Behind The Masquerade

2009-05-18T04:57:00.002+08:00

Siti/Hammy/Chitty/Cheetszxxz/Santi/Hamster has moved. Because stalkerish personalities are creepy and are not welcomed.

My affections are not won by competing for it. Cause I won't care who gave me the best presents or the best meals. I AM NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON!

it was good until you went on an overhaul. You even freaked my mother out!

And then you didn't wanna be friend anymore, blocked me from everything even after I told you not to. You did anyway. I'M DISPOSABLE NOW? No wait, it's more of recyclable. take me back when you feel that you need me, and chuck me aside for awhile cause you cannot take, then repeat. IT'S THAT CONVENIENT.

Then you went back and started talking to me again. Unblocked me from everything and you still wonder why I'm mad? SERIOUSLYY!!! "I had my reasons for doing so". like duh! What am I? A child?

kalau da ludah, takmu nak jilat balik ah. You've disregarded me as a friend even if it was that spur of an emo moment. boleh blah ah!

Ask me personally for my url.

p.s
Nothing was ever broken so it doesn't need any fixing.

2009-05-10T23:35:00.003+08:00

whatever. bleargh.

I sincerely wish, for the sanity of everyone involved, that you people would just move on.
If you dearly must mention them, please do so where the world don't see it.

from today onwards, I don't exist. AT ALL.
time to permanently move to eljay .

2009-05-10T02:32:00.008+08:00

Meet my cousin's new born baby! The 2month old Adam Razaki- seriously, I think my cousins have a flare of naming their kids. It's nothing fancy but it sounds good and it has a great meaning. OKAY LAH, i just hate minahs and mats who dunno how to name their children.

Asked Taufiq along for the gathering (: I was so happy that he could make it. I mean, he's just so shy. And he didn't disappoint my baby cousin Aini- you know, I like the name suddenly.it also means 'love you' in chinoneh! lulz- who was all over him. She is so mentel beyond comparison.

skank seh.
Okay, joke.

Aini made him do this for half million times. I swear, the girl's probably ADHD or sth like that. She cannot sit still at all!

Durrah Hannah is so cute. She was babbling about whatever and her mother just entertains her like as if she understood.

Omg, I just love all the miniloves in the family. Too bad the twins weren't around. I'm guessing it would be epic to have them there.

After that, we left the house and went to have dinner with Taufiq's family. I'll add the photos once they are uploaded. (:

after that- yes the night didn't end at 10pm darling- I went over to meet my lepak gang. JAN WAS OUT FOR THE NIGHT, i've missed him. and I realised that he had missed a few episodes in my life. ((:

He's gonna book in today i reckon. )): another week without lepak session is pretty depressing.

Melancholic (Earth)

You put great value in family and organization and the order of how things should be done. You are loyal and take pride in being a dependable person. You are careful to be fair and just in everything you do, but because of your care, some people may perceive you as strict or picky rather than the real you that is careful and discriminate. An Affirmation for you would be: I will... Harnass the capacity to link, nurture, and sustain. Balance my devotion to my relationships with solitude and self-expression Develop self-reliance as well as build community.

2009-05-09T01:54:00.004+08:00

sitihamidah has officially lost it.
she fuckin lost it.
she somehow has lost track of time in spite of having a watch.
Lost track of what day it is
despite the fact that she has a calendar, an organizer and whatever else that tells you the days.
now she's on panic mode
cause nothing is in her control.
yes every thing is not in control.

I CANNOT STAND IT

I must get a grip.
and slowly pick up the days I've messed up in one way or another.
Snap back into reality
and of course
get everything in order.

no. i'm not okay.
how can I be okay when nothing is going how I plan it to go.
OMG

i cant stand myself. i feel like crying. urgh
I wish i was more laid back.

2009-05-07T16:17:00.003+08:00

skinny bitches

I cannot stand Taylor Momsen (yup, that's her alright). Not only is she freakin' juvenile (she's barely 16?), she stands at a staggering 169cm and weighs only 108 pounds or 48kilograms. I've recently checked the scale, and found out that I weight 46kg, but I look nothing like that woman!

Michelle Trachtenberg is gorgeous. I love her pale white skin and her big blue eyes and her big wide mouth, that probably can stuff more than two whatevers you can think of. ANYWAYS, I hate life. WHY CAN'T I LOOK LIKE THAT? CB.

Lose weight.
Get stronger.
Grow hair longer.
Get it smoothened for fuck's sake.
Get whitening cleanser, moisturizer and toner with SPF100 if that's even possible, cause apparently you ran out of them.

2009-05-06T15:23:00.005+08:00

I have school later and I have no cash on me at all.
I think I want to skip class today since that's the case.

CAN EVERYONE STOP USING THE WORD "SWINE" LIKE AS IF YOU'VE LEARNT IT FUCKING YESTERDAY? DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER FUCKING READ?

OUH WOW, SWINE, WHAT A COOL WORD TO CALL SOMEONE A PIG.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE YOU, STUPID CUNTS;

PORCINE.

SEE. DON'T FEEL A LITTLE BIT MORE INTELLIGENT NOW??

none of you deserve to breathe the air that i breathe!

2009-05-04T03:47:00.003+08:00

and if I last through the winter I swear to you now, I won't call

I cannot comprehend the fact that I actually like this band. For one, none of them are actually hot. Lulz. yeah, I am that superficial when it comes to boys. pretty boys. sigh.

