i can keep a secret
if you can keep me guessing
the flavour of your lips
is enough to keep me pressing
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Thursday, July 31, 2008, 11:07 PM
I HAVE A LOT OF HOMEWORK! I need to watch 4 movies that supposedly has some psychology aspect to it. SOMEONE PLEASE RENT ME A BEAUTIFUL MIND, LEGALLY BLONDE 2, PRIMAL FEAR, and THE HAPPENING. I sometimes wish that you'd be more independent. Or more rebellious. Maybe I'm not a fan of abiding by the rules and curfews. I suppose I must choose to understand your situation. must be understanding. must be understanding. must be understanding. must be understanding. must be understanding. must be understanding. must be understanding. I miss Denvers already. Especially my fellow juniors. CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR SATURDAY! Sunday, July 27, 2008, 10:12 PM
but you'd know i'll do it all again for you I'M COMPLAINING. BARE WITH IT. or just don't read. zzz I'm tired. My body's aching. I'm sleepy. I'm hungry. and I'm starting school tomorrow at SPRING- god knows where the fuck that is. So much for "I CANNOT WAIT TO START SCHOOL!" nonsense! Now that I've got school, work and Cheerleading, I so need to fucking figure things out on how to set them right. I AM SUCH A CONTROL FREAK. AND WHY AM I FUCKING VULGAR?? bleah. i wish i was better. I was walking back home from Bradell Heights when I walked pass a guy who saw me and cleverly said "cheerleader". I kinda froze for a bit, but I didn't dare to turn.. For I wasn't wearing anything or anything that actually screams "cheerleader". I had NV's PE tee shirt on, running shoes, and I'm fat for eat Mac's every day- perhaps the everyday is an exaggeration. AND PLEASE GET A COPY OF LIME MAGAZINE. Azmi's photo in it. Hang it up on your wall, wank to it or use it as toilet paper when you got none. i'm lazy to update.kthnxbye I'm forever 16 :) Friday, July 25, 2008, 3:02 AM
 seems so impossible to get this at this rate :( Watched The Dark Knight with the recently turned 18, Shafiq, and the forever emo Razin. It's been a real long time since we last hung out and it's gonna take a while more before we have another reunion. Anyway, DARK KNIGHT OWNS! Now I'm even more terrified of clowns. I swear, Heath Ledger portrayal of the joker was a huge thumbs up. The sinister and psychotic mind games almost made me cry. What really moved me was the benevolence?(i'm sorry, i cant think of a word to describe this quality) that is within every one being shown in the show. CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH IT AGAIN.
sometimes, i feel sorry for you that i decided to waltz into your life, making it as miserable as how good as it gets. i'm sorry that i happened to be in the way at your crossroads; i didn't think it'd be like this anyway. i space out, in deep thought, pondering to why you're still here; why you choose to be here. there isn't any good in me. pause, inhale. stare. i don't know. anymore. testing you every time, wondering if you'd give in to me like yesterday and the day before that. that happens, sometimes. you blow up on other days. i get you annoyed, frustrated, and even to the point that you'd wanna tear your hair out. sometimes, i think, it's just me. it's never been your fault. always has been me. the troubled one with psychotic tendencies. the paranoid one. the unfair. the unjust. the tyrant. i swear, you deserve someone better. okay, i'll break down now. zzzz Thursday, July 24, 2008, 1:39 AM
 Wohoho. It's back to my old background. I love how theunknown bitch kisses Ryan Ross. I now can look forward to watch another action packed show, since Taufiq already had watched The Dark Knight with his friends- pouts. Being a huge fan of The Mummy series, this has got to be possibly one of the most exciting. BRENDAN FRASER SO CUTE MANSZX!!! AND.. AND.. AND... I got the job at TRU Tampines. *dances in circles* Hopefully, I'll start next week and I'll be able to save enough money for a Pink W580i. Hands off, mine!!! My boyfriend is soooooooooooooo sweeeeeeeeettttttt. I love him to bits and pieces; I do feel like tearing him into bits and pieces actually. He said that he'd buy me a Maple prepaid card every week. I AM SO HAPPY- CAN'T YOU TELL? And just to sidetrack a bit ; Have you realised what you've become? What happened to the old you or was I mistaken? I feel completely indifferent about this whole change; I don't hate it nor do I love it. I am, however, concerned. You tested the water, why play with fire now? Dangerous game you're playing, Youngling. ; Okay, I'll be Mapling now. *beams* Wednesday, July 23, 2008, 12:23 AM
 I'm just feeling so horrible. Apparently the flu virus is rather persistent, yes you heard me, a relapse. Antibiotics do not work. URGH. I slept the entire day, hoping it'd go away when I wake up- I didn't play maple, I didn't call my boyfriend, I didn't go for cheer. NOTE TO SELF: OUH, and Toy's R Us called me up for an interview! I'm so flipping out. Like finally!!! I think I'll do a shopping list and hopefully stick to it. Sunday, July 20, 2008, 10:09 PM
