i can keep a secret
if you can keep me guessing
the flavour of your lips
is enough to keep me pressing
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 2:35 PM
 Been hanging out with Jassica quite a bit. It's 2 and I'm pretty wearied.  Later I'll be practicing again, with Jan and Razin for our performance. Damn, we had very little practice come to think of it. Sigh, I'm so busy. And no, I am not going to spill out what songs we will be performing. Just a clue, to keep you guys at cliffhangers', we would be doing acoustic renditions of popular radio friendlies, and most of our songs we require a duet. Stick around after school at NV and check out the Rockfest then. Or maybe not, cause I might cry of anxiety. HAHA. Joke. Vincete is so funny. =) Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: no soulja boy Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: nooo a small spark Vs. a great forest says: LISTEN Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: no a small spark Vs. a great forest says: plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: cries Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: =( a small spark Vs. a great forest says: see myface a small spark Vs. a great forest says:  a small spark Vs. a great forest says: LOL!!!! Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: WTF Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: HAHAHAHAH Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: you made me laugh for real a small spark Vs. a great forest says: HAAHAHA Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: hahaa Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: god 1/29/2008 5:06:31 PM a small spark Vs. a great forest sends Soulja Boy Tell'em - Crank That.mp3 a small spark Vs. a great forest says: TAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: sigh Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: must i? a small spark Vs. a great forest says: lesson ends at 5 a small spark Vs. a great forest says: yesssss a small spark Vs. a great forest says: coz i gave the priceless face a small spark Vs. a great forest says: WAHAHAHA Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: out of love and friendship Vicente Sypongco Junior said that I'm uncool says: sigh a small spark Vs. a great forest says: hahahaahahaha a small spark Vs. a great forest says: sweetttttttttttt a small spark Vs. a great forest says: fa shez a small spark Vs. a great forest says: k cya siti a small spark Vs. a great forest says: ima bounce a small spark Vs. a great forest says: bye a small spark Vs. a great forest says: peeace OUT~ a small spark Vs. a great forest says: TOPAC FOREVA! I'm easily amused. Haha. He's so lame. Fa shez? Bounce? Tupac? It's so I swear, I miss you. Why is it that you have to sweep me off my feet? It hurts. =( You got me thinking of you almost everyday. I feel like such a loser being the one craving for only your attention but not getting it. Maybe it's because I refrain myself from letting you think that I'm actually interested. I don't even know what you think of me. I dare not ask. Just as long as you know, your smile can make the world stand still. I was hopeful. cause i wanna hear the thunder Sunday, January 27, 2008, 8:36 PM
You steal my heart and curse under your breath  Once again, your words haunts my subconscious mind. Again, I fail to comprehend. I think it's the problem of having many male friends, or male best friends even. I'm not afraid of what society would think of me being surrounded by boys all the time, because I still believe it's subjective. However, what I'm more concerned about is the amount of trust I put into them that I fail to see that they are still boys and I still refuse to believe that boys would never think of sleeping or snogging with their friends. And when that happens, guilt or the devastation of being used like any old doll sets in. Boys will be boys, they say. While lying is the best thing a girl can do without taking her clothes off. His face got closer to mine. I feel his breath near my mouth. Our lips touched. Hello lust. I feel that I'm going to get my heart broken again. I just can sense it. Because I always want what I can't have. I never liked Bollywood. I cannot tolerate sitting in front of a screen for about three hours to watch a sappy tale of lovers fighting and - GOD- dancing. However, this song rocks. HAHAHA. My favourite song at SSC. It makes me want to work faster. it signifies the coming end of the night AND the guest would leave SOOONNNNN. Bless you Shah Rukh Khan for being the genius behind this song. Meeting Charles and Jess up later at night. I got up at like 6 in the afternoon as after work ends at like 3am, I met up with my friend at East Coast. Date? Nah. Cliche. But nonetheless, breath taking. After which, at like 8am in the morning, I met up with Jess as she was pretty depressed. Ahhhh. Dejavu all over again. I knew that you won't love me in the morning Friday, January 25, 2008, 12:10 PM
 To Write Love on Her Arms is a work in progress. This began with one broken girl, one painful night; addiction, depression, cutting. This is a glimpse at the five days that followed, a decision to love and to begin telling her true story. To Write Love on Her Arms is becoming something bigger, something hopeful. It's the realization of what life can be when we commit to meeting a need. A friend of mine told me there's no such thing as suicide prevention. This is an attempt to prove him wrong, to say that love can change a life. We can hold back the darkness. Rescue is possible. More soon to come. Join us as we continue to write this story, and as we begin to offer hope to the many hopeless who walk these dark roads. A Jimmy Eat World lyric has been stuck in my head today, "Believe your voice can mean something." I'm getting their t shirt hopefully. I mean, it's an awesome tee shirt! I NEED A PAIR OF JEANS. -_- My mother has promised to buy me a Guess wallet, but I've got my eyes on other brands. Tsk. I want money. Cause I cannot wait for Panic! At