i can keep a secret
if you can keep me guessing
the flavour of your lips
is enough to keep me pressing
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currently listening
cause this is “see you later,” I’m not into goodbyes | ||||||||
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Thursday, August 31, 2006, 11:57 PM
 The picture says it all. Staring at books. Yes, staring. Not reading. Tried, but my mind drifts into the abyss of my thoughts. I've got nothing more to say but those three words i kept saying to you. I really do. I think some parents dont love their kids enough to give them proper naems. I saw a girl from our school named*chokes* MARGARINE so faiz, we thought wrong. Ppl do name their kids after food. and I thought Butters of Southpark was a sad kid. Anyways, i met up with my best friend, Rabiah after school today. So sorry to that i hadnt gone to the NPCC party. I wished i could, but i cant split myself up into two. My flaw. The first that she said to me was that "You've lost a tremondous amount of weight or am i just dreaming?" Is it really that obvious? I never thought losing a FEW kilograms is that noticable. She's now a gym junkie, if that's what you call it. She's got 4 packs!! I'm envious. I am just too lazy to do any form of exercise. I know, i'm such a pig. Ouh yeah, saw the so very gorgeous Pearlyn Chua- also a primary school friend. She's perfect. She's great looking, a prefect, and all those qualities that you can ever ask for in a girl. Her boyfriend is like super tall. TALLLLLL. I bet he is 185cm. As usual, we gossiped about the lastest huha on our slutty little ex-best friend who thinks she's uber special just because she's in RGS. Ok, i know i sound maliciously evil and sinister, but seriously la, we never thought tat she'd turn out that way. OK, maybe since primary school, she was quite annoying and petty, but i never knew, going to RGS, would make her into a minah. MINAH MINAH MINAH MINAH MINAH. FLIRTY LITTLE FUGLY MINAH. She thinks she so high class la. Shared a bit of our struggles here and there. But not into detail as i figured that if i were to go into detail, i'd be crying my eyes out. I miss primary school days for once; they're less complicated and far more innocent. and seriously. i think this blog is getting too much publicity. i have no clue how the link is spread out but it seems like the whole dang world is reading it. I'm bruising easily these days. I'll get swellings at places where i dont even remember hitting or hurting. I checked out the possibilities, and... Well, i doubt that i have what they claim that i might have. I mean, having a few of the symptoms means nothing, right? haha. i mean, ya. i'm thinking too much. just thinking too much. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou - How could an Angel break my heart? Why didn't he catch my falling star? I'd give it all just for you. Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 9:31 PM
Bring in the oxygen, because this heart is dying with each passing day. I'd rather not say a thing. Just that i love you. For everything you are For everything you have done Thank you -you flutter my insides with butterflies
Azhar 1. something random about you - you always got strange questions that leave me scratching my head 2. a challenge - GET LAID!! lmao 3. the colour i associate you with - grey 4. something I like about you - your patience and positive attitude 5. my first/clearest memory about you - primary school i guess. super quite. 6. an animal you remind me of - a lion 7. something I've always wanted to ask you - are you freaking serious on never getting married?? NICOLETTE 1. something random about you - you are retarded, i swear 2. a challenge - lose weight? 3. the colour i associate you with - Orange 4. something I like about you - your kind soul 5. my first/clearest memory about you - the girl who irritated me into becoming my best friend =) 6. an animal you remind me of - dog? the chiwawa =DDDD lmao 7. something I've always wanted to ask you - have you ever cheated on your bf? Wendy 1. something random about you - naive 2. a challenge - kill pikachu 3. the colour i associate you with - green 4. something I like about you - your sweet inoncence 5. my first/clearest memory about you - you at school looking for teachers to sign forms for relief duties 6. an animal you remind me of - Squirtle the turtle? 7. something I've always wanted to ask you - What possessed you to still love pokemon at this age? Razin 1. something random about you - annoying 2. a challenge - sing out loud la!! dont whisper the lyrics.=DDD 3. the colour i associate you with - grey 4. something I like about you - your nice-ness 5. my first/clearest memory about you - the chairperson of 1e3? 6. an animal you remind me of - dog??? i dunno. i dont really think ppl as animals! 7. something I've always wanted to ask you - Kau kena rasuk babi ape? hahahaha. woah. damn funny Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 8:25 PM
i'm so relieved that we are not performing for teachers' day anymore. *grins* Slacking with Jan and Razin and Shafiq is so very very very fun. They fooled around with Tan's electric guitar while I emoed, trying to learn how to play the acoustic guitar, with Razin's help of course. Random thought: Faiz's guitar pick is ugly because it's yellow. Random thought #2: Shafiq will never change Shafiq: Siti, can you please not not smile. Because once you dont, you look sad and depressed. You must always bare your teeth and smile. Crying doesnt suit your face. AWWWWW!!!! That is like the sweetest thing he had ever said. =) I'm a happy kid i'll always smile, as long you make me Monday, August 28, 2006, 7:18 PM
-Sick of mind games. I'm not sure if you want this as much as I do. Ok, so we've made it into the auditions. Argh!!! Just so worked up. It was supposed to be fun but the teachers made it into some sort of competition. So tell me, Razin, how am i to have fun?
