i can keep a secret
if you can keep me guessing
the flavour of your lips
is enough to keep me pressing
|
currently listening
cause this is “see you later,” I’m not into goodbyes | ||||||||
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Friday, February 29, 2008, 5:46 AM
 If someone had told you that SG is the safest country in the world, then someone lied. Apparently, the hottest news to ever hit this part of the world is that a JI member had escaped Whitley Detention Center. Got me asking to why is someone so dangerous, and murderous, not dead yet? It's been like, what, 2 years since he was caught? Ok, so I'm naive enough not to know of the procedure of how to detain a terrorist, but, it's SG people! It's SG!! We are now allowed to go into freak mode knowing that SG's security is not as sophisticated and flawless as it claims to be. Ok, let's put the technology aside, what were the people on guard doing? I mean, you're detaining a probable mass murderer in your area, terrorist capable of blowing up an entire plane/train into smithereens, YOU ALLOWED YOUR GUARD DOWN? It's either they were complacent, thinking that computers and the cells are flawless, or they have befriended the lunatic. I believe there has to be some sort of conspiracy. I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE of the 'inside-help' scenario, rather than the flawed security technology. You reckon? I came back home today at 530am to find my mum and dad sleeping in my room. After chasing them out, for I don't feel comfortable anywhere but my own bed, I found my mother's lacy bra underneath one of my pillows. Fucking disturbing. MY GOD. On a lighter note, let's start a game. What's your wedding song? I chose Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, while Nadiah chose Cry by Mandy Moore. Ppl tagged are:
Why is that you always pick up the best times to drop the worst lines? Wednesday, February 27, 2008, 6:37 AM
 Five days, it's been since I last went home. Hopefully, I'll be heading back home today for I'm getting pretty homesick. I've not been contacting my friends at all for my phone died on me. Damn Samsung. I barely used it. Argh. I also wanna check if my mother has got any cash with her for I'm dead broke. My god. I did have fun with both my cousins here at Admiralty though. Ah. It's amazing how time flies. I lost track of time actually. I didn't realise it's already coming to the end of the month. It's a leap year this year, by the way. Fascinating how the Greeks decided on the number of days in a month and to cleverly decide February to have 29 days every 4 years, and 28 days for the rest of the years. I will now minimise my ego and admit that I miss Nurse. why? Tuesday, February 26, 2008, 4:49 AM
 I reckon that I used to be rather intellectual compared to what I am now. I feel like a dumbass now. I remember that I used to pen down my thoughts so carefully, each word to reach as close as possible to how I actually think, fabricating each line so discreetly, ensuring that sentence was grammatically close to perfect, complete with punctuations where necessary. I loved writing, that's an undeniable fact. I could go on for pages if the essay had no limit to the number of words. Teachers adored my literature and probably one of the better writers in school. I don't know why my writings now are rather banal and sophomoric. I suppose it's the rawness of my thoughts. You know what? Fuck it. I've got readers everyday. I think love makes us do the craziest things. For me, love makes me a fool for I'm in denial for how hollow it seems without you. Barely a word from you, not even a whisper from whom they deem to be my friends, about you. Of course I've never asked for I refused for my ego is substantially big for a girl my size. Lately, I've been rather upset but I don't know what exactly it is I'm upset about. I think I know,but I simply shrug it off thinking that is not a possible case. I reckon that it's the premenstrual stress for I am having my period at the moment. Moody and restless, I binge. Sigh. At the moment I mind my own business and watch the people around me going on their daily lives as if I'm not there. Preferably I wished I wasn't there; wishing I was the four walls. It's interesting to people-watch.  Yes, it gets pretty interesting Got me asking why do people do the things they do. Like why does a person calls someone at unearthly hours very frequently but claims not to have any romantic feelings about the other party? Maybe I'm still too young to understand the love of a friend compared to the love of lover. Friends. I did call a friend at these ghostly hours cause I just wanted to(I guess that's the reason, cause they just want to). But we all know that friend isn't just like any other. Kinda pains me to think there won't be those late night calls anymore. For one, I don't have the guts to even face him. So what does that person mean to the other? Just friends? It's strange that I've been through it but I don't quite understand it. It's like not learning at all. And before you know it, you're at it again. SIgH. I do not have work AT ALL this week. I think I will really die of extreme boredom. God, I've got no life. Urgh. Probably it's time look for a more stable job since I'm utterly free. However, I rather not work at FNB though the familiarity is an asset. Korean Singer; Stop looking at me like that. I know you want me!! Just tell me!!! LMAO. Btw, Viola Sanitary Napkins have lived up to the name of Nano-technology for it does work!! =) PS, it's already confirmed that nurses are scary people. They've got terrible mood swings. I'm terrified of what I've gotten myself into. a brilliant lie Labels: crushcrushcrush Monday, February 25, 2008, 2:56 AM