the Disco's PRETTY.ODD. album. =D bigbeatttt Vocal lessons was so good. Had Jan and Razinator along for pitching and to practice the songs we will be playing for Rockfest. Dear lord, it's less than a month to the real thing and I'm getting all jittery inside. Kill me. Reached home at 12 and I waited for Faiz to come over at my roof garden before we were joined by NFBFs, Jes, and Charles. Charles is freaking hot btw. Chilled, they treated us to drinks which we were reluctant to accept. Life saver she was as me and Faiz have yet to have a drink since about two weeks. Laughed out loud to Jes' antics. She kinda brought us back down to earth with her sappy love life. I don't mean to insult lah, but it was sappy. It was so Siti-ish. She's doing the craziest things because she's love sick. She's a sweet gal, but I do feel that she's gotta let go sometime, one day. I don't like people who contradict themselves so often that it comes to a point that the person had made a complete fool out of themselves. It's hilarious to think of the irony of the person vowing to the likes of everyone not to be like so-and-so but the person has become a living duplicate a.k.a copy cat of the person discriminated. You're a mockery. I never had ever had anything bad to say about you, not because I thought you were angelic or anything like that for the matter, because for one, who the fuck am I to judge you or even bitch about you? I don't know you at all, unless it's the latest gossip or rumour that has got the net buzzing and the instant messaging popping. Like Gossip Girl. I don't even THINK of wanting to speak ill of you because there isn't a need to. For what I feel and know, you don't cross my path, I won't cross yours. But lately, or often, I feel my instincts get the better of me for what I hear of people talking about you- well, not that you're actually the most hip and happening thing lah. but with a mouth as big as yours, there tend to be people talking about you and how fake you are and how delusional you are in thinking on how nice you think you are- and how much you ridicule yourself by trying to be a better of me. I don't know why you even do what you do or even say about me because I don't think it is really any of your business. Maybe you do it out of spite and a probable jealousy, but come on, you can't win them all. Your desperation to be more popular than I am. I don't do things for attention, I just happen to get it. How many people do you know and how many do you hang out with? What is it do you even know about the world or people for that matter? I don't really care about what my best friend was in his/her past. The way they treat me and others now matters more and that's all I have to worry and treasure about. =D There isn't anything extraordinary about me for there is nothing to comprehend. I'm just the way I am and I like it that way. Understand that I'm just as lost and confused as you are. You are willing to make this huge, drastic and probably regrettable risks by wanting me, but I am not as willing to take that giant leap from the past to present time just to be with you. I cannot. You may think this are really big excuses just to escape the word 'rejection', but it's really what I feel and what I want for I'm not ready for anything more serious than this.  Thursday, January 24, 2008, 1:52 AM
 Well, there's a million other girls who do it just like you, Sickening. Fucking sickening. You are exactly like how most Singaporean adults tell me about fillipino girls; they're gold digging sluts like you. If you sincerely don't like him, don't use him! Jan and Razin, sorry for yesterday afternoon. Something came up. =( My gf is so random. JM is just so fucking random. -_- There JM, I kept my promise. =D (12:35 AM) last night's goo: if you dont mind (12:35 AM) last night's goo: maybe you can blog in your blog that Synyster Gates has found his soulmate,Hua Jia Min,18,singaporean (12:35 AM) last night's goo: thank you. (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: FINE (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: i will (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: -__- (12:36 AM) last night's goo: WOOHOO (12:36 AM) last night's goo: SERIOUS? (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: -___- (12:36 AM) last night's goo: im going to check your blog EVERYDAY (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: -_- (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: -_- (12:36 AM) last night's goo: you better not lie and break my fragile heart. (12:36 AM) The One Lost Whe: HAHAHAHHA (12:36 AM) last night's goo: my heart = his heart (12:37 AM) The One Lost Whe: case sensitive (12:37 AM) last night's goo: you break mine = 2 people die (12:37 AM) The One Lost Whe: LOL (12:37 AM) The One Lost Whe: you got a funny brain (12:37 AM) last night's goo: -.- you better keep your promise (12:39 AM) The One Lost Whe: sure JM, I MISS YOU. I miss the whole lot of you. and OJW, I wished I could have told you I love you too and I am sorry. But you dont read my blog anyway. HAHAHA. Tuesday, January 22, 2008, 11:43 PM
 Jammed with Cauterized-Sins yesterday at Boon's. I enjoyed it really much. How can I not anyway? Best friends for like years already. Decided to mellow out the thing with acoustic numbers since Premnath said that playing Have A Nice Day with just one crash won't sound good, plus the guys ain't happy with the idea of using our own amps. Ahh. The purity of the melody of the guitars just turns me on. Seriously, I love jamming with these guys. And I don't know why. It's something that CS have that Tainted Rosette doesn't. Something that Tainted Rosette lacks. I got a feeling it's confidence. I hope that I'd be able to jam with them more often. I can actually get to sings songs that I love. Songs by RJA, BLG, The Wonders, DLD, Flyleaf, Paramore =D (due to Razin's support for Misery Business). I've been thinking of getting green/grey/purple contact lenses. Dione looks great with purple eyes, while, I feel most malays who have the olive coloured skin like mine, would actually look good with grey or green. I'll get them tomorrow morning, I suppose.  