Basically, I'm a bundle of nerves. =( TO JAMIL: SCREW YOU. I DONT EVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. LIKE, EAT YOUR BALLS, WILL I EVER WANNA MEET SUCH MALE CHAUVINIST PIGS LIKE YOU!!! I'll go beserk if i am to listen to Hero again. I'm hearing the song for the millionth time. =(( A very meaningful post from Yunus' blog. I realized, no one can live alone in this world. God created Eve out of Adam for a reason. Eve was a part of Adam and she made him complete. Same with all of us. No matter who you are, you will eventually need someone who is from the opposite sex, be it your stead, god sibling, sibling, cousin, parents, adults blah blah. You can't live your life and understand it from seeing it from your own point of view. Sometimes life would be more easier to understand when you look at it and share it with another person of the opposite sex.... However, too much of everything is not good either. You cannot depend on someone. You can't piggy ride on the person's back all the time, but eventually you will need to walk on your own, next to the person.... But never walk alone.... God sent us angels, and these are the friends we see around us. It is human nature to care and to share. No human was ever created to be perfect, we cannot make life as perfect as the life of God. Slowly I'm learning things as I go along. I now understand why sometimes people use the oppposite sex to fill them up emotionally and then dump them.... I do now.... But I don't dump, haven yet for that sort of reason.... I learn from experiences, and I don't like people to say they understand me if they dun't really do. If I slit my wrists, the pain you see, is it the same as the pain I feel? Definitely not..... Don't ever say you understand someone when you really don't cause it will hurt the person more, instead of making them feel secure.... Sometimes they need the presence of someone to lean on and not their words.... When somebody needs you, don't tell them what to do, walk next to them and lift them up high.... Saw this on Asiq's blog.  A reason why fast food is evil; boys get cleavage. Sunday, August 27, 2006, 6:57 PM
I'm dumb. I'm so dumb. I know she's not a big part of my life, but she's a part of someone who is a big part in mine. I know i shouldnt emo about that sort of thing. But i cant help it. i just cant. my mum was evil enough to not spare the gorey details. Hung out with Faiz for like a like 15 hours ytd? hung out at my area, gibbering, emoing and crapping. Blah. at 230pm, i went out to get my Bio notes from Razin since I wish not to turn the house upside-down looking for them. Met my mum there at CP and did a very very small amount of shopping. Bought my top for the Gala dinner. And since I've finished studying biology now, i'm off to torture my tonsils with memorising a song, Hero, by tommorow. Wow. so uber last minute. Jan and Razin owes me big time.  Saw this photo on Faiz's phone. AND yes, it's pretty disturbing. Faiz look gay His friends looks just as gay And Sammy looks cute Saturday, August 26, 2006, 4:19 PM
Ok. Confession: I JUST WOKE UP!!! i know. I'm such a P.I.G- perpetually idiotic girl. This meant that i missed biology mock exam. *groans* Mr Malvin's course ytd was uber bland yet, he and all my great friends managed to spice it up. I think if it were to continue to 10pm, all of us yould have definately died. Yes, in case you are wondering, the course is at nite. 6.30 till 9.00pm. It's no wonder I immediately got the wind knocked out of me once i reached home. MUM is amazing. I love her. She's great. She brought me and my sis to Newton Eating Centre where ate our hearts out. =) Had the biggest prawns in the whole world. The meal costed a hefty $85 bucks. but it was worth it. The thang about me is that i seriously prefer our Asian cuisines, and i definately love eating at food courts rather than at chic expensive restaurants. I dont know why. I know you ppl must have thought i'm very 'class' type. but noooooooo. =) I need to go shopping!!! For gala dinner, what else? I need a top, a skirt (those super short kind) and heels (so i'd look taller) You know, i think i really like my weight now. It's 43 kg. It sounds decent, does it not? Must maintain it. Craps, which means, i must jump into the bandwagon with Nicolette and Rachel, who are dieting. I REALLY DONT KNOW WHY THE 39KG RACHEL GOH WOULD NEED A DIET!! why must it be you? , 1:04 AM
Who are you? I dont know you anymore. I just dont. Taking back what you said, was never your style. I dont know anymore. But it doesnt change a thing about how i feel, unfortunately. How unfortunate. Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off Lyrics Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress? Then think of what you did And how I hope to God he was worth it. When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin. I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? No, no, no, you know it will always just be me I'm shagged and braindead. SCREW BIO. i cant absorb no more. And thank you for all the smiles and laughter on friday. you can never want me to not smile, cant you?  MY COUSIN! HOT OR NOT? AZMI IS HIS NAME. AND HE IS STILL SINGLE. ANY TAKERS? Friday, August 25, 2006, 1:21 AM
Have Singaporeans gone deaf? What justification does the exit of Nurul prove? that you need only the looks to be an idol? let me remind you that this is a singing competition. not singapore's next top model or whatsoever. If this competition were to be aired on radio, it'd be a completely different scenario.So the next time you decide to tune into Singapore Idol, please close your eyes and listen, for once. Unless it's Joakim's or Jasmine's, I suggest tht you press mute and feast your eyes. You know that it really doesnt concern me if people hate me. It really doesnt bother me anymore. Because, unlike them, i'm more likeable. For every one person who hates me, there are ten who loves me. So why should i give any two cents worth of care to such minute insignificant figures? Most probably i had killed their mums in my past life which brings such hatred in them towards me. Yesterday was uneventful except for the fact that I really feel that Mrs Tang's an amazing person. Despite her not teaching me, I'm getting for a gift for teachers' day, i swear. 1) she's a great a person and she should have recognition for that. 2) she's one of the very few teachers who can force a smile on me when she passes by. She'll give me that approving nod and smile and sometimes, ask me if i was doing fine. Miss Joseph too. She's seriously nice sia. She once asked me if i was depressed or sth as she was passing by. Of course, i'm obligated to say that i was fine as it'd be weird to say that i'm not. And honestly, if you come to think of it, miss norlina isnt tat bad. I like her. NOTE TO SELF:
Crap, going so broke. Dad's freaking out over the 60 over dollars to be paid for grad nite and gala dinner. I'm so scared. so very freaked out over english this tuesday. PRESSURE Now that I'm losing hope And theres nothing else to show For all of the days that were spent carrying away from hope Somethings I'll never know And I had to let them go I'm sitting all alone Feeling empty I can feel the pressure its getting closer now We're better off without you I can feel the pressure its getting closer now We're better off without you I'M CRAZY OVER HER!!   i'm so dying my hair red like hers one day =) Ok! I'lll stop jabbering on such old songs. Thursday, August 24, 2006, 1:27 AM