there's a million other people who can be just like you; it's just that they choose not to  I've grown to be an angry person. Rah. Profanities I hurl every single day; be it a joke or me pissed with someone, I swear every single day; sober or drunk, euphoric or devastated, skanky or vulnerable. Does this make me bad? Like seriously, "fuck", "cb", "nb" are like the "to", "the", "and" of my daily conversations. If I don't use them, it would be deemed weird. It's like having a sentence without a verb or an adjective. Since I've confessed that I've this so-called disability, I shall now do what I do best when blogging. And that is to complain. Here it goes. Seriously, do you like it when someone constantly thinks that you are always talking about them? This entire paragraph shall be flooded with how deluded some people are to think that they are constantly at the tip of everyone's tongue. Once in a while, I'd probably understand as I believe it's pretty human to feel a little bit insecure. I mean, everyone has their flaws, and the ironic thing is that we don't really notice that certain bit of imperfection while we're at it. My life solely revolves around you? I would die in pure agony if your name or the doings of your life is not recorded into my memory? Anyway, it irritates the shit out of me when you're very casually talking to a friend, just to chat a bit, catch up and things like that, when she blurts in utter panic and distaste saying that my one of my blog posts is about her. Stunned and obviously annoyed, I punched in the word "No" rather aggressively onto the keyboard. Like wtf? For one, I wouldn't want to make fun of you knowing on how sensitive you can get. For another, it's not exactly the first time that you assumed that people are talking about you. Now, I'm talking about you. Enough about you. I also hate it when people talk about things they don't understand. Things they are not directly involved with. SO YA YA FOR WHAT. KNN. Certain people blog for attention cause they got no real life to talk about, so they, realising how boring their life is, talk about other people. A certain so and so enjoys blogging about the latest gossips in his/her/it alma mater. I read. Ok, gossip is gossip. News is news. But wait. Mentioning of internal conflicts and external conflicts amongst groups. Wah. Talk about making things worse. I'm sure I'm not the first to say that saying things like that doesn't really solve anything. In fact, I talked a few who totally agree that the posts are nasty malicious slander. True or not, It's slander as things like that shouldn't even appear on a blog under a community. (god, it's getting so hard to cover this) For normal bloggers like you and me, it's really safe to say ABC is a dickface. But for a blog that is under such a community i think everything has to be generalised(READ BITCH: NOT BIASED). And another thing that I hate is that person acting like he knows shit about music. About a rock concert. About a rock gig. About a rock band. Whether the biatch was singing in tune. Was the ass solo like nails on a chalkboard. Was the drumming too pussy. No. You don't know no shit about rock. have you even been to a real gig? Go to a real one and start digging your ears. So ya ya. Just to make things clear, that entire paragraph was really bullshit and me being pissed with the world. What I actually wanted to say is, you're being over ambitious and it's disgusting. Mac notebook is so amazing. The camera takes pictures of me and turns the photo of me into someone else. Here's proof.  I became a fatter and cock eyed Marzuq.  Vicente's 'best friend' Zhi Ting wasn't spared.  I don't know who I look like here but I swear to god, if I met someone like this anywhere, I'd break the face. OMG. I'M SO CRUDE. Honestly, I've been wondering a lot these days. Cause you call me Darling, in that really cute and funny tone. the way you stare into my eyes that just makes me so weak. how you open your mouth to speak to me, you gurgle a bit, not say a thing and just look away. Cause of how you sms me saying you miss me. I ponder. If only you could talk or write what you think in a language that I can understand, I'm sure I'd stop this infatuation. It's madness. I gotta learn Chinese. i've been saving smiles for you Labels: ANGST, crude, crushcrushcrush, photographs Sunday, February 24, 2008, 1:07 AM
I think love is such a strong word cause it's so powerful that it can either make you or break you.  A mini little gathering with the BME students of NP at Palawan Beach, Sentosa. God, I miss the whole of them so very much. I suppose everyone's pretty much the same. Missed out on a bit of gossips here and there, but in the end, I'm still quite updated. Didn't have that much talk time as all of us were pretty busy with the scene we got ourselves into. No details but I can assure you, it was something worth skipping work for. Random facts
it was only a kiss, how did it end up like this? Thursday, February 21, 2008, 10:58 PM