OKAY. Cutest baby alive. REALLY. LOOK AT THAT.!!! So effing adorable. I feel like munching on those cheeks and digging out those eyes. GERAMM. Dear god, his voice is so sexy. I feel like pouncing on him. .jpg) I mean, JUST LOOK AT HIM. Hot. Alex Band is just so hot. Seriously, why are all the hot guys in the world aren't Asian? And no, don't tell me on how the Northern Indians are,though it is true, I just have enough of them at SSC. Plus, I might get lost in their hair. HAHHAHA. Sometimes I feel really inferior being Asian though I know there is nothing to be ashamed about. For one, the height difference is really depressing. A 15 year old Caucasian would probably have sprouted a menacing 160cm with bust sizes of a probable 38B, while her I am, dwarfed and with little bumps on my chest. I'm wondering why God made them the superior race in terms of looks. Like, they have pretty skin and L'Oreal shampoo advertisement worthy locks of blonde. All the beautiful people are from the West. Even Asian porn stars look like as if they got Down-syndrome compared to the Causasians. I'm really asking myself to why we are so enticed to Western influence when we, Asians, are brimming with culture. Western power....... Because if I could put my thoughts about you across the sheet with ink, I'd stop before I could even start cause there was never wasn't even a start to begin with Monday, January 21, 2008, 11:01 AM
 The Wonders Of Make Up I'm up bright and early this morning. I've once again messed up my body clock due to late nights of working. Explains the panda eyes. Urgh. I have jamming later at six and I've got the entire afternoon to either sleep or learn the songs. Sigh. I guess I'll call Jan and Faiz up. I'm feeling particularly lazy. =\ AND I'M HUNGRY. My lord. I'm really hungry. My stomach's grumbling. You know, after working so long in SSC, probably reaching a year, I've come to a conclusion on how stingy rich people are. My aunt who is getting married at the end of this month is a fine example, but according to my mother- who sees the good in people, says that my aunt has a reason for that. I couldn't care less what her reason is as she had refused to give me money for the bus back to SG. Yes, I'm side tracking, but really now, I thought the misers are those with very little money to even begin with. Turns out, it's the other way around. What more, they don't even count how much you owe them. In fact, they don't even take it to consideration at all. I really admire these people lah. Anyway, these rich folks who dine at SSC, would shamelessly demand a discount as the believe, 'service was not up to standard'. More of like an excuse. Imagine, VIP plated service, and you see the VIPs rushing towards the buffet line even when you sweetly told them of the unnecessity of doing so. They INSISTED on taking the food themselves for the probable fear of not having enough food- which is statistically untrue as less than half of their guests turned up for the wedding. NOW YOU SEE IT! The food wastage was bleeding a lot. If I were the host, I would want a discount, no doubt, seeing the utter embarrassment of the night, where more than half of the invited didn't show for their wedding. I think there's some internal war between the two families. And when they insisted on taking themselves, what can I do? I wished I could have tied them to their chairs. Really. I'm sorry, I just can't help to complain once in a while. FYI, I'm really pissed off. Bleeding iTUNES won't start. FUCK. APPLE has something against me this year, I can swear to that. First I don't know where my sister or her bf have carelessly left my iPod Nano(I swear to god, I never touched my iPod for about five months now since I spoilt the ear piece). NOW iTUNES is fucking me up. FUCK. I AM ANNOYED. So fucking annoyed. And Facebook.com is getting on my nerves. REALLY. Urgh. I feel like beating the crap out of something. OR SOMEONE. Preferably someone who is utterly delusional, and goes about whining,"I hope Marzuq stops liking me." HAHA. Ya, it's two weeks old news, but it's still effing annoying. Fuck a suck. i fell in love with the 8th world wonder Sunday, January 20, 2008, 12:24 PM
 Liyana badgered me for an update because according to her, not updating since Friday, is probably a really long period of time. -_- Here's post for you then. So, I'm shagged. Just got back from prawning at Lakeside Fishing Pond, with Euguene, Ivan, Quihui, Zachary, Wenlong and Weixin. Caught a handful of them and then we bbq them for breakfast. Saltiest prawns ever. -_- Just imagine all of us working from 5 to 4am then heading down to Lakeside from TJR and hanging out there from about 5 to 8. Anyway, I got the chance to talk to newbie, Zachary. Broke the ice with him instantly with this most random topic of homosexuality. I have to admit, I started that conversation by doubting certain people's orientation because of the way they act. I was as usual, checking out code name 'Korean singer', and commenting on how hot he looks and then adding the part of me doubting his sexuality. It was hilarious. I mean, SERIOUSLY, in this day and age, you can never tell who is gay and who isn't. Girls like me, hopes get dashed to the point of not wanting to even look more than three times at hot guys. Because there is this hypothesis that 'all the hot guys are either attached or gay'. Note to self: Stop staring at Korean singer. Yes, he's got the dreamiest look in his eyes, but still, stop staring. It's rude and it says you're desperate.  