 You ppl never fail to make me smirk.The familiar, you dont know me as well as you think you do,' is such an over rated cliche. I swear, i'd roll my eyes a million times like how Nicolette would put it, if i could. I always see the same old,"I may appear chirpy at school yadayada crap but deep inside blablabla";it's getting old, it's so stale! It may arouse curiousity once or twice, but too much, appears fake. Everyone knows the pressure, so dont be afraid to blow off your top once in awhile. I wouldnt mind,it creates excitement, you see. Do break the door if you must. do shout if you want. do emo if have to, because we are in this together. HANG IN THERE. =) Ok, in spite of the fact that i really want to die because of the pressure of being obligated to get an A for english and the temptaions of pushing the non-existant restart button of sec 4 life, I think I'm beginning to love every insane moment of it. this is where you really know who your true friends are. the ones who'd stick by you when you're low. I seriously feel loved! I feel so much love by so many people. shucks. i'm so happy that i'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Crap, i even blush for no good reasons. shite, i'm a happy load of crap =) Yengjie did the dumbest and most hilarious thing to me just now that got me laughing red. You see, i had my jacket on, when he suddenly tied the sleeves up right in front of my chest leaving my arms knotted in the jacket. TE YENGJIE!!! Razin and Megat that gang laughed at me while Yengjie rolled on the floor laughing at his own stupidity. I was there rooted laughing, for a good one minute until Yengjie decides to set me free. damn it. They rock my world. Ok, so what if i got into the Narrative course? You dont have to say that Mrs Gibson is biased. Are you up to it? If you arent, dont complain. if you are not up to par, why make things difficult for you? I might be defensive over gibson here, but seriously, it's not her choice of wanting the so called, better students for the course, it's Mr Lim's. Plus, not many dared to raise their hands, just because she said that Mr Lim wanted the better lot. it's not really her choice overall. it's yours. I REALLY LIKE DIARY OF JANE. AND YUNUS!! MEMECAHKAN BUNYAMIN(Breaking Benjamin in arab) That sms is so random can!!! WTF! I LOVE ROCK =) OK, NO, EMO. NO WAIT, ROCK. BU THEN AGAIN.. OH WELL. IT'S ROCK =D p.s Jane in the music video is so hot. i think she's an american idol finalist. =D and ben (the vocalist) is so vivaciously gorgeous!! swoons AND FOR THE RECORD, MY BREASTS DID NOT GET ANY SMALLER LIKE HOW YOU DISGUSTING PORCINES HAD THOUGHT!!! AND I HAVE PICTURES TO PROVE SO !! Ok, wrong way to phrase that sentence in that context.  they are still big? ok, i'm a little busty for my size.... which reminds me of that day, where Sammy and I were comparing our booby sizes. NO, NOT THAT TESTERONE RAGING, Y CHROMOSOME SAMMY! I MEAN, SAMANTHA =D  i should stop taking photos of myself. it's disturbing. Tuesday, August 22, 2006, 1:14 AM
After school, Saran, Nicolette, Jeremy and I went to eat lunch at BK. Urgh. I think i gained two thousand kilogrammes. Did a bit of biology after that. Haha. Man, i love talking to them. Actually, i love talking to everyone. Like, seriously, how long has it been since we hung out in small groups gossiping? the world does not reside only in your class, you know? so many shites have happened in other classes. Esp about ppl droppin out of school because they cant cope. God, i thought i was pathetic!!! Ouh yeah, the entire class, i believe, is going to be going for the Gala Dinner this sept!! i am pretty psyched about the whole thing. It's like one of the last few times that we can enjoy as a class. Gosh!!! Imagine the grandure. And the food is said to be delightable. Oh, here's the coolest bit, the entire class opted for the muslim menu!!! everyone is gonna be so gorgoeus. Esp my dearest WENDY PHUA!! All the cam-whoring!! Man, for the first time, i dont regret becoming a Vistarian. Crap. I need new shoes. Ok, i know that my shoes can still be used but it's tearing.... and i've used it for over a year now, so i do deserve a new pair, RIGHT??? And shut it, dont say i'm spoilt, because i jolly well know that =) so this mean my dad must give me like 80+24+30=xxx for my things. ard 80 for my shoes, 24 for the resit examination and 30 for the Gala dinner. i'm sorry daddy, i really am. Mum is getting me (or should i just say us?) a digicam next week. I hope she delivers her promise because i need a cam as this is afterall my last year in secondary school. Btw, i am so turned on by the guitarists just now during the assembly!! ouh man, they are like idols worthy of worship!! god!! orgasmic. seriously!!! arghhhh!! too bad they cant sing or else i would have melted there and then. Seriously, guys must know how to play an acoustic guitar and sing. it'd definately sweep girls off their feet. If someone plays for me(noone has done that yet! like, wth!) kauz, i wont know how to react. i think i'll cry. haha. ok, let's not dream of impossible scenarios. IT WONT HAPPEN. I CAN BET MY LIFE ON THAT. Monday, August 21, 2006, 1:53 AM
NEVER LEAVE SITI AT HOME BY HERSELF TO ROT BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN:     YES! SHE'LL CAM-WHORE FOR AN HOUR AFTER SHE GETS BORED OF BOOKS, MSN AND TV. I'm sorry to have scared many of you with my mortifying and horrendous unadobed photographs. I know they're so unglam and AZMI will definately say i look freakin ugly in some of them but damn it, i like my photographs. I realise my paternal family have pretty screwed up love lifes. PERIOD. My cousins on that side are like me. HOPELESS ROMANTICS. now i know where i have inherited these genes from. So, it got me asking 'how is that so?' i mean, we all stooped ourselves pretty low and humiliated ourselves for the sake of a fairytale love story. the kind where love prevails and there's a happily-ever-after. And then i kinda realise why all of us yearn for this love. it's our family. there is a familiar pattern in this paternal family, which is, we either have widowed wives/husbands or we have unfaithful spouses. out of the like 12 aunts and uncles, at least 8 fall under that catergory. so yes. dont blame me for being emo. perhaps this is why we're all like this. we're emotional. and once we get too attached to someone, we dont ever wanna even think of letting them go after seeing how messed up our adults are when they do. and we in turn, get as messed up. FUCK. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALIKNG ABOUT???!! suddenly sense makes no sense. i guess that's what love is. IT MAKES NO SENSE. Sunday, August 20, 2006, 2:58 PM
Nicolette and I have hots for the same guy. Yeah, we're currently crushing out on this Sec5 guy, KenKei (sp??) He caught our eye during the kayaking course where we saw him half naked. ok, let's not scare the poor guy inot hiding. But really, dude, YOU'RE DAMN HOT. RANDOM THOUGHT: WENDY HAS VERY SOFT HANDS RANDOM THOUGHT 2: RACHEL GOH IS UTTERLY SPASTIC!! Do you know what this woman does almost everytime after pledge taking? She'd dive to my calf and try to pull me down. we'd fall laughing our asses off. Man, what a week. Firstly, i wanna thank everyone who have been so caring, supportive, and super towards me for these past couple of months. I know i've been hardheaded. I know i havent been listening to you guys and been utterly selfish and ungrateful. I allowed my emotions to blind me of the fact that you guys actually care so very mcuh for me. And for those of you who have tried so hard and end up disappointed and hopeless, i'm sorry. I didnt realise me being hurt, actually indirectly hurts you. I know for one person, this applies to him very much. I also wanna thank all for the endless encouragement to pursue my dream. RAZIN AND NICOLETTE ESP. You guys actually believe that i can get 10 freakin points for that course i want. man, you guys are like ANGELS. tata. lots of love, from the emo one =) ouh yes, pls visit this blog. i kinda like it www.datethispage.blogspot.com Monday, August 14, 2006, 9:07 PM