Gonna keep this post short as I got work at 12pm tomorrow. My mother was lashing at me the moment she found out that me and Faiz broke up. Like WTF. How long was that? What the fuck have I been telling her for the past few months don't seem to settle in her brain. She went on babbling on how good of a person he is as if I don't know. After which, she pin pointed EVERYTHING that I did wrong. Everything. Being too lazy and too polite to defend myself like I always am, I just kept quiet and complained to SuperNurse. Wah. I cannot stand her. She really got super pissed. Then she went on about me seeing other guys was wrong. Bloody hell, I was single lah. I can go out with who ever I please. I mean, I don't lie about who I'm going out with and usually she's quite fine about it- can't say she's that thrilled about that though. I think, she's the one who needs to get over my ex boyfriend. It's mental. For that, she's not letting me out of the house as and when I like. But then again, I don't quite listen to her. LMAO.  Anyway, you ppl gotta watch The L Word. It's about being gay and bisexual. I swear, I don't know what's up with me. First it's Tila Tequila of Myspace, now I'm watching this full blown lesbian show. I'm not gay. Nor am I prejudice about it. I think I have to come to terms with the fact that the sexuality does exist. And i might be one of them. JOKE.  I think I'm Claire Bennet of Heroes. Maybe the uglier and fatter version. I feel pain, but I heal very quickly. Like rapid cellular regeneration or sth like that. How subtle. SAVE THE CHEERLEADER, SAVE THE WORLD. HAHAH. Okay. -_- BYE. Labels: ANGST, malenurse, mmmaad ramblings Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 3:06 AM
What is your current relationship status? It's happening. LMAO What sort of people do you like, as far as what their interests are in life? Humour, music and intellectual conversations What traits turn you off? Complacency Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I strongly believe that being in a relationship is actually taking a chance and risking yourself to getting hurt. Therefore, whether it's jumping from one person to another or simply falling for that one person just like that really doesn't matter as the risk would technically be the same. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yes. What are the positive points about being single? The ability to feel indifferent without needing to feel guilty about it. What are the negative points about being single? It's the envy of seeing people in love. When single, do you often find yourself longing for companionship? Honestly, these days, I haven't gotten to the point of having the wishful thinking of wanting to have a companion as I do have friends to turn to. But sometimes you just want to have that special person that you share things with. Get my drift? Do you think it's better to look for love or let it find you? Love will find a way. What's the longest relationship you've ever been in? four years inclusive of the break ups. Do you think couples should spend a very large amount of time together or space things out a tad? Well, I do sometimes feel that spending too much time together would feel like sucking the air out of you. It's nice to spend lots of time together but I feel that I do need my own life; my life does not revolve solely on my bf. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? Yes. For I do want to explore and try out with other ppl. However if I were to worry about that too often, like if you're putting time as a factor, then I doubt you'd actually find anyone at all. In spite of it all, I do find myself questioning the other person's commitment and loyalty. Have you ever confessed your feelings to a crush? nope. If i did then I would have a big problem right now. Would you get involved with someone if they were previously married? That's love, aint it? How big of an issue is religion to your compatibility? At this point, no as it's not like as if I am getting married soon. Over the long run, then perhaps. In a potential mate, how important is intelligence to you? I cannot possibility emphasize on how much a turn on intellect is. In a potential mate, how important is a sense of humor to you? yes What was your first kiss like? I cannot remember How important are the looks of a mate's face to you? well, a little bit. But I dated ppl who are not that attractive but they've got the X factor. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren't seriously involved with? Yes. Were you single at the time? single lah If you're currently not married, do you foresee yourself ever tying the knot? Maybe Do you plan on having children someday? one or two minions would do Have you ever had an emotional pain so bad it made you sick or physically hurt? yes Have you ever gotten back together with someone after breaking up? yes Do you believe there's hope for people after they get back together or don't you? I've seen love die way too many times. LOL Have you ever broken up with someone and remained friends afterward? yes Have you ever longed to get back together with someone? yes at a point however, I got over it and everything's fine now. -------- I'm so crazy. I think. I told the most random ppl online that the song Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls must be played at my wedding. -_- NICE SONG, OKAY. IT'S MINE FOR MY WEDDING. lol. =) Labels: random thoughts Monday, February 18, 2008, 7:30 AM