Why can't you ppl understand the state of confusion I am in right now? Please understand that I don't believe in a happily ever after nor do I believe in the practicality of the whole idea of jumping into a r/s out of the bleeding blue, just because of a certain incident a week ago. For one, WE WERE HIGH. For another, that wasn't supposed to happen though I did think of it, and my mind just did it, without my consent. LOL. Yes, that incident was a turning point; it unlocked potential possibilities. I can't just merrily accept things that I have doubts for. Is it really feasible? Talk with the heart. My heart says I want a cheese burger, CAN YOU GET THAT? NO. Yes, I know what it means to love, but I don't believe that you need to get into a r/s just because of love. Love has brought about many catastrophes in the past, written in black and white in history books itself. War came about because of love. Soldiers bleeding and dying for the forbidden love of Paris and Helen of Troy. A great nation fell because of this silly little thing. How can I simply let my heart and yours be vulnerable to that much of a hurt love can bring? I have this philosophy that I picked up from Gab; Your soul-mate does not necessarily be someone who was ever a r/s with you of any kind-your bf/gf/husband/wife. They are there and you know it too. Anyway, I want to go to Oman next two weeks for my aunt is getting married again there. Hhaha. I hope I can go. I need a break from SG man. Don't get me wrong, I love SG, it's just that, going to some place new for a change is a breath of fresh air =D OK, i'm tired. I'll be sleeping now. =D because this attraction is unbearable Friday, January 18, 2008, 5:28 AM
I'm such a pussy. :( I always thought that if you knew what pain felt like and that you've felt it so many times before, you'd get be emotionally numb towards this thing called pain. Invincible and unafraid, you look pain in the eye, until you realize the throbbing ache in your chest. Before you even realise it, you're crying in agony. How sad that we've become such broken and fragile things. The pain stings at a familiar scale of 8. The kind where you just sat down, have those tears roll and the emptiness of your ever soul as if it's been ripped apart, shattered and shred. flirting 101 HOW GIRLS FLIRT/; Message: 1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.[OMG, THAT IS FUCKING TRUE] 2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. [UNFUCKING TRUE] 3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.[Yeah, like real] 4. She touches your arm when she talks to you. [No] 5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face. [OK, true] 6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested. [There is some truth in this] 7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you. 8. She criticizes you on a girl you like. [I'm mean but I'm not bitchy. I don't really do that] 9. You catch her staring at you. [blush] 10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you. [i put make up for myself] 11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot. [Ya...] 12. She knows your phone number and address. [I'M NOT A STALKER ] 13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible [ -_-] HOW GUYS FLIRT: 1. He stares at you alot. [WAH!! Then Korean boy should continue staring!!!] 2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting ) [shrugs] 3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you [Ya] 4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mOm that day she picked you up from school. [NO] 5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone. [Ya lah, but I WON'T WATCH BROWN SUGAR. SO GAY] 6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process [got so sweet meh?] 7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk. [no] 8. You hung up on him. He called you back. [shrugs] 9. You were invited by him to a group outing. [no, guys are possessive] 10. He called you to talk about nothing at all. [ -_- ] 11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder... [ -_- ] 12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation [sigh, yes] 13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes. [sheesh, stop it.] 14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.) [lol] LOOK AT HOW MUCH I WANT TO KILL MY BROTHER!!! He's so cute. GALACTIC KICK!! scribbled out the truth with lies Thursday, January 17, 2008, 12:20 AM
 I'm freaking out as usual. WE HAVEN'T FOUND A DRUMMER. The story goes at first by just making it a two man acoustic band with me as vocals but after a discussion of fantasies and dreams, we decided to have a five man band. Which brings us to usual problem of a drummer. Then it occurred to us that the songs we are to play have to be within my range, songs that are isn't insulting to the guitarists abilities and songs that are of a similar tuning. THAT'S BEING IN A BAND, BITCHES. -_- sigh. Of course it freaks me out more due to the fact that we'll be playing in NV. Audiences are people who we generally know. And that's pressurising. Razin fears of a screw up. All of us do. Faiz pledged to leave the band if we mess up big time. And I vow to die if I throw the whole thing away. I wanted CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH however, another band, to my utter shock and demise, are already set to play it. Which got me CRANKY cause of my possessiveness over Paramore and that I was the first one in NV to ever hear of them. I'm such a bitch. Sigh. Once again, we have to experiment on the songs we've picked with the limited time that we have. And yes, I'm covering for the vox for Cauterized Sins for they are my Secondary School mates anyway.=] designer drugs and designer friends says: I don't know why, but ever since our fall out, I get this desire to always talk back at you. For I see your views are so narrow or my perception of you have just changed. Or I just love a good argument. Nah, I just love a good argument. BTW, BUY THIS WEEK'S EDITION OF 8DAYS!! Deal or No Deal Hunks are more than eye candies. HOT STUFF. I decided that this skin is much neater. Though I have a feeling that I will revert it back again. -_-  The thing about you is that i can never figure out what's in your head. You're like an overdrive. I SO WANT YOU cause I know I can't. Wednesday, January 16, 2008, 3:00 AM