Sadness and grief clouds this heart. Doubts of going on with life fills this mind. Everyday, it's like choking on my own air. It's as if life itself is trying to kill this useless being. But how could one who's already dead, die again? It's because I feel that i've already died. Because i fell in love. And love, well that's freakin' suicide. Suddenly, it came clear to me why my skin felt tight and my heart raced abnormally fast whenever i hear that Bon Jovi song. It was.. It was that card. Damn, you, siti, DAMN YOU. You fool. And now, i feel torn. Just unsure on the path to take. -this broken heart is too weak to hold your weight -I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow , 12:20 AM
Sunday, August 13, 2006, 2:07 AM
I shouldnt have followed him there. It was so secluded. Not a soul passed by. I should have seen it coming. But.. I didnt. Why? Because he was my friend. I trusted him. My primary school friend. We grew up and got to know each other then. Why hadnt i've seen that he had change. Why I am so naive? i'm terribly upset with myself. How could i allow such things to happen to me? i let him? fuck it. why cant i be stronger so i can fight dickheads like him? he saw that i was small, petite and vulnerable, and just like that, i was taken advantage of. By my own friend? He said sorry after that. I just smiled weakly and said, it's ok. BUT BLOODY HELL NO, IT'S NOT FUCKIN OK!! FUCK YOU! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I WAS USED OF. I WAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BECAUSE I'M SO NAIVE. the first was by someone i barely know. now, it's by you, of all ppl! FUCK YOU... I FUCKING HATE YOU. I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE ME OR YOU'D GIVE UP THE WORLD TO BE WITH ME! YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME AND I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR THAT. i dont wish to narrate this event ever again. Saturday, August 12, 2006, 5:54 PM
AZHAR!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS YOU! YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND =) you helped me in a very weird way =) thank you for doing me the favour and succeeding!! MAY ALLAH S.W.T BLESS YOUR SOUL. , 4:49 PM
Hey girlfriends and boyfriends! Here, to so-called promote a concert that is going on next Saturday, 19 Aug. Tix are at $5 bucks a piece and only 300 are left! The band, Carpenter's Tools. I heard it's towards a very pop-ish genre? for more details, check them out at here Contact me or best, Michelle, if you're interested, a.s.a.p!  p.s I'm not sure if i'm going! =) Today, we had PHYSICS mock exams, but i didnt turn up for it because, i was lazy. however, i still had to drag my ass to school because of the compulsory CIP. Yes, we had taken over the jobs of every karang guni men in Rivervale. At first, i was a lost chick, so i somehow wondered around and met yengjie's group. TE YENG JIE IS HIGHLY ANNOYING. the dude with us, Hanxing or Hanhui (as usual, i get very confused) said that YengJie and I are like a pair of squabbling couple since we somehow get entangled in each others' hands arguing over crap whenever we see each other. urgh. pukes blood. sorry, it's yengjie's fault. he started it! he always starts it! But i adore him for he makes me laugh my ass off. Btw, Hanxing or Hanhui(which ever)'s clique finds me decent =) or so they thought! HAHA. I'm a decent kid =) As usual, we gossiped. And as usual, it's about Shaun. Talking about Shaun is like the so-called bond that brings 4e2 together. it sounds awful and bitchy, but, what the heck, everyone seems to have the same dislike for him. I dont dislike him actually. Nor do i adore him. I just RATHER NOT have him around. maybe the sight of his tight shirt and protruding tits are a turn off or for the fact i hate the arrogance in tone whenever he talks or that he scratches his asscrack whenever he walks. i honestly dont know. After we got all hot and sweaty(really doesnt sound right), we finally bumped into my group(Samantha, Nick, Eeyin, Shafiq and Sihui and TSY) and we went around knocking door-to-door, shamelessly, asking for newspapers. It ended sooner rather than expected. it was quite fun actually. I AM HORRENDOUSLY IN LOVE WITH 4E2. Hung out with the girls at compasspoint after that. i love them every single one of them, MICHELLE, STEPH, EEYIN, EILEEN, WENDY, RACHEL, LIFEN AND SIHUI. crap, i want a denim jacket. saw one at Giodarno at a very feasible price =) ok, gotta go. tata! , 12:13 AM
THANKS JAN, RAZIN AND SHAFIQ for so-called looking for me just know after i walked out of the hall. Man, you guys are the greatest friends a girl can get. I love every single one of you tried making me laugh and look at the brighter side of things =) I ADORE YOU GUYS. And Jan, thanks for tricking Zul to thinking he got D7 for MT, cause it really made me laugh. i feel uber lucky that i'm the only girl among the malays in class that you guys have 'responsiblity' of. And Tan Mohd Faiz, thanks. I love you. Friday, August 11, 2006, 11:28 PM
You know all those times you said you miss me? And I said that I miss me too? Truth is, I miss you so much that no words can describe it. You know all those times I said that I hate you? Well, yeah, but not as much as I love you. And all the times you said you love me? Just wanna let you know, I LOVE YOU TOO. from now, i surrender to fate, though my love for you wont die. -------------------------- Until the day I die I'll spill my heart for you, for you Until the day I die I'll spill my heart for you As years go by I race the clock with you But if you died right now You know that I'd die to I'd die too You remind me of the times When I knew who I was (When I knew who I was) But still the second hand will catch us Like it always does. Well make the same mistakes I'll Take the fall for you I hope you need this now cuz I know I still do. Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Should I bite my tongue Until blood soaks my shirt? We'll never fall apart so Tell me why this hurts so much My hands are at your throat And I think I hate you But still we'll say, "remember when" Just like we always do, just like we always do Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!!!! Yeah I'd spill my heart, for you!!!!!!! My hands are at your throat And I think I hate you We made the same mistakes mistakes like friends do, my hands are at your throat and I think I hate you we made the same mistakes. Until the day I die I'll spill my heart for you, for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you, for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) Until the day I die!!!!!! , 12:28 AM
Stayed at home the whole day today. I woke up at 4 pm and my mum and sis had already left for lavender to make my sis's IC. i know she's going to lose it once she gets hold of it, since she's already lost her ez link card five times. Anyway, i'm feeling sick today. been sneezing since i got off bed. ARGH, with the prelims so near, can i really afford to get sick? bet not. grrrss. tons of homework undone as i so very briliantly left them all in the classroom. bravo, siti, bravo. among these homework is the blue book, the physics FYS and the social studies worksheets. CRAP!!!! I HATE MYSELF, PRONTO. I've been waiting for it to rain. i dunno why. i just want it to rain. Just a reminder, tomorrow, we'll be getting our Mother tongue results, which i know, i'll have to retake. fags. I know i'm thinking very negatively over here, but i think i'll end up in ITE. quite sure of that. and for some reason, i dont frigging care. seriously, i dont quite care. i mean, i already plan on which ITE to go to. Simei ITE. It's near, i guess. and take nursing i suppose. stable income, though not the most glamourous of jobs. it's not that bad, anyway. prefects like Diyanah went to ITE and she's still nice and all. whoever said that ITE is 'it's the end'? i'm feeling sleepy. medication, i guess. i got to wake up early to try to get my homework done at school. toodles. I fucking hate you. Thursday, August 10, 2006, 5:44 PM