  I've got great ppl in my life. Don, Chin, Melvin. Can't possibly wish for any better Supervisor, Captain and Manager. They made me wanna smile and just stay cheerful all day working there. At Azmi's house at the moment. He's been insisting that I come over his place for quite sometime now. So here I am. Lol. I love fooling around with his camera. =) 
 My favourite photo. =) I miss you Ashley. I fucking miss you. Sunday, February 17, 2008, 1:11 AM
 Hours back, I broke down like a sick puppy. I was so confused and unhappy. I kept asking why. Even after waking from what happened, I still feel devastated. Knowing that I couldn't talk any sense if I had been with myself, I talked to the best and worst person I know. I asked if I was that bad of a person. I asked if I was that bad as a friend. I asked if I was that much of an idiot. Lastly, I asked if I sinned so bad that God wanted me to feel His so-called pain. You said no to all I've asked. You said you don't know why this happened to me. You didn't even say that I deserve to be in that position. You just said cause it's because I had a heart but they didn't. And to that I cried even more. God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right person DON'T SITI TAGGED THIS AND THAT WHEN I FUCKING DIDN'T TAG. NOT ONLY THAT PERSON DIDN'T HAVE BALLS TO PUT HIS/HER OWN NAME THERE, HE/SHE USED MY FUCKING IDENTITY TO ACTUALLY DEFAME SOMEONE ELSE. No balls. There could be some other Siti in the world of NVSS, but to make things clear, it wasn't me. So Shareena, I didn't tag there. End of discussion.  I went out with my nurse, Fitri. Thanks for being there for me when I really needed a listening ear. Went to the beach. How corny. Talked about stuff like ghosts. He really scared me to death when he said "Pontianak" though we've been using code name "HER". I don't know why. It's so taboo and saying the name just gives me the creeps. After that we went to find his friends and I had fun with the guitarists there. Indie!! I miss you today. I told myself I won't miss you but I did anyway. You know we can't, yet you still do. Don't make this hard for yourself. Cause if you do, you pull me in. even if it means saving you Friday, February 15, 2008, 10:01 PM
 Valentine's Day this year was perfect. I swear. I didn't have the cliche romantic dates like everyone else did, not did I receive a stalk or a bouquet of roses like every other girl did. Nope. But it was so fun, fruitful and enjoyable with my single friends. Lunched with my darling Nadiah at Tampines Mall's Pastamania where I had Seafood Miso. Pretty bland, however I enjoyed the scallops and clams. After which I had a last practice session with CS before the real thang, the next day. Azmi was there also to annoy and amuse me as my Valentine. INCEST. Went to the airport with him to send Ruzzie, who was going away to Australia for further studies.  The Desirables  I took this shot!  Fitri was the Superman of the day The performance today was seriously not bad. =) Our only problem was with the acoustic guitars. Faiz came up on stage after the first song to hand me a stalk of rose. Sigh. The crowd went wild. Hero of the day man. Really in a bitchy mood to talk about that Diana lah. We did tell her we are doing acoustic numbers, yet, she made this ruckus about the guitars being too soft for the hall. Like for fuck, we got to know of performing in the hall like a week before the performance unlike the first stated platform at the spiral stairs. Anyway, thanks all who came down to watch us and watch the others. One of the better crowds in NV. Thanks Megat and Azhar for coming down. Love you guys plenty. Thanks to Shafeeq of Tragic Affair who find me sexy for that compliment. RAZIN TOLD ON YOU! HAHAHAHHA. I miss being a cheerleader. Period.  OK. I'm fucking exhausted. Good night. for you deceive me with fabricated lies Wednesday, February 13, 2008, 11:13 PM
My morning- yes, I did say morning- was spent with Jass baking cookies for Valentine's. I cannot believe that she could beg me out of my bed at like seven am in the morning to get the ingredients from NTUC. Neither could I believe that she had that power to get Charles out of bed an hour later to make them with us at Jass' place.  I know I didn't make much, but these are just the first set of gifts. I'll have another set of what nots, for my dearest Ruzzie who would be leaving for Australia soon, and of course for the staff in JM.  My first attempt at baking. I'm pretty proud of what I made actually. I know they look pretty blackened, but trust me, they still taste good okay. =) Dearest Ruzanna, I know you're leaving pretty soon, and so many things will be left unsaid. I just want you to know, I treasure our friendship though we only got the chance to meet and talk for a brief period of time. I'm sorry that I've so busy that I couldn't get some off time for you and Nadiah. Come to think of it, I've been rather selfish, putting my work before you. Now that you are leaving in one day, I really wish that I could turn the time to when we first met at Ikea, and have it at replay again and again. I pray for your safety and well being. And never forget us here in SG. P.S Do drop by when you're having long term vacations ya? Ouh and the GOODIES from Down Under too. I miss watching Gossip Girl. God. When will they start writing again? Nate and Chuck =)  Tuesday, February 12, 2008, 4:39 AM