 I found this on Nicholas' blog. Yes, it was revived.  And it got me thinking, WTF IS ITALIAN CHANDELIER? I thought Shafiq and Jan were the clear experts, but they never once mentioned anything Italian. So I did research- for I was bored and curious and unfortunately, not horny. -http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/chanposakait.html  Really now, the picture wasn't as vivid as I thought I would be. Without reading the above quote, I wouldn't have guessed whether it was a guy or a girl on top. Still, I'm pretty unclear about what it is. So I decided not to dwell into the matter. I'm sure Shafiq and Jan's fingers will be pulsing on the mouse right now, to further investigate about what Italian Chandelier is. Can you see? Clearly, there is something with Click Five and naming their songs after girls. The songs become a hit and I've grown an addiction to their calming melodies of the guitars and keyboards. Come to think of it, songs named after a girl usually turn out nice. Like, Isabella by Search, Rindiani by Zamani Slam, Sephia by Sheila on 7, and Emily by From First To Last. And all you ever wanted me to do was to see things through your eyes. Have you ever thought what it's like to see through mine? I'm blamed to be in doubt? You couldn't even accept that I've changed. FOR THE RECORD, I didn't change. Cause I've always had been intolerable and I only show it to you cause I was comfortable with you. With you, I thought I could be myself without being awkward. I never changed that time. I've always been uneasy to please. You wouldn't know that cause you were never me. You only assumed that I was this innocent brat who so pure. Did you see me as brain dead or unnervingly daft?? You don't want me. Cause if you were so sure, you wouldn't use that "Don't change your mind" theory on me. this question isn't rhetorical Tuesday, January 15, 2008, 2:45 AM
 Holy fuck. Pete Wentz is so fucking hot. Omfg. He really should break up with Ashlee Simpson, the woman can't sing even if her life was at stake. Why can't I meet people like him along the streets? Sigh. Sounds wrong. It's like finding for a toy boy. And I think Pete Wentz looks emo. Wtf. Sigh. I'm feeling rather bitchy, probably due to my raging hormones- yes, it's that time of the month, which has been going on since 6 days ago, yet, I'm still bleeding in my pants. ARGH. Ever had people copy you? Doing the exact same things that you do? Blogging words so identical to yours that you wished you had the power to copyright the entire English dictionary. I don't like copycats. Cut the same hairstyle, same words and phrases in her blog, the sudden outrage of insanity to not eating chicken. If I had her picture, it will obviously be defamed here already. bitch. Ok, maybe the hair and word thingy is quite an accusation because for one, I don't have the magic fingers to invent that hairstyle. And I don't get epiphanies much to come up with really cool quotes all the time, but I think to copy my believes and lifestyle is just way too much. Removing a staple diet just because you think, Pescetarianism, being part of a practice is cool. It's like a trend now to exclude a certain food, is it? Why not make it a religion? Ouh yes, do you know that technology these days are just so so advanced that you can actually choose your preference method of communication.You can call, write messages via mail, sms, and FRIENDSTER TESTIMONIALS. I never knew ANYONE would write a really long sappy tale about their really PRIVATE life, in a Friendster testimonial. Ouh, but they do. Click on the picture to enlarge. Amusing really.  I always had thought that Friendster comments was to COMMENT on the person you are writing to. And not an entire anecdote about how sad you are. We have blogs and emails, and MSN for that. And in case you are wondering, yes, it's the same girl who made a huge huha about a necklace. Fucking liar. Ouh, I never bothered about her really. I just enjoy doing defaming her when I get the chance and excuse. "Hi ! WOW, she can repair the damages inflicted. She heals!! Why do I not like her at all? Well, she's a two faced snake. She talks about forgiveness and acts all holy with the probable five times a day prayer, and she acted like that over a necklace. I thought God taught us that earthly possessions are always replaceable? And she honestly think that I give a shit about her studies and her damn glory of making her parents proud. I don't even know you! It's really not me, all this bitchy business. Lol. I was thinking of an inside joke while typing that down. lol  I'm seriously packed this week. Tuesday's vocal lessons. Wednesday, a probable jamming session with Jan. Thursday all the way to Sunday, I'll be at SSC. $$$!!! I'm so broke. I bought my fourth pair of shoe between December and January after jamming on Sunday. OMFG. I'm an addict. I should list the things I need so I will not overspend.
you were the one who sat through nights Sunday, January 13, 2008, 10:50 PM
why get emotional when you can just get physical?  I've hit rock bottom. I've just added another reason to why I'm not worthy of anyone. LUST - I was talking to a certain someone online. I swear, I felt that I was flirting. However, he, being the clueless and utterly cute idiot that he is, doesn't realise it and felt that me making fun of him was a hobby. Sigh, I've always been flirty towards him and he thinks it's a tease. Do you realize you could SO have me? DO YOU? SLOTH - I've been a real slob. I refuse to get out of my room to actually shower. And I had to drag myself out of bed to bathe so that I'll meet Dai Wei, Ivan and Xiang Nan for the movie yesterday. GLUTTONY - I've been such a pig. I devour practically everything that I would eat, especially at night. Oh lord. I'm getting so fat.I wish I wouldn't gorge those sinful carbs. Bleeding hell, I think my immune system is so fucked up. If I binge, I'll get dizzy spells because of the high glucose levels in the body. And if I eat very little, I'll faint because of my low blood pressure. CCB. God, you hate me. ANGER - I got mad at a certain group of people because of a few