I'M DISTURBED!! VERY VERY DISTURBED. THIS DUDE [OR SHOULD I SAY OLD MAN??] ADDED ME ON FRIENDSTER. do i LOOK like a NYMPHO to you!!!! Honestly, I'm more of SCARED than disturbed. Really. It's totally FReakiNG me out. Suddenly, i feel so unsafe, as if someone is stalking me. Maybe i'm just too naive and innocent [in this case, i am innocent], but really, stab me, I'd rather die than have this old guyor any old guy for that matter take advantage of me. On friendster, the purpose is to MAKE new friends or sth like that. NOT MAKE OUT with new friends. I'm disturbed. Like, check out his pictures on friendster!! they're all of sexy sluts in lingerie. help. http://www.friendster.com/28364937 On his WHO WOULD LIKE TO MEET: "Any cute girl who enjoys making love" DO I LOOK LIKE I'D ENJOY MAKING LOVE WITH THE LIKES OF HIM:  GOD, KILL ME. AND I'M STILL VERY DISTURBED. FUCK. AM I JUST OVEREACTING??? NO!!! I DO HAVE A RIGHT TO FREAK OUT OVER THIS!! LIKE WTH!! this means, i'm vulnerable! shit. i hate being vulnerable and helpless. AND HAZIQ'S A DICKHEAD. he said that i'm utterly lucky to have him add me. he was laughing at me can!! i hate myself. ANYWAY!!! I LOVE THIS BAND CURRENTLY.  Artist: Daphne Loves DerbyTitle: Hopeless Love Album: Daphne Loves Derby 200 miles away from home 200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs But you don't care at all You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs oh my lungs You demand to be chased for your love My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long But you don't care at all There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow,somehow Please be home tonight I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel Every time you're here. What would it take for me to be with you I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed, please be impressed I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all oh at all Hopeless love please leave me This broken heart is far to weak to run for you this long Why don't you care at all? I'm dying for a place in your heart. Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow Please be home tonight I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel Every time you're here. Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me? This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight And now I regret the day we met And help me forget your name. - this is song is pretty acoustic, if you get what i mean. very mellow. you won't really like it at first because their lyrics are pretty weak, but as you listen on, the dang thing actually grows on you. i mean, it's pretty emo, and i like emo songs =) a simple song and it delivers their message pretty well. rating: 3/5 , 1:34 AM
I wouldnt have been studying if i was at home anyway. too many distractions. the com for instance. And i shouldnt be at home today. i was SUPPOSED to go out with SOMEONE la! However, the MORON bailed out on me last night for his friends. Did you know that i turned down 2 other ppl because you had asked first? Like, do you know how heartbroken the 2 other ppl were? Ok, enough of suaning, because i feel very happy already after saying those few lines. Haha. I'm such nice person [pukes blood] and i should understand the delima of being torn with choices. Currently smitten by Nicolette's blog entry. AWWWW!!! I LOVE YOU TOO. to siti* just wanna say thanks for everything. i know i always get cranky around you but you’ve been such a sweet sweet tolerant friend. to this somebody i’ve not yet learn to appreciate, i’m learning (: i’m sorry because i think i wasn’t around at your lowest but i’ll be around always be from right now onwards kay? and you’re not fat, not ugly and in fact. you’re HOT. yeah i know there’re a million guys hankering after you. i jealous kay? hahaha maybe i should get aneroxic and depressed. hehehehe. LOVE YOU. isn't she just the sweetest???? AND BTW, IT'S NOT A MILLION GUYS LA. I'll be humble and modest, it's just less than five. She got me thinking on how we actually got to be friends. judging from our very different personalities, it's very hard to even picture it back then. It's so weird that i cant remember how a freindship started, but i sure as hell can recall how a friendship ended. did you ppl like, caught the parade just now?? I cant help but to think that that Indian commander in white just now would be the future Prem. It's weird that i actually thought it was him. Oh man. Wednesday, August 09, 2006, 4:35 PM
DECEPTION It's not just conmen who mislead you into things. sometimes, without us knowing, it's our most trusted ones who commit this crime of deceit. However,the feeling of being conned by that obnoxious salesman,somehow isn't as comparable as being conned by your closest friends. Yes, such treachery feels like having the air choked out of you. Cheated and fooled, you look back and question if you really knew the person. Or had the person just put on an act all along? Doubts fills your mind. Questions left unanswered. Had it all been a lie? And then i cannot continue on with my composition as i'm havinga writer's block. Dang. I have this huge problem of beginning my compososition eplanantionally. Every bloody compo begins by so-called explaining what the single word means (yes, i'll only attempt question 5) without the refrence of a dictionary. I guess I like to begin with my thoughts on the words. I mean, whenever you see a word, then you'd tend to think of another word that is somehow associated with it. Like, "food" you'd think of the word, "eat" or "rice" or "hungry". I guess that's why usually, my first paragraph would be utterly long. after the first paragraph, comes the narrative part of the compo, meaning a story, something i find pretty hard to do. I guess i always want to think out of the box. Having an irony in the bloody composition. and when i dont have a freaking irony or an anti-climax, i'd do a really boring piece of storyline that would get me between a staggering 18 to 20. I really wanna get a 24 at least for my compo! If only Gibson actually marks our composition, i'd know my progress!!! I mean, it is really not fair. I put such immense effort in doing my compositions in that dingy blue book and all i get in the book is a tick and a signature. Not even so a comment or an error of tenses(which i always have) Might as well i give her a slipshot compo of just a page like MANY of the kids in the class. Or i write sth totally not related with the topic and see if she still puts a tick at the end of the compo. And wow, this must be the very first time i ever complain about Mrs Gibson! I was never annoyed or irritated with her sarcasm-because it never refers to me- but this is about my grades. Grrrrs. She's annoying me. ok, so it's not her fault that she teaches other classes and has a lot of work to do, but really la, as selfish as it may seem, WHAT ABOUT ME? Like, freaking hell, you are one of the teachers who actually believes that i've got potential and a promising future but you're apparently not trying to bring it out in me. Like, my compositons of at least two and half pages, have you even noticed a change, an improvement or a deprovement? [bare with me, i know i sound farking nerdy] Would you even notice if i stated, "THE WORLD IS SQUARE AND YOUR MUM'S A WHORE?" ok, grrrs, i'll stop my blabbering. I'm getting mean. I shall be considerate and pretend that i dont mind. ok!! NDP PHOTOS! ok, I know i look totally unglam in many of it, but what the hell, I LOVE NP AND I'LL MISS IT SO VERY MUCH!  The stars of the parade  A thousand bucks for the person who can spot me =p  THE CHOIR  crap, i act cute in this one.   Urgh. My unglam moment.            swwwuuueeeiiitttt , 1:22 AM