Taken using Razin's 2 mega pixel camera phone. We just camwhored a bit whenever we too tired of practicing. Didn't think much of the picture at first until I pointed out the shadow behind him.  Razin sent it to Shafiq for some contrasting and we were genuinely shocked to see a face somewhere on the left side. Do click on the pic and zoom all you like. It's a bad photograph, edits didn't really help. Moral of the story: Shafiq takes bad and suey photographs. LOL SHAFIQ. LOL! Razin, and Jan were complaining about girls and how they get so worked up to get new clothes for just that 5 minutes up stage. I don't get them either cause for one, I've got enough clothes. To me, I got a lot cause I do exchange clothes with my sister now and then. Speaking of clothes, I just cleared my closet. And no, please don't think like Vicente who thinks I'm running away from home; I'm actually throwing out all the clothes I don't wear anymore. Found a lot of my 'missing' shirts. Kinda pissed off at myself. I really thought I lost them somewhere. I felt that my closet was bursting with all the old ones. After that, I realise, I'm just left with the ones I recently bought this year and the last. I swear, I cannot actually believe the amount of arguments that we are having by just being friends. We're not even a couple or what nots yet, and there is too many things to explain. I have to believe and I'm forcing myself to believe that it's the culture shock. I'm tired of explaining this again and again. It's becoming so old. I realise that having no cable tv at home makes me lose out on many aspects of the world. Like the environment(don't LOL), foreign politics, and celebrity scandals and gossips. For those of you who are sad as I am, this is Tila Tequila, probably the hottest thing in 2007 and still is.  She's as cute a button though she wears the skankiest outfits ever, I swear. Just look at her tits! Fuck. And here's probably the kinkiest bit: She's bisexual. Isn't she just a dream? So if you guys have fucking cable tv, do watch A Shot At Love/ Another Shot At Love on MTV for some hot raunchy lesbian action. for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me Monday, February 11, 2008, 4:45 AM
 I reckon that if I wasn't me, I'd envy me. Probably, I'd hate myself. I'm getting ahead of myself, biting more than I can chew. I'm rediscovering something i had completely forgot, something that I thought was lost. Please leave if you don't feel at ease to even look at me in the eyes. Cause if I'm causing you grief, then why do you even hang on? Don't you ask me back that cause I never held on to you. It's not that I never loved you nor is it that I don't love you at all, I just won't allow you to come any closer than where you already are. And I know, you are trying to shut me out. I won't let myself fall in love just yet. Maybe I've yet to heal fully. Or I have yet to trust. I dare not say I've changed since the end of another, but I know, I was never as sure as I was before. A friend of mine (whose name shall be disclosed for pride's sake) introduced me to this brand of sanitary napkins. It came with a brochure of which I read for my daily musings. Believe me, I was amused and skeptical however, very curious. Viola's Sanitary Napkin; a new way to define comfort I'll tell you guys if this thing works and you guys can place orders from me if you want. =D If I was ever poor, I'd sell my blog. A fortune, I tell you.
 I never asked you to why you asked me out that night at the beach. Why you had held my hand. And why had you pulled me in against your lips? So scenic, so at peace. It was beautiful while it lasted. Friday, February 08, 2008, 11:36 PM
 The CNY period is probably the most depressing and darkest period in SG where practically none of the stores are open, and the usual lights brightly lit in the stores are dimmed. It's so inconvenient especially when you run out of you basic necessities like shampoo and deodorant. DEODORANT. I fucking ran out of my roll-on deodorant which makes wearing of normal tees such a hassle as I would be able to feel the sweat under my arms. Sounds damn gross but it's true that I am possibly human that I have sweat at my pits. However, wearing tank tops and spaghetti straps aren't that of a brilliant idea as well. You see, a deodorant's main purpose of use is to DEODORIZE. Yes, I hate the smell of my BO. Again, yes, I'm gifted in the sense of smell to be able to do that as most people do not realize that they have BO.It's really getting to me. I swear. It seriously makes me feel uneasy. VERY UNEASY. I put on tons of perfume too mask any possible tinge of my unglam odor. Here's something really hilarious.Enjoy. The Orang Panjang Contemporary Mat Dictionary Gua [goo-wah] noun – What some mats and minahs use to call themselves. Similar in using “lu” when referring to others. A legacy that dates back to the times of Mat Rocks back in the early 80s. A common trick that can be played on Mats is to ask them to translate the English phrase “Monkey Cave” into Malay. The mat will then say “Gua Monyet” (I'm a monkey). Mat [mat] noun – To the rest of the world, the word simply means a Malay guy. But within the Malay community itself there is a growing disparity in consensus to its actual meaning. Popularly, it's used to denote a guy who converses primarily in Malay, as opposed to the more “English speaking” types. Favourites of the mats include tapered jeans, trucker caps and weepy Malay songs with sickeningly suicidal lyrics. Matrep [mat-rape] noun – An extreme version of the mat. In addition to the usual mat accessories, a matrep will