unsettled issues which I really don't feel like talking about. ENVY - I fucking want a petite body like them Chinese girls. I really want to kill them. CCB. They are genetically small. Why is it not registered in my DNA to be small and not SHORT and fat. argh. Another reason to why I am going to find a Chinese husband; so that my cubs will be cute and crushable. Yes, I like Ang Mohs, but I wouldn't want to be a mother of a giantess/giant. GREED - I bought a lot of bags and shirts lately. More shirts than my body is capable of holding in a week. I also feel like kidnapping that certain someone and tying him to my bed so that I can hug the shit out of him every night. GOD, THAT IS LUST. PRIDE- I refuse to remove or edit the post on SHAFIQ PEEING BESIDE THE VENDING MACHINE for I have too much of an ego that I really cannot minimise for if I do, the blog statistic may just plunge and I won't get my money. 1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? - I'm a virgin! YOU FUCKING LIAR! 2 . Do you trust all of your friends? - a few 3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? - Well, yeah. 4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? - yes. 5. Can you make a dollar in change right now? - wtf do you mean 6 . Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? - me. LOL 7. Are you afraid of falling in love? - yes 9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? - yes. 10. Whats your most favorite car? - dunno 11. When was the last time you flew in a plane? - very long ago man 12. What did the last text message you sent say? - she didn't say anything TO JAN 13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex? - EYES 14. Fill in the blank. I love: - MY FRIENDS. 15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future? - get a diploma and get a life. 16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call? - family lor 17. How many kids do you want to have? - 1 or 2.. 18. Would you make a good parent? - nah. my husband will be. lol 19. Where was your default picture taken? - in the bus 20. Whats your middle name? - siti "gorgeous" hamidah. LOL LOL 21. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? - I FEEL LIKE TAKING A PISS 22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? - i'm contented 23. Who was or will be the maid of honor best man in your wedding? - my sister lor 24. What are you wearing right now? - shirt and pants 25. Righty or Lefty? - righty 26. Best place to eat? - Banquet at AMK 27. Favorite colour? - red 28. Favorite animal? - cat 29. Favorite juice? - lime 30. Have you had the chicken pox? - sigh. yes. 31. Have you had a sore throat? - Do I look like God to you? 32. Ever had a bar fight? - nope. I'm innocent. STOP LAUGHING JAN! 33. Who knows you the best? - faiz, jan 34. Shoe size? - 5 and a half.. 35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? - both 36. Ever been in a fight with your pet? - God, I can't imagine fighting with my hamster last time. I would have stepped on it out of anger. 37. Been to Mexico? - You are asking me if I've been to one of the most corrupted countries in the world? 38 . Did you buy something today? - yes, lime juice. ^^ 39. Did you get sick today? - nope. but my brother is 40. Do you miss someone today? - yeah 41. Did you get in a fight with someone today? - i'm fighting my internal demons everyday 42. When is the last time you had a massage? - very long ago 43. Last person to lay in your bed - my brother is in bed with me! frreakking wussy. he is like nine and he needs me to sleep. but still, it's pretty sweet that he did. 44. Last person to see you cry - can't recall the last time i cried. 45. Who made you cry? - the world. it hates me. 46. What was the last TV show you watched? - today. HOUSE. =D 47 . What are your plans for the weekend? - met ivan, daiwei and xiangnan for a movie and after that i can barely recall. jamming with the usuals. 48. Who do you think will repost this? - -------------- 49. Who was the last person you hang out with? - jan and shafiq again. 50. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say? - bitch. Friday, January 11, 2008, 11:40 PM
 I'm regretting the fact that I cut my hair. I know. I always cut my hair. However, this time, I really wished that I hadn't cut my hair. Bleah. Horrible. I've been dreaming of many of my friends of late. Recently, of what I remembered was that I dreamt of Shafiq, one of my closest friends, and Vicente, whom I've got a little crush on- of course I dare to say this now cause, hey, I'm no longer in NP!- of both I found really hilarious. Of course, it doesn't take a genius to know that the dream involving Shafiq was hands down funnier. I woke up smiling silly. So this what happened in the dream; Me and Fiq met up first to go for our usual slacking session at Punggol. For some reason, I met up with him first despite the fact that I LIVE IN PUNGGOL whereas Fiq lives in Hougang. Anyway, yeah, we were waiting for the bus to go meet Jan somewhere near his place. While waiting for the bus, three white guys approached us and were making fun of Fiq who in the dream was wearing a Man-U jersey. YES, I know now that he's not a Man-U fan, but what the hell, it's after all a dream. So, I stood up for the noob Fiq who was getting all the slander from the three white guys by saying, "Wtf is your problem? Just because he's a MANU fan? Come off it!" One of them replied with a smirk,"We're okay with MANU fans, we just don't like them black." Insulted and annoyed, I gave the bastard a punch in the nose and it bled. Like seriously Shafiq, even in dreams, you get bullied! You're so pussy, Shafiq. But you're a great friend. =) Last time, I found that wearing make up was not mandatory until recently where I cannot possibly feel any more awkward without having the basic foundation, eye liner and blusher when I go anywhere further than Hougang. God, I've never felt more bimbotic than ever. I miss you lahhhh. =( I put my faith in you, so much faith And then you just threw it away Thursday, January 10, 2008, 12:44 AM