anyway, here's a song i kinda emo-ed to just now. for you, to who it may concern  Artist: The Red Jumpsuit ApparatusTitle: The Acoustic Song Album: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus When I see your smile tears roll down my face I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul, and I know ill find deep inside me, I can be the one. I will never let you fall I'll stand up for you forever ill be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one. I will never let you fall I'll stand up for you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. Cause you're my you're my my true love my whole heart please don't throw that away. Cause I'm here, for you please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay, stay... Use me as you will pull my strings just for a thrill and I know ill be okay though my skies are turning gray. I will never let you fall I'll stand up for you forever I'll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to heaven. (repeat) Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 6:05 PM
just recovered from a faint. if that's how you phrase it. dazed. weak. pale. glad it was at home. cant remember a thing though. , 11:46 AM
this post is dedicated to one of my great dude friends, RAZIN!! YES, YOU ANNOYING TWIT! I can't help but to say that he's been really really really really really great to me. He'll be bothered with me -as a matter of fact, everyone- not looking happy. He's just one of those very nice ppl who just want to make this screwed up world a little more brighter. His quest in this moronic world was to make eveRYone smile. Maybe it's his natural instinct to make everyone laugh with his cynical jokes. And half the time, when i'm looking utterly depressed he'd bother to ask if i was alright. man, it's like so very hard to get a friend like that sia. i'm just lucky to have met someone like him. =) Also, it's super fun to talk to him, megat and jan about the irony of this godforsaken world. we'll laugh our asses off and might roll down on the floor. He's always coming up with the lamest and crappiest comments and ideas, which actually got me thinking,'Is he mad?' And whenever i feel upset, sth that he had said earlier would sometimes make me laugh to myself and it'd cheer me up. Like, dude! you rock. thanks for everything. not many ppl can cheer ppl up; he's apparently one of them. You wanna smile or a laugh, go to Mohd Razin of 4e2'06 North Vista Sec. and he'll give you, a ball of a time. , 4:19 AM
HEY!!! REMEMBER THIS TEMPLATE FROM LAST YEAR? YEAH, I'M USING IT AGAIN BECAUSE: 1) I got bored of the old one, but i know i'll use it again later in the future 2) Noone is nice enough to make me a new template skin 3) I love Hamtaro. Just a little bit less than how I love my Nano. 4) I cant make my own Hamtaro skin. 5) I'm lazy to read the HTML nonsense gibber and blab. 6) I'm feeling random. PLS DON'T TELL ME THAT: 1) the song and the template dont go well together cause i know how gay this skin is. rite now, you guys most probably have your hairs standing on its end and have a weird sensation going down your spine. 2) my html sucks because i know DO TELL ME: 1) whether you prefer the old template or this one 2) if you are willing to make me a nice template 3) if you think i'm gay and that you wanna gay with me 4) if you like the song playing now or not speaking of which here you go!  Artist: HalifaxTitle: Sydney Album: A Writer's Reference So tell me now, what do I have to do Say things that will get through to you. I cross my fingers and I'll pray for you To somehow see this site. Call me more convinced, say there's a way to cure this loneliness With common sense. If I could be anything, I would be medication for you. And everything that you've done wrong. If i could be anything, I would be one medal of honor, For you and everything that you've done right. Call me pathetic, call me what you will, Just please don't leave my side. You're so medicated. You don't even remember my name. Well I'll bite my fingernails until it hurts no more To dig you out, to dig you out. If I could be anything, I would be medication for you. And everything that you've done wrong. If i could be anything, I would be one medal of honor, For you and everything that you've done right. Today, I walk to forget, I'd rather open up this casket and jump inside. Sleep under the stars with you tonight. I'd rather be below than ever be without you Your funeral can make it hard to breathe They're few and far between The days are seeming shorter, the nights seem so much longer I'm laying here when I should be there with you I bite my fingernails until it hurts no more To dig you out To dig you out If I could be anything, I would be medication for you. And everything that you've done wrong. If i could be anything, I would be one medal of honor, For you and everything, that you've done right For you and everything which you've done right I DO NOT DO REVIEWS. I JUST RECOMMEND SONGS. I PUT THE LYRICS TO LET YOU GUYS JUDGE THE SONGS YOURSELVES =) I HATE YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIAR. I FUCKING HATE YOU. , 1:31 AM
 This piece of plain paper got me grinning like a mad dog all day. thanks Mrs Tang, you're the best! She told us that whenever you feel down and useless, we just need to take a look at this and realise that even you feel worthless, your friends will always find you priceless and unique in so many different ways. TE YENG JIE WROTE THIS: Strong sturdy accurate precise long skinny flexible hands. That's what he thinks of me =_=' I have a feeling that it's his way of saying that I'm a cute and pretty girl with charms and charisma , and that he adores me. Ok, gone a bit out of hand on that one over there! hahaha. Nicolette claims that she's going to count the number of "gorgeous" she has on hers. kauz. I'm just glad noone in the class said that i'm emo. It was a great way to end the day, so once again Mrs Tang, thank you. I started my morning pretty badly. I woke up feeling very ugly. Really. I'm paranoid. I was so very upset with myself this morning. I seriously felt ugly. You have no idea. I dont know why i'm feeling this way. Maybe i've gone mad or sth but really, i never felt so ugly in whole entire life. I looked in the mirror and saw that everything about me was wrong. from my face to my hair, to my nose. everything looked wrong to me. It's like as if i've mutated into a different creature overnight. During the morning assembly, i was just scrutinising myself in the mirror and i could have burst out crying if not for the singing of the anthem. Questioning myself what the hell is the matter with me. seriously. i hate feeling this way. it's as if getting myself occupied with my appearance is a way to shun away from my other problems. my feelings for that matter. but as usual, if you try to run away from your problems and emotions, they'd soon pile up and you find yourself in a bigger mess than before. I guess i've always been too in touch with my feelings. I just wanna be beautiful. No. wait, i wanna be perfect. Am i being just an ingrate for not being grateful for what i have now? Why do i want the contentment of being utterly perfect? What's wrong with me? I'm jsut so torn up inside. i'm just emotionally drained. look past my eyes, do i really look that sad? How did i even get into this thinking that i'm ugly? that i must be perfect in everyway? Why do i wanna lose weight when i'm already that light? why do i wanna do all these things that make myself feel much worse? Am i just being stupid? why do i do all these things though i know that it's not healthy. why is that i cant help it? after reading the messages everyone wrote to me, i realised that sth is wrong with me. i think i'm emotionally unwell. i think i'm psycho. because whatever i think is totally the opposite of what my friends and classmates say. or did they lie? once again, there i go, doubting everyone. the thick hard headed Taurus. and i know there'll be ppl reading this blog saying that i'm just deprived for attention and then leaving snide rude comments in forms of annon, trying your upmost to bring me down even further into the depth of my own abyss. I'M UGLY AND STUPID, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. nothing has ever been the same. i lost everything. Monday, August 07, 2006, 2:07 AM