also come adorned with tattoos and matching body-piercings in weird corners of his body. Minah [mee-nah] noun – An expression used to denote a Malay female. Derived from the popular Malay name, Aminah, which used to be all the rage some time ago. It was sort of the “in-thing” to name your daughter Aminah back in the 60s and 70s. In fact, legend has it that if you go to Geylang Serai market and shout “Hai Minah!” at least a quarter of the makcik population there is going to turn around and smile at you. Picit [pee-chet] adjective – When a mat tells you to “picit” him, it does not mean that he is trying to be cheeky (or gay, if he is talking to a fellow mat). It simply means that the mat wants you to call him on his mobile. What were you thinking? Relaksuah [ree-lek-soo-wah] adjective – Official slogan and life motto of the mats and minahs. Sial [see- yal ] noun / adjective – A full stop in every mat's sentence. Eg: “Tadi aku nampak accident sial Rabak sial Aku tak bedek sial Kesian sial” Translation: Just now I saw an accident (full stop) It was bad (full stop) I'm not kidding (full stop) Poor guy (full stop) In its purest form, “sial” means “jinx” but mats have refined the art of using the word to include it at the end of their every sentence. Also comes in the more polite form “siak” and “siul” for those who do not want to sound too crude. Skank [s-kank] adjective - A favourite weird-looking dance performed by mats and minahs. Usually done at any of the various gigs that mats and minahs love to congregate at. At times, you do detect evidence of artistry in the dance but most of the time they just look like they've been possessed by the ghost of a restless retard. Sowie [soh-wee] adjective – An expression of apology used by minahs. Commonly used in SMS and instant messaging. Actually they can just use the word “sorry” like every normal human being but minahs think that it will make them sound extra cute to deliberately talk that way. Example : “I will be late. Sowie!” Step [se-tep] adjective – To beguile, dissimulate or impersonate something or someone that they are not. Also commonly used to describe a fellow mat or minah who acts in an arrogant manner. E.g.“Kau jangan nak step tak tahu eh?” Translation: Don't you dare feign innocence in this matter. Can also be used as a gerund e.g. “stepping”. See next entry. Step Jambu [se-tep jam-boo] adjective - What minahs do when they are sitting alone in a train and a group of mats walk in. It is a general exercise where the minah “controls” her facial muscles and posture in a way that would make her look her best. This would usually involve looking incessantly at her handphone for no particular reason. Stoppit [setop-eet] adjective – A general expression of intolerance and dismay. When a minah uses this phrase, be very careful for it signals that she is about to lose her cool or get very violent. LMAO!! I have a hunch. However, I choose to see the best in people. Sometimes, there isn't a good side. There just isn't. I miss you. Be my Valentine, would you? Cause I can't think of anyone else but you. It's so amazing that you SMSed me exactly when I was thinking of you just a few seconds ago(11.03pm). Coincidence, yes. Sigh. I'm not picky, but once you've set your heart on just that one person, you tend to wait like a fool for that very person as if the person would know your feelings by just sitting and moping around. Why do you always want something you can't have? Tsk, wishful thinking, Siti. Sinful. all that i lost Thursday, February 07, 2008, 8:34 AM
 I was convincing Razin the other day that Indies is probably the best genre of music. Of course, my main aim was to psycho the Nirvana out of him. Hah, sounds so right. After a year or so, with all the anger, hate and anti-love polluting my mind, thanks to Rock, Grunge, Metal, Punk, and Emocore, I'm mellowing down this month with hippie music. LOVE, PEACE, NO WAR! Totally digging the song being played in this blog. Fucking awesome. God. I love it. My father and sister came back today from Oman, just in time for CNY. Of course, the only thing I'd expect from the family on every festive occasion would be the ordering of take outs. I'm betting on Pizza Hut or Canadian Pizza since my mother has been ordering MacDonald's' for quite a while now. How can she not anyway? THEY HAVE THE PROSPERITY BURGER!!! Faiz threw a tantrum at me for not waiting for him to get a burger -.- Like my tummy will wait for a man! HAHAHA. For throwing a cushion in my face, just because I hadn't waited for him, please do enjoy the little Emo Doll, FAIZ, on the right. Emo Doll Faiz is emo for he has hair all over his eyes making his sight horrible, and he apparently has forgotten to wear clothes. I'm evil, yes, I know. PLAY WITH THE DICK. PLAY WITH THE WILLY! WANK IT!! JACK IT!! Rouchen's awfully nice. I cannot stand it. I wish to stab his face sometimes for being so very sweet to me. All I had to do was complain about the most lamest things like having a sore throat a few weeks back, and he bought me this herbal chinese syrup to soothe the pain on the day itself. And just now, he asked the cab driver to go to the nearest 7-11 to get me a drink cause I was complaining. I should stop complaining. Rah. I pray things would go well for him on the 20th. Stupid boy got himself into trouble and now he's getting ass bitten. If things doesn't, I'd probably be so upset. So fucking upset, you hear me Rouchen. Make