 The facade of your silver silhouette mirrors everything that is nothing more than a memory lost with time. I'm tired of being everyone's enemy because of you. Shots of disapproval. Because it matters what people think of me. Because it really fucking matters when they put the past into account on how to treat me in the present. Because it matters when it's the people who you spend all day with. Because I'm only beginning be accepted and by being with you is every thing but acceptance. "So wtf you're doing with her again?" Yeah, I saw that look when we bumped into Adrian Tan. Half of the world cannot be wrong. So many people cannot be wrong. It's easy to say that it doesn't matter of what other people think of you, it's how you think of yourself. But really, if you think of yourself, you cannot possibly survive in this world of hate.  So, who is the mother of this child? Because I swear, this is probably the cutest kid in town. Like hell, I got it from somebody's webby. I just forgot who. Probably a relative's, if not I wouldn't have taken it. However, if by mistake it's not a relative's then, I sincerely apologize but I suppose I cannot resist to steal. BLOODY SHIT, JUST LOOK AT THOSE EYES! Vox lessons was seriously demanding. My soundman is pitch perfect and he is so hard on me. In fact, he's much fiercer than my coach himself. I'm terrified. Really, I am. Probably, I'm tone deaf. lol Wednesday, January 09, 2008, 2:31 AM
 I know how to say "No" Like seriously, I do know how to reject people whom I am genuinely not interested in. I don't go beat and dance around the bush. However, I don't tell it as blatantly as I hope I would because I do not wish to hurt anyone. Of course there is no easy way of saying it. Anyway, someone texted me out of the bleeding blue and asked if he and I could be together. OMG MY FARKING GOD. For one, it's creepy and for another, IT'S FREAKY. enough said.  Slacked again with the usuals around my place again. Shafiq couldn't come this time. How sad. He has taken ill, I've heard. It must be from the fact that he took a piss beside the vending machine in Punggol and that the spirit of the machine got so it cursed him. Ah. You know all this is crap. I'm just messing with his life by telling the 500 readers who reads www.saintjuliet.blogspot.com that Shafiq took a piss right beside a vending machine in Punggol. Like, for the love of God, he could have walked a bit further down to pee. He chose A VENDING MACHINE. A VENDING MACHINE THAT DISPENSES DRINKS. Really, if it was really private, I won't have added it here in this entry. It's stupidity for our musings. He could have done it at the bushes, the tree, THE STAIRCASE, or Prem's favourite, THE DUST BIN! No, Shafiq peed beside the vending machine. Sigh. And yes, I did laugh at your wit then, but come to think of it, WTF, Shafiq~ I go to vending machines to get drinks, just like 23957238 other ppl around the world do. Anyway, I've got a lot of things to do this Jan. It's more of getting my life back. I even thought of going to NIE, but I so do not want to teach malay and get under paid. Sigh. I actually miss my Poly friends a lot to the extend that I actually dream of them. =( I'm turning in all the faces we don't know Tuesday, January 08, 2008, 2:41 AM
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure  Fueled By Ramen is possibly my most favourite record label ever. Most of the bands have the lyrical wordplay, like Cute Is What We Aim For, Fall Out Boy (like yes, I like FOB, okayyy)and Panic! At the Disco. Latest addition to my favourites would probably be Cobra Starship. Yeah, I know, I never liked Snakes On Plane. That's just weird. But I can't help to like the catchy tune to the newly released single, The City Is At War. this little girl, was alone in the world. until she found a way to get it fixed for free. oh, pretty please, it breaks my heart to see, another tragedy. she finally got her picture on tv. come on, live it up while you can. but always in the end, no you don't get another shot. bang bang, shoot 'em up. yeah. Last Sunday, I probably worked what seemed like 14 hour shift. I could feel every muscle in my body swell, crying for a break. Ahhh. Fucking tired. Well, at least I've got the entire week off. This means extreme boredom.
How long should I ponder over this? I cannot help but to doubt every second of this? Bet you could see through me; that my eyes don't sparkle like how they used to. Thought we've gone through this over and over again? I wished you'd say something. Speak. cause i've lost my power Sunday, January 06, 2008, 12:24 AM
 No make up no face I've just read what's probably Singapore's most gossipy magazine's, 8 Days. The scandalous lives of the high end "Upper West Side" of the world. The Sell Outs Of the World Jamie Lynn Spears got herself pregnant before she's legal to drink. Lindsay Lohan on her probably 3793th arrest/rehab (I'm sorry, but I just cannot keep count) Paris SkeleHilton going behind bars and a few other stuff. And Ms Spears losing custody of her children. AGAIN. tsk. Thank Godness, I've never idolized any of them- ever. I never once thought Hit Me Baby, One More Time,was ever a good song. I never thought Lindsay Lohan was ever talented though I liked the movie, Parent Trap. I really hated Paris for she's always had a been a sell out. But we gotta admit, without them, life would be pretty boring. I mean, they get talked about when they get drunk and wasted. We don't. I mean, we talk about sell outs because they are fun to talk about. Which is exactly why, I don't go raving about listening to Paramore, Panic! At the Disco, The Hush Sound, Flyleaf, Meg And Dia, Jack's Mannequin and how awesome they are cause they are not sell outs. Like, I have this crazy belief that if I pester people to play or listen to them (I don't believe me, ask my band. i never insisted on playing any of it) because if they are popularised too much (and they already are) that they become sell outs. Ok, enough said, cause I think that's just crap. For