Najib is currently very upset over the youtube code. hope he cools down soon cause my cheering up doesnt seem to be working. i must be horrible at cheering ppl up. no! i am terrible at it. grrrrs.. currently very pleased with myself because i changed my Mozilla theme to a pink one. so bloody thing i see on my com is light baby pink =) it is gorgeous =) and yeah, it is the PINK PAULA Mozilla theme that Xiaxue introduced. I swore, my eyes sparkled with joy. It's very very very very very pretty. I am so happy!!!!! Jamil was so very lame. Wanted to kill his mum for giving birth to him. Serious. Anyway, this week,I've been a bloody pig. I ate so much sin. Argh. Paranoid about gaining weight. When i mean 'sin', i mean, fast food. I ate I think twice at Long John Silvers' just this week. Both meals, I ate the fish wrap. It had lettuces and tomatoes in it, so it's quite alright. what's not alright was the fact that i ate the fries. do you know that the fries alone are carbs plus fat, thus making the intake of energy almost 500J or maybe more? Omg. I'll never eat fries again. Potatoes for that matter. Potatoes are a evil starch. I still have my 'laxatives'. Ok, folks, dont panic. these laxatives arent really laxatives, but they are sweets actually. the sweets have an ingredient that is also found in laxative pills and if one were to take a lot of the sweets, it will produce a laxative effect. meaning, you'd crap a lot. i think i should stick to this Menu everyday. Breakfast: Bread with Honey Honey water Recess: Watermelon Tadpole syrup Lunch: Bread with some sort of meat filling Ice lemon tea or yong tau foo =) ice lemon tea Dinner: 1/4 plate of Rice with tomatoes and egg. Tea Snack(once every four hours;excluding meals) Tea Sweets A fruit ---- wondering if i have the time to jog everyday. nah, i'll just play volley during recess. ---- everyone i know is anorexic, but they are telling me that i shouldnt be. isnt that like the pot calling the kettle black? sigh, like Azmi said on my tagboard, one tend to not follow advice that oneself gives to others though it would be good for them. Sunday, August 06, 2006, 4:36 PM
I have no idea why, but i think I truely admire Samantha. Maybe i'm just gay, but seriously, despite of not knowing her well enough to judge her, i really like her. Admiration? Let's just say, i love her cool and composed persona(see, i used, persona, meaning, it may not be who she really is inside). She doesnt really over react to out of hand situations. she'd remain calm and in control. seriously, i think, it's a wow factor about her. Maybe it shows maturity or maybe she's just cold and heartless (ok, lol) but i wished that i can be like her, in that sense. basically, i think she's comfortable in her own skin. confident. the way she strikes a pose. hahah. ok, now this is very les. anyway, it'd be nice to not be in touch with your emotions too much. especially right now, where we have prelims and all. SO SAM, DONT TRY TO CHANGE CAUSE I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! =) i'll be going out later at night to meet Jamil. Urgh, i know! so awkward, old flame but he has been bugging me to meet and stupidly i told him that i was free at nite. i have a feeling i'm brainless or sth. that's what my sister tells me anyway. like, i cant get a clue that a guy likes me unless it's plastered smack on his forehead. maybe i'm just naive and innocent. yes, that must be it. I'M INNOCENT. =) anyway, i have to apologize to the many ppl whom i've pinched for the whole of this week. especially TE YENG JIE who had his pale white biceps turned dark yellow because of my pinching. also, to JAN whom i always chase after if Weisiong disturbs me. i have a feeling jan got traumatised. awww. I PROMISE! i'll do again!!! DICKHEADS!!! YOU DISTURB ME ONE MORE TIME! I SWEAR, THAT YOU'D RATHER DIE THAN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR GFS AND YOU'D NEVER GET TO CELEBRATE FATHERS' DAY! the gore of what i'll do to you, you will find out yourself!! , 2:42 AM
Interviewer: Apakah mainan kegemaran anda? Siti Nurhaliza: Saya suke dengan dengan boneka Po-Oh. Interviewer: Po-oh? Siti Nurhaliza: Po-Oh. Beruang yang comel tu. Kartun. IT'S POOH!!!!!!! taken a few months back. new years day. Complaints. All i see on blogs are complaints on how miserable they are with their parents. how much they yearn for freedom. how they wish they get more money. these and all other materialistic desires. satisfaction and contentment?all you care about is you, yourself and yourself. being free, being rich, doesnt make you a happier person. it's how you lead your life. it's your maturity. you have to understand where your folks are coming from. you dont like it? suck up to it. i ever had a friend who was so childish. she yearns for freedom from her parents. very rudely i told her, "Go ahead, see if anyone but your parents who'd care for you any better." i was pretty upset with her more than she was upset with me. to me, she was being a fucking spoilt ingrate. however, she doesnt realise it. she thinks that life is like what you see on tv. that's how naive she is. i see her as very atas, if you know what i mean. she lives in luxury. her own bed. her own room. the princess of the house. but all she sees are what she lacks. she's immature. and head strong. a distasteful combination. she even said that, she'd leave her house the moment she's old enough to do so. she was deserving of a tight slap. ppl somewhere else in this world are dying of hunger. only the strongest will survive. yet, they cherish ever moment of life. seeing a new day break, brings a smile to their faces. ppl like us have everything. we dont need to sneak out for water. no need to beg on the streets. yet we are dissatisfied. what's wrong with us? you want me to forget you, sugar? run me down! amnesia the only way. if not,it's vodka. Saturday, August 05, 2006, 12:45 PM
 -on repeat mode Artist: Funeral For A Friend Title: Roses For The Dead Album: Hours (2005) Just to say we're sorry, For the black eyes and bleeding lips. And it's hard to forget How many lies we've told. Or how old we'd grow, Before I said goodbye. So let's scrape our knees on the playground. It's not your fault, You feel okay. It's too late in the day. It's not your fault, You feel betrayed. You can't come out to play. I never listened to a word you never said. I never listened to a word you never said. Wasting the hours now, We're all suckers for tragedies. And start this over again, And you bring us to our knees. As sunrise comes, And the story will sell, A few hundred papers, So we'll follow you up. It's not your fault, You feel okay. It's too late in the day. It's not your fault, You feel betrayed. You can't come out to play. I never listened to a word you never said. I never listened to a word you never said. So raise your hands up high, And let this rain pour on. So raise your hands up high, And wash us away. Like innocence and childbirth, You look just like your mother And you look just like your father. Forgive him our father, Your son is smiling, So lay roses around you. ----------- tears just seem to easily well up in these eyes. the mention of, "You guys looked perfect for each other. The envy of every couple. The sparks and chemistry you guys had. You guys seem to finish off each other's sentences. Like as if you guys read each other's mind," brimmed my eyes with hot salty tears SHUT UP!!! I KNOW ALL THAT!! SHUT IT!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! , 1:15 AM