sure you die of guilt for making me worry. Anyway, I think my sister had a blast at Oman. She and my dad went there with two luggages. THEY CAME BACK WITH FIVE. My sister did a lot of shopping for herself and me. Thanks sis. I got what I wanted. And that was shawls. Not just any shawl okay. She brought back 100% Cashmere/Pashmina shawls. SHAWLS. Not one, or two or three but like 8 of them. I'M SO OVER THE MOON. I love them. So very much. She got like practically every possible colour of them. =D I'M SO HAPPY. She brought back this really awesome skirt which I immediately wore to work. Really pretty. God, it's so pretty. =D Dad did some shopping there too. Believe it or not, there was a 70% sale at Zara. Daddykins bought a pair of boots from Zara. God, I'm so envious. Shopping for trinkets were not the only thing that they did in Oman, they also visited tombs of various Prophets. GOD, I'M SO ENVIOUS. I so wanna see those tombs too. I swear, I cannot imagine my sister walking through a desert. Went to chill with Don, my supervisor, at Geylang where I had seafood noodles- which I must was pretty awesome-and some of the other guys from SSC after work just now. So sad that Korean Singer didn't join us. LOL. Went off early cause I had to meet Jass for a while. While waiting for her, I talked to Don on the phone about certain disclosed issues for nearly an hour until my batt died completely on me. How nice. I mean, it's really nice to have someone older, observant enough to know give some pointers although he need not know the entire drama. I guess adults are not as oblivious as they seem to be. Probably because I thought that the issue was kept between the few who knew. Thanks Don.  I have an idea now to why you feel I'm being pretty indifferent about your feelings. Probably because I'm not the kind to pry into secrecy and personal issues. Maybe because sometimes I feel pretty trapped needing to let myself in or I feel it's a hassle to want to let you let me in. It's not that I don't bother, nor is it because I don't care, I just don't know who relate it to. A probable factor could be the fact that our personalities vast so greatly that I find it pretty hard to connect. I apologize if I made you feel insignificant or any less than that for I never meant to hurt you. Honestly speaking, I dread the commitment that I need to put up with if there was a possibility. I never lied to you when I told you I'm just not ready for this or any relationship at all. And probably yes, I was slightly uncomfortable with the much needed attention that you yearn from me. Just try to understand that after the pain I've gone through in the past, I don't wish to lose anyone, especially you. Call me selfish for I cannot imagine seeing you holding someone else's hand but mine. I swear, I wished you'd hate me instead of loving me, I know you can't help it but neither can I. Sometimes, I had this wishful thinking that I never met you. But that'd be wishing my life away cause you were and are the best part of my life. Throwing you away seems to me like throwing the greatest gift from God away. All the times you were there for me when I needed you the most. All the times you sat through nights telling me it's alright. The many things I wish to pen down now, it'd probably be a repetitive to had said before. I guess words cannot compromise with this overwhelming thoughts I have about you. So many people had said, you're something. You're that special and amazing. Turns out you drove me into the crowd. So much for wishful thinking. Tuesday, February 05, 2008, 7:30 PM
 Sorry again for the lack of updates. I haven't been online for quite some time. I think it was two days. Yes, two days straight, I wasn't home. And I wore the same red shirt(Yes, the one in the pictures) for two days straight. LOL. Sunday was practice with Jan and Razin again for our performance. Just found out today that we had to stick with just two songs. Hopefully, these two songs are perfected fast enough before Valentine's. Slept over at Tasha's place for two days. Auntie and Uncle are simply awesome. =D Went back to Ngee Ann to meet up with Ghaz. We were supposedly to watch a movie but again, Ghaz would never displease his brudders so I ended up doing absolutely nothing. Fuck you Ghaz! Fuck you. I'm so irritable. FUCK THE FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN. I don't mean literally of course. But why the fuck do I have to bleed every month? WHY! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO EVER HURT YOU GOD, THAT I AM CHASTISED TO THIS ETERNAL DOOM OF BEING A WOMAN. I WANT ANSWERS!  Again, you left me breathless. What are you trying to do to me? After all the mind fuck, am I getting the bitter taste of my own medicine? Probably. For I've deserved this. I don't expect to be understood, especially with the barrier, I really don't expect you to fully comprehend the complications of my mind. I expect nothing out of you. However, you think otherwise. "You should know when I'm angry," you said. LIKE I'M MARRIED TO YOU NOW LAH IS IT? Fuck, I'm so annoyed. So enjoy these pictures, from www.funny.com  See that Shafiq!!!  Ahhh  WATERGUN ATTACK NOW!! LOL I just want to love you as much as he did Saturday, February 02, 2008, 10:30 PM