 I've officially gotten over the fact that PSP games are not meant for me. ): Maybe for a few, but I'm just a techno idiot. After some really serious thinking that my wardrobe is probably far more important than a fancy gadget, I was quite mistaken- for my closet cannot possibly hold on to any more pieces. It's frame could possibly shake and crumble soon. The latest aphrodisiac is the DS Lite. Practically half of the people who owns a PSP now chucks it aside for the more dandy and possibly more versatile DS.  Okay, the only reason to why I wanna have it is that there has been rumours that they will/or already have launched a DS version of MAPLE. kill me- now. LOL. So, yet again, another gadget I'm desire for that ONE game. Ridiculous. (: Still, I don't mind. HAHA.  I love lip balms. No, correct that, I love Smackers. (: Seriously, for the love of God, I would want to have them, however, I now no longer trust online bids. LIKE WTF, I ordered my hoodies like 345678billion months ago and she last told me that she JUST sent the orders. Bitch, I don't care if you have O LEVELS or PSLE, or 10 of your aunts died in a plane crash, I transfered you my money, I expect sth in return. Your item need not be delivered at such an incredible rate, but at least have the responsibility to respond to my mails. For now since I've yet to get my hoodies, I shan't reveal the URL- until I'm VERY convinced that she has cheated me of my money. Just to sidetrack a little- and of course complain-, my entire body is aching like crazy. My neck is really stiff- I swear, I think I sprained it a bit. I cannot feel my legs and my arms are so very sore. ): Okay, I will not complain. Exercise is good for you, apparently. Exercise is good. And cheerleading is the most awesome sport. :D Push, push, push. Endure. I love myself. wahaha. You know what's fucking sickening? It's being told what to do, what to wear, who to be with. Really babe, fuck you. Friday, July 18, 2008, 2:33 AM
 At the moment, I'm curled up in bed, snuggled underneath my blanket, thinking that I could just die any moment from now, after being furiously attacked by the monsters invading my immune system. I always imagined my white blood cells as little cute soldiers, defending the castle, made out of my bodily masses of whatever it is that I have inside of me. I yearn and pray to be at my peak in days to come for I've like really important things to do. I'll push. Cause what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.  However, I think Taufiq would totally disagree for he pampers me too much and hates to see me suffer. I love you, baby. (: I seriously wish that my boyfriend's tan is permanent. And I wish that he'd take off those shades for I yearn to see his kind eyes again. ): You don't know how much I need you right now. I miss you though I see you everyday. I deem myself lucky for you'd always make the effort meet me, in spite of the distance. You make 13845 other girls envy me and you know that's what I secretly want. Love is the sacrifice to make someone else happy, and his/her happiness, makes you happy.
urgh. i am so nauseated right now. Sunday, July 13, 2008, 5:52 PM
Although you could have done more  I think, for the first time in my adolescent years, I was complimented on how perky my boobs are. This is a huge ego booster as I've always been compared to my younger sister. I bet she's almost a C cup now. ZZZ. And just to pretend that I've never typed the line above, I'll sidetrack a bit on how bored I am with my 8GB of songs in my iTunes. Spam me with songs, okay. And ya, I'm referring to you, Vicente. Don't be selfish. (: On a random note, I want pretty shiny pink extensions in my hair. (: Nadiah and I were talking about how we feel that Mass Comm students in NP are the elites of the school. They're the 'IT' people, for they're the ones who carry LV, YSL, Prada, and Guicci as school bags! They party every weeknight, and they shop every fucking week. Maybe we are stereotyping, but we honestly believe poor-average people can never survive, in terms of social status in Mass Comm. Streotype, yes. So to all the people out there who plans on taking Mass Comm, I SAY GO- if your parents earn 10k or more each. I never mean to discourage, but it's the scene we see. But if you ever consider going for social suicide, no one is stopping you. Razin is looking for a bassist and a drummer for the band. If you are into grunge, hard rock, like Nirvana or G&R do contact him at: I've met up with some of the BME people again. It's been ages, time has changed, angst diverted- total drama, I'm guessing. Tsk. Why do people lead such eventful lives while I just sit at home and rot till the cows come home? Time is passing by so slowly; I SO FUCKING WANT TO START SCHOOL- 28JULY. I got a tan. So weird. I've always had that olive-brown kinda tone, being tan makes me feel partly, well, Indian. LOL. Babykins too got slightly darker. I LIKE MANZXS!  Matrep with a girl in a pretty pink dress.  He looks so mat, I cannot stand it.  He bought for me after our trip to the beach.  and the reason to why he is wearing shades everywhere: HE GOT SWOLLEN EYELIDS. Zzz Saturday, July 12, 2008, 4:53 AM