 Artist: Amber Pacific Title: Gone So Young Album: The Possibility and The Promise I never dreamt it'd be this way I lost any chance for me to say To say that I miss you, say that I love you Will someone please tell me I'm okay I wasn't prepared for what's to come A life made of memories gone so young And now I'm regretting all I've done But in your heart know that I'm with you all along Wherever you go, I will be waiting Whenever you call, I will be there Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright I'm in your heart tonight I never thought that this could go And take me away from all I know And leave me to think I'm on my own But your love will take me, you were the one... ...Who sat through nights You held me tight And made sure I'm okay And I thank you for the love you gave to me Wherever you go, I will be waiting Whenever you call, I will be there Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright I'm in your heart tonight... Tonight... Wherever you go, I will be waiting Whenever you call, I will be there Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright Wherever you go, I will be waiting Whenever you call, I will be there Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright And if I should fall, I know you're waiting And if I should call, I know you're there If ever you cry just know I'm in your heart tonight... I'm in your heart tonight. ---------- THANKS NAJIB FOR THE IPOD LANDYARD! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN PART YOURSELF WITH SO MUCH. YOU CRAZY ASS. =) Friday, August 04, 2006, 1:56 AM
i was told by Janna M to do this. YOUR TEN FAVOURITES favourite colors: RED+BLACK, PINK, WHITE, GREEN, ORANGE favourite food: FISH AND CHIPS? favourite movie: JUST LIKE HEAVEN favourite sport: INLINE-SKATING favourite season: SUMMER favourite ice-cream flavours: PEPPERMINT, VANILLA, COOKIE DOUGH favourite country: THAILAND favourite thing: MY IPOD NANO YOUR NINE CURRENTS current mood: HYSTERIA current clothes: SURF PANTS AND SLEEVELESS TOP current desktop: BLACK current toe nails: PINK WITH STARS current time: 0155 current annoyance: MYSELF current thoughts: SCREW FURBY current songs: PRESSURE BY PARAMORE YOUR EIGHT FIRST first boyfriend: JAMIL first crush: AHMAD SYARIF first movie: CANT REMEMBER first piercing: WHEN I WAS 5 first lie: I DON'T LIE =p first music: AKU CINTA PADA MU BY SITI NURHALIZA first cry: 01 MAY 1990 YOUR SIX LAST last drink: COFFEE last crush: WON'T SAY last movie seen: NACHO LIBRE last phone call: TWO DAYS BACK? last cd played: NAJIB'S COMPILATION OF SONGS FIVE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING : EARSTICK BRACELET RUBBERBAN MY TOP MY PANTS ..... FOUR THINGS YOU HAVE DONE TODAY: WATCHED TV PLAYED THE COM BATHED STUDIED FOR BIO THREE THINGS YOU HEAR RIGHT NOW: THE KEYBOARD THE FAN THE WIND TWO THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT: LOVE MY IPOD NANO ONE THING I DO WHEN IM BORED: SLEEP WHO I WANT TO DO THIS: NOONE!!! ------------------------- Ever since March, i feel that i have changed. I dunno. I just dont feel as comfortable as before. It was in March when I've started dieting intensely. I think i have grown more self-conscious. Like, i'm overly sensitive. Last time, i took criticism very lightly, if not, i'd get very angry at that person and show a lot of attitude. Now, when I'm called names, i get very offended. It made me feel less human or sth. Like, if you were to say i'm ugly, I'd take it very personally. and ever since that, i'd find myself scrutinising the mirror for hours on end, looking for something to be unhappy about. For example, today, i was told by my dad that i had dirty blood because i have more pimples than usual on my back. The sane side of me will tell myself that it's normal because i'm pretty stressed out. But the zoinked side of my head will overeact. And immediately after he said that, i bought a new bottle of body foam and all the insanely healthy things to get rid of the pimples. Maybe i'm just being paranoid. or i have just lost confidence. This change gets me so upset easily. This change, wants me to be utterly perfect. and i find it unrealistic,yet, i still wanna strive for it. i envy so many ppl but ppl are the ones envying me. i dont understand. i have nothing. i cant play a single instrument (ok, maybe the recorder) i cant sing (but you liars say i that i can) i cant study i am stupid i am not perfect plus i'm mean and i make ppl cry what's there to envy about? Wednesday, August 02, 2006, 8:10 PM
 Artist: Paramore Title: Pressure Album: All We Know Is Falling ROCK CHICKS ARE SUCH A TURN ON!!! , 6:13 PM
I am very stressed out. Shit these tears. I wont say more. Like i said, this blog has gone less personal. Watched this to cheer myself up. well. i tried. South Park - The Death of Eric Cartman it's perverted. it doesnt cheer me up. watch it if you want. , 2:09 PM
Ok, I was out after school in search of the ever so illusive SCIENCE PHYSICS AND CHEM FIVE YEAR SERIES. God. I went to Compass Point, Hougang Mall, Bishan, Toa Payoh. KAU!! OUT OF STOCK. And when i asked the dude at the service counter at ToaPayoh's POPULAR, we found out that only 3 of the POPULARs in this entire country has it in stock. LIKE, WTH. And when we eventually did find the goddamn forsaken book at North Point, I immediately kissed the freaking thing and i went into a state of hysteria. Yes, it's absolutely normal for me to laugh at myself. i think you ppl who know me well would laugh along or made dumb comments of me laughing so loudly, however, Najib found it totally uncalled for and just stood there rooted, dumbfounded with his jaw dropped. I mean, he wont know how i felt, so he wouldnt understand my pain and agony and my relief. HE FOUND HIS FIVE YEAR SERIES AT OUR VERY FIRST DESTINATION (which was bishan). so he stood there, stupified, wondering if i had gotten possessed by the roaming spirits of this month. anyway, Najib took this pictures on our way there. In the MRT, this kid, so innocent on the floor.  HE SHOULD HAVE STAYED ON THE FLOOR.  =) Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 11:08 AM
"No wonder Outram Park Station so smelly!!! Got so many black people!" blurted a Chinese man clinging on to his son. My jaw dropped and I stopped walking and turned to face the man. Then, he repeated what he said; again, loudly- when i mean loud, i mean loud, i had my Nano turned on at full blast; making eye contact with a few Indian workers. If his kid wasnt there, i have a feeling the Indian guys would give a hell out of a beating to the scrunny old man. The whole entire thing was so darn appaulling. I seriously thought i was HEARing things. Like, since when does your skin color determines one's BO? Firstly, who the heck is he to make such a passing remark? So he being Chinese, makes him a lot better and cleaner than of the Indian guys la? Before you even answer that, let's ask the bloody the man this question ever-so-casually, like he did to the Indian guys,"Where did SARS actaully originated from, dear Sir?" or say,"I'm utterly baffled. Didn't the pandemic flu now started from the place of your ancestors origin? What makes them any less cleaner than you?" I never knew being of a different color makes one any less HUMAN or in this case, any less hygienic. So skin color determines who you are in life, is it now? since it is said that indians are smelly, let's have the steorotype thinking that Malays are lazy, Chinese are gamblers and Eurasians are arrogant. So this whole entire situation kinda totally explains to why Miss Japan lost the crown to the bimbotic Miss Pueterico, does it? Saran's indian, does he smell like he hasnt bathed for two years, no. Rikesh's Indian, and he has a peachy aftershave. Prem's indian, he smells of Adidas deoderant. Shafiq's dark, does he look any less human to you? Oh wait, wrong example, Shafiq does look out of this world =) ok, jk. and after making that clear to everyone, i can finally, breathE. I FEEL GODDAMN FAT. anyway, bought myself a bracelet. I WANT MORE!! more accessoriess. i love my box of trinkets. saving for tops and another surf pants. ROXY ones, i guess. I CANT STAND MYSELF! I'M SUCH A SUCKER FOR NICE GUYS. |
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