 I'd never lie to you and you know that I'd never do anything that would hurt you. All I want is the best for you. My comments are just opinions, and of course, it's for you to judge in the end. Just don't regret. You know I'll always be there for you. I know you hate me... but i miss you too. From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive LOL! I reckon Click Five was drunk when they were writing the lyrics to 'Happy Birthday'. What link does "I know you hate me" has got a thing to do with "I miss you too" Absolutely funny. Jass, Charles and i burst into fits when we heard it. Totally shagged. Sick in bed all day today. Supposedly to work at JM for lunch and Bqt for dinner till closing. That's like about $112 bucks gone. Couldn't get out of bed in spite of me forcing myself out. In the end, I couldn't cause the fever got to me. Burning.  I swear, Jassica is the best person to hang out with when you're bored. The really out of your mind kind of bored. She was making really weird facial expressions while lip syncing every song being played on Charles' hp last night. I wished I had it on video. Gotta make a mental note to do that one day.  Was chatting to Weixin and the subject about relationships popped up. My contemplations, he cleared with just this sentence. Terry says: i dont really like girls to hook the guy on the rope and let them bleed. It was so simple yet so very powerful. Like I felt a glitch of guilt and sympathy at the same time. Thanks Weixin. You don't know how much you've hurt me. At least, this time, I was prepared for the blow. It was pretty devastating to know the truth. Though I now know the truth beneath all the spite, I still cannot draw myself away from your eyes. I saddens me on how someone as beautiful as you, shatter like just that. You're one of my greatest memory in history. I still put your picture in a frame. I still smile at the call of your name. But like I said, you'll just be my sweetest memory, cause you told me before, "It's just not meant to be". if I say it like I mean it, then maybe I'll believe it like its true Friday, February 01, 2008, 2:57 AM
 "So he said, "Would it be all right Sorry for the lack of updates. Been awfully busy. Dreadful really. Barely have time to meet my Ngee Ann Poly friends, like PRE, GHAZ, DINESH, VINOD, VICENTE, JM, FAB, M, JOVAN, ANSHAR, MARZUQ, TWINS, BENG, and my bandmates. Damn, I cannot even jam lah due to my full concentration on my upcoming performance at NV. Also, Valentine's Day is coming. really missing the times in Secondary School where the girls would pack little sweets for each other and the guys, would give the each girl a stalk of rose. Like, really, I remember all the girls getting a stalk each. It was really sweet of them to think of such things. We came back from recess to find roses on our desks. Those were the days, man. CNY is coming soon as well, and I've got an invitation to party with the banquet staff after their reunion dinner. Ivan is really thoughtful to have Daiwei over his place for dinner since he practically has no family but two cousins or so in SG. Let's not forget Xianglan's birthday on the ninth, I think, and I've yet to get her a present. It's already the first and I've got my entire week of the month planned!!!  This photograph is proof{that Charles, Priya and Jass are not my imaginary friends}  Hallucinate! I'm really worn out. Complete weariness. I think I haven't been getting enough sleep for I've been hanging out with Charles, Jass and Priya almost every night. I mean, the convenience of having lepak buddies living less than 100m away. I mean, really. We live like a few blocks away, literally. Sickening. You're not one bit appreciative of the seven dollars an hour job that I've so willing introduced to you. You're so god damn irresponsible. You borrowed my friend's white shirt, however you have yet to contact me to return it to me. Like wtf. Who are you to make me haunt you down to get the shirt from you? Just so you know you are actually in my debt and mercy of getting you someone who is willing enough to lend it to you, a complete stranger. I'm so sick of you and ppl exactly like you who step all over me with your pathetic story of really needing money. You expect me to sympathize every aspect about your life. As if my life is absolutely perfect. As if I'm so well off. I refused to be pitied for I've got this ultra giant ego of which I refuse to turn down for anyone. I refuse! It's so pathetic that a man like you, suddenly I see, so small and looked down upon not for your wit or money, but for your irresponsibility and your attitude of showing me anything less than gratitude. you never realize with every action you do, you get a consequence and it may not be you who is affected. I never refuse a plea for help, but for some reason, if I refuse, I'll get the blame. Fingers point at me. Though I'm not at wrong. CCB. Ppl like you, never change for you believe that you are so great. Because you believe you are good. You take things too lightly. Things you see trivial and insignificant. Well you're now less than insignificant to me. If only you knew, on how much I'm dying to see you. If only you knew how much I feel about you. The 'ifs and maybes'. I hate them. God. Why do I shiver up inside with the thoughts of you having someone else but me? I'm starting to think that I can love again. And maybe, I can love you. Jealousy is the cousin of greed, siti. And you're already biting on more than you can chew; don't choke. |
saintjuliet
 mail me: CHEERDANCEFLY@GMAIL.COM 010590  
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