celebrity gossips please do not visit this site ever again. It' www.trent.blogspot.com All that aside, I am still amazed at how I managed to keep my feet and ass at home the whole of yesterday (05/01/08) I've never not go out and the feeling is really nice. Though I have this sudden urge of calling Gab, but I think he's gone to bed already since he's not online AND I have work tomorrow in the morning. And OMG, Ruzanna is leaving SG for 6 BLEEDING YEARS to study medicine in AUS soon. I hate this. Why can't she just have studied in NUS. SHE'S BRILLIANT and I love her. How can she not get accepted there? Ruzzie, please love me and Nadiah still once you get Aussiefied, ok? Like think of it, the last we saw each other was almost a year ago. And I know I've been such a bitch for being busy and calling off our meetings a few times. I mean, I got other priorities and I really hope you would understand. And I can't even call myself a good friend because we don't even have a decent photo of us together. =( I mean, I haven't met a lot of friends. Like, Wendy, Rachel and Eeyin, and probably Nicolette, who I honestly don't know what happened between me and her.  Probably the only picture of us together Okay, as I've said, I stayed at home the whole day. I don't know what I did, but I assured you, I was at home the whole day, probably telling myself inside jokes. And I've concluded that the word, phlegm is the word of the week because I think everyone I know is using it for the fun of it. Come to think of it, phlegm is a funny word. Anyway, my wireless connection is busted. I'm not sure who is at fault here. The MIO modem or my fucking laptop. Go figure. I'm actually freaking out over the fact that my sister claims that she saw a gigantic cockroach in my room. I'll end things off with this. Enjoy. and I love you ppl plenty. Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier. alright, I've said enough for today. I'm going to bed. =) Friday, January 04, 2008, 10:39 PM
2007 is probably a year to remember. I have to admit, it was one of the best years that I ever had. =) I miss it already.  Friday's outing with Faiz was RUINED by the fact that he HAD to go work last minute. HE PROMISED ME THE WHOLE DAY LAHH. I loathe the Sharil guy BIG BIG BIG TIME. The idiot knew of his plans and conveniently got him working on his off day. I think there is no justice in this. Bloody hell, they are not given choices in any of this. Aside that, we made do with whatever time we had. Lunched at Fish and Co. at Park Mall for I've been craving for their seafood platter and oysters. However, as usual, they had no fresh oysters. I'll never eat picatta ever again. Cheese and egg. OMG. It's so weird. However, I loved the seafood platter's prawns, shrimps, and of course fish, which I was too full to eat thanks to the Wrasse Picatta I had-I REPEAT, DO NOT TRY THIS. IT'S FROM THE LUNCH MENU. After lunch, we walked all the way to town to get my cute Triangel. Yes, I'm spelt it right, bimbo. It's spelt Triangel. Angel. Not Triangle.  Freaky ain't it? I love it lah. The cute costume. That hand painted porcelain face. The whole Vatican feel. My mum saw it and she thought, like how every crazy superstitious person would say, it looked devilish. Well, for one, my triangel hadn't moved from point A to point B at all during the night. However, I do believe it's smile had changed. Maybe it's the light. It won't ever change how much the Triangel means to me. After arguing with Faiz about how not creepy my Triangel is, we went further down to buy my sun dress. =D I'm supposed to get one for Nadiah as well, but I couldn't find the design she wanted. I remembered it had brown, red and orange patterns. After that, I spent more and more money- most on make up- that I felt that I couldn't be holding on to my card anymore. So I passed it to Faiz for safe keeping. Well, he does know the pin number, however, it's still more safe in his hands than mine. Bottom line, I'm so broke that I am not allowing myself out of the house at all unless it's for work or slacking at Hougang or Punggol. I deserved to be punished. Lol. Good bye people, I'm dirty and smelly and I feel that I've gotta go change my underwear. HAHAHHAHAH. xoxo I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand Wednesday, January 02, 2008, 4:42 PM
 I think the message has been registered and now I don't see the need for that post. =) I realize that I really hate it whenever I'm not in control. Like as if I get this some sort of security because I'm quite sure of myself and that it gives me the confidence to do whatever it is I need. The thing about being wasted, my brain was seriously thinking of something else, but for some reason, the body can't register that. It's close to losing yourself except that you know what you're doing and that I can actually stop myself from doing things that I'm not up for. Thanks Gab for the drinks that day. Awesomeness Durian for supper. Thanks ar, mum. You shall be one of the contributers for my fats. I'm tired. I went all the way to Ngee Ann because Ghaz kept insisting. Damn you. I was make-upless and I was wear ugly shorts. I cannot stand the fact that you're clingy. In a way that you I have quote and unquote from Ariffin, report strength, to you about practically everything. For one, it's annoying. Tsk. Lunching with Faiz tomorrow at town. And I'll be shopping. Yay. Goodnight moon , 12:00 AM
  New Year's Day was spent at Pasir Ris Park with Zeek and co after a change of plans with dinesh and gang. Had fun. I miss Zeeky already lah. Friends of five years officially. Awesome. I love you la best friend. :) before that i was from work where there was big countdown masquerade ball. I love the bqt ppl la. It feels like home with them. :) i'm happy okay. Fantastic countdown. 
This afternoon, I caught a movie with RC. FINALLY CAUGHT NATIONAL TREASURE. Fantastic show. Mind boggling really. Thanks for your time Superman. OK, i'm going off to meet Gab at PR. Bye world. |
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