You're a part time fucker and a full time ass The whore on your back is the latest trend I don't see what anyone can see in you Yes, you Let's start with the fact on how bloody pissed I am with a conniving son of a gun, whose name escapes me at the moment. A big fuck you, Fucker. After all that I did for you, worthless insect, you had to fucking stab me in the back. Thanks a lot for making my last memories of the times when I was there for you, account to nothing. For one, I sealed my mouth for you to save you from yourself. I can so fucking destroy you with just a click of the mouse. And just maybe I know of a particular someone who lives like just across the street from mine. It's such a convenience to blurt and spill out every naughty deed. Tsk, tsk. Someone's not getting anything from Santa this year. Swine. I can safely say now that nobody has your back now. A leach, that's what you are. You are manipulative, dishonest, and a true motherfucker. For one, I don't care if you fucking hate me, cause honestly, nobody likes you either. Your hatred for me for ever bruising your giant-size of an ego is actually nothing compared to the rest who simply hates your fucking guts. Maybe a few pity at your plague of social suicide talks to you. I cannot fucking tolerate that you brought my boyfriend into the picture and demean and degrade him at things that I know that he is sensitive about. Fuck you, you freak, my boyfriend is twice the man you are. You're a pussy, cause only pussies like you back stab. Thanks for the icing on the cupcake, this is probably the best post ever. Do you just hate seeing people who are not as miserable as you? Friday, July 11, 2008, 5:23 AM
I need a new cupboard instead of new clothes. I've got ten sets of bras and 26 pairs of panties, but I have no idea where to put them. They were on sale, 2 pairs of bras for 26SGD, so my aunt bought them lor. I need a makeshift drawer, if that's possible. zzz. Ikea, anyone? I'm starting to believe that my paternal relatives are extremely drama. They were talking about practically everything during the taxi ride. I am so tired of hearing things about Uncle A, B, C, Betina 1, 2, 3 and X, Y, Z. Suddenly, it seems much greener on the other side of the world. Some random photos just to change topic- LOL, I LEARNT THIS LINE FROM XIAXUE.  dumb.  Blowjob. LOL And lastly, a picture to ponder about.  WTF IS THAT WHITE THING ON THE TOPLEFT? I secretly thank myself for not buying a kickass awesome 5mgp camera phone, cause it was any clearer, or anything out of the fucking ordinary, I would be crying right now. Maybe it's nothing special, eh? LOL. MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST SO CUTE. I drew this for him just hours ago. We were arguing about friendster pictures. I knew it was my fault, so unlike other days where he'd give in and claim the fault was his, I did this:  I think he was happy to have gotten it for I clearly have drawn him in a Brazilian jersey- he really believes that he's actually some what Brazilian for he reckoned(OR WISHED)that his football skills are that as superior as those of them from Brazil- which now clearly conclude on how delusional he is. Or maybe the change in me that I would even say "Sorry". He then declared to me that he would upload it on friendster to probably prove to the world that his girlfriend does have a heart, and that she is pretty humane after all in spite of her psychotic mind games of torture and pain. Not only that, he made it clear (and got me really happy for no reason) that it was drawn by me. For no one is possibly deemed "Sayang" to him other than me- at least, that's what I hope so. MUAHAH. OUH. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE GOOGLED 'MEGAT SHAH REZZA' AND ENDED UP IN MY BLOG, DO TAG. AND IF YOU ARE MEGAT, DO TAG. Tuesday, July 08, 2008, 7:20 PM
I got an uncle who suffers from Down Syndrome. He's 41, loves KFC and plays with toy cars. Just this year, the family hired a maid to take care of him. It's not easy taking care of special people like him. I see her waking up at mad hours just to check up on him. He'd usually be in the toilet. Playing with the running water and a bar of soap sometimes. He'd pee on the floor, and she'd promptly clean his mess. He'd even leave his dung on the corridor sometimes. She'd promptly clean that up too. I'd talk to her sometimes. And she rarely complains. Maybe she does, I mean, who wouldn't? She's a maid. Untrained to take care people like him. She could choose to give up on him and run to another family who just needs the house cleaned and the food cooked. Maybe to take care of a few kids. yet she's still here. She'd play with him, talk to him, tease him. yeah, her cooking isn't uber fantastic. but she does the job. it's not like she sleeps all day and not do her chores. I've seen her doing chores tons of times, and once she is done, she'd entertain my uncle. She does this, everyday when the aunts are not around. And they are only around for like 3 months a year, at least. What do you know? But my aunts don't see that. Even Alya don't see that. All you people know is complain. Ungrateful. What you don't see, you don't know. Fuck you, stereotyping and judging. How are you to judge, if you don't see? Other maids would have abused him. Hit him. Hate him. But she doesn't. In fact, she could possibly, not love, but grown fond of him. I've seen what she does. have you? Labels: Bibik, foreign workers, Indonesian Maid Monday, July 07, 2008, 5:43 AM
 I do not understand myself. SUNDAY: 4MONTHS (: I think I celebrated to that coming for nearly a week. Watched Hancock at DTE again. It is the most happening place in the East side, yo. In fact, I made it my favourite place to be at on weekdays. FUCK THE WEEKENDS. RUINED EVERYTHING. I HATE THE CROWD. I HATE THE TICKET PRICES THAT PRACTICALLY DOUBLED ON WEEKENDS. I HATE THE CROWD. I HATE BEING IN THE CROWD. IT'S JUST THE CROWD. Ouh. The crowd tripled today. Thanks to the Cosfest. I HATE FAT JAP ANIME COSPLAYERS WHO TRY TO ACT CHIO WITH THEIR SLUTTY GET-UPS. YOU'RE FAT, BITCH. TRIPLE CHIN, LARD CLOGGED ARTERY, CELLULITE-D ASS FAT! LIKE, WHAT THE DUCK! SATURDAY: Vicente, the pinoy matrep, and some others whom I do not know, other than Jovan, had organized this little party at NP. There was music, cool make do with light sticks, drinks, and dance. I should seriously started joining them in the dance way before the end. SHY LAH. lol. I still think it was great. I miss NP lots. Sigh. Ironically, Pearlyn, Alvin and Stanley from Xinghua had joined us as well. They are some what connected with one of them organizers. Current craze: This is the Malay version of Ultraman Taro's opening song. Kelantanese. I need you with me I'm not gonna lie Thursday, July 03, 2008, 12:02 PM
We is be: Last night, I hung up on the phone rather early for I wanted to let my boyfriend have a good night's rest. I know he's extremely anxious to get his Lee Cooper tee that I just bought for him. I could hear him sniff and choke in tears; he really wanted that shirt but he never had a chance to buy it for he's always splurging on me.  I feel a huge sense of satisfaction knowing he'd love it. (: Anyway, I was quite restless, and Hadzah, couldn't sleep for she had drunk a gallon of coffee. We ended up bitching about her friend, her bf of forever, told ghost stories and stuff that happened back in her secondary school days. Sometimes, two people try. They try so hard to make things work. To make themselves feel good for a change. They deny the realism on how it's not meant to be. They deny it and even believe what they had is real. Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 9:41 PM
Currently: (: I take back what I said two days before. The moment I woke up today, I realised, you are everything that I could ever dream about. And I'm yours, darling. I'm yours. MONDAY Made an impromptu decision(can decisions be deemed as impromptu? I lack of a better word. for all i know, IT WAS RANDOM) to head to Sentosa, with my boyfriend. I swear, I had a lot of fun. It was one of first out of many dates that we spent so little cash. (:  We could kill everyone  Yes, pout for me, you slutty beast!  I. AM. SO. FLAT. TUESDAY Met up with my sister to go shopping. She had 200bucks at hand, of the 50SGD, she willingly handed to me. All the money gone in a day, after a top, a pair of shades, a belt, and a really lovely purse from Billabong. The woman knows how to blow her dough. WEDNESDAY I finally had my teeth checked. Had them cleaned, scraped, and polished. I saw all the black and yellow tartar on the sink as I spat out my bloody saliva. Ouh, I salivated heavily. LOL. The dentist then taught me how to brush my teeth- the way we were taught in primary school was apparently half wrong. He then casually told me that I need braces and an extraction of my extra tooth. I FEEL MONSTROUS. Like seriously, how many people have an extra tooth? Maybe a lot, but still, it's like having an extra chromosome!! ok, exaggeration, BUT STILL. ZOMG, ZOMG. Later at night, I got bored staying alone at Admiralty, so I burnt some time by doing a little shopping. I blew close to $80. BUT IT WAS SO FUCKING WORTH IT. I'm so happy now. ------------- Reasons to why I need a job, fast.
I WANT TO WORK. BLEAH. |
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