Meet the aphrodisiac;

Maybe I got a problem with boys with tattoos.
Nice tattoos. Not those koi fish and sleeping Buddha kinds.
I mean, before Pete Wentz did the unthinkable, a.k.a getting married to that thing, I worshiped him.

or

I just like boys with bangs.
Which is why I don't love Taufiq anymore cause he snipped them off even after I begged, cried and pleaded him not to.

lolz. baby, i joke. you know I'll love you (:

2009-05-03T23:56:00.003+08:00

where ever you go

Give me time to think about you had asked.
Yes, i'm half hearted.
Cause I started this with you, and it's only right if I go all the way with you.
You have my loyalty, taicho (:

i think i'm going to update on my livejournal more often.

2009-05-01T09:31:00.002+08:00

about a boy

There's not a single pretentious bone in him, neither there is a single drop of evil in his eyes. He's the only person whose reputation can never ever be tainted in my eyes. I love you, Kucinta, my fatty cat. You're the sweetest boy in the world and I can't wait for the many adventures yet to come. I swear, I feel like as if I watched you grow up in front of me. I love you baby, even if you always end up cutting your hair like kontol like that, and even if you enjoy giving the most vacant and cb expression in photos, you are still the cutest and the best. ily.

K.
Going out with Denvers' GGG Love. I cannot wait (:

2009-04-30T09:23:00.005+08:00

aurora

Razin and I were exchanging comments about this video, in a musical perceptive, however I can no longer suppress my glee at how ridiculous Lacey looks. She looks like as if she would breakdown anytime!

to azmi and zaki, thank u for the effort. i'm sorry that i couldnt wake up. Thanks for the early birthday gifts. I FUCKIN CANNOT BELIEVE YOU BOUGHT EVERYTHING ON THAT LIST!- yes even the cheerleading tank top from NUM; you pre-ordered it some more! WTF.

I cannot wait for the picnic with Denvers tomorrow!!!
All the stunting, the photo taking, and of course, THE FOOD. ((:

Dearest Azi wrote this note on FB. I SO UNDERSTAND LAH. Knn. it's so sweet.

Can you boyfriend be like this, ever?

PCD says "I Don't need a man". True. But I want a man for the following reasons...

1. Not to buy me diamonds or pearls or rubies or emeralds or flowers. But to buy me Whisper ultra thin with wings and Panadols when that time comes. To surprise me with macaroons when I'm craving for it without having to even mention it. And if I'm really pissed and all else doesn't work...last resort...white lilies or roses...but this will only work once. Only once.

Taufiq: Baby, which one? SO MANY.
Taufiq: MAXI? WINGS? FOR WHAT? FLY AH!?
thank you baby. I know i embarrassed you that one time. (:

2. To hold my hair when I'm throwing up...whether it's cos of stomach flu or when I get morning sickness in the future.

3. To hold my hand when we are crossing the road or walking on slippery paths and catch me when I fall. Not laugh at me. Ok maybe can laugh for a while but after that you jolly well better buy me a chocolate or something.

This means every road baby. NOT JUST THE ONES WE JAYWALKED ACROSS

4. To let me cry when I'm watching a sad sad movie or when I'm just PMSy. Don't ask me not to cry. Let me cry and gently brush away the tears from my cheeks. Better still - kiss away my tears.

5. Plan the future with me. Make me excited about what tomorrow will be like for us. There's a reason why I play RPGs and Sims; I'm a planner. I like planning and envisioning a future with my man.

YAHHHHHHH. AND DON'T FREAK OUT LIKE AS IF I'M ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME TOMORROW.

6. Stand up for me but let me fight my own battles. If someone insults me feel free to jump in and break his nose... Ok maybe not but it'll be really nice if my man can slip into that dangerous Roarke like skin and just look at that idiot...the particular look which says "Be afraid...be really afraid..." But at times, let me fight my own battle. Let me outwit that bitch at work on my own or out perform the ***** a**h*** who looked down on me with his or her pointy little nose. Just let me know that he has my back and that he believes I can win this war.

you so know how to do this.

7. Lie to me. When I'm having a bad hair day or when I'm especially PMSy or I've got a huge pimple on my nose, lie to me. Tell me I'm beautiful. Cos baby if I don't think I look good, I won't feel good and I won't be treating you good. Occasional lies will do...not like everyday kind. Gauge my mood. If my self esteem is really really really bottom pit low, you won't be struck by lightning trying to raise my spirits a bit.

you lie everyday about this

8. Give me that look. You know which look I'm talking about. The one which says, "Oh yeah that's my woman...Isn't she just so fine...." The look which is meant just for me. The one with the spark. The one where when our eyes connect there's no one else in the world other than the two of us. The one look which tells me there's no one else he would rather be with than me...

yes, i love that look. i feel like ripping off your face from your head.

9. Show me off. Not literally but he can do it really casually...mention off hand to his mama how yummy my brownies ah...or he can let his friends know how yummy I am :P ok maybe not. But seriously once in a while, I want a man who lets me feel how proud he is of me and not hiding me in some dark corner of his closet.

Your aunt to you: How's Ain? Very long I never see her.
Taufiq: (laughs) Eh, that's our secret aunty! Don't tell everyone in this room about Ain!

10. Humour me. When I want to walk in the rain once in a while why not? If I've got an urge for ice cream get me to the nearest B&J. When I go on and on about a competition I involve in he can act disinterested and then show up on the actual day :)

YES BABY, B&J! and no, don't think of removing the '&', you sick shit.

So how? Am I that demanding?

peace people. I WANT MY MUMMY TO COME BACK AND HAVE MY BREAKFAST )):
and of course tell her that I'm called 'Ain' now.

2009-04-28T12:30:00.005+08:00

heaven knows i'm falling

There's a few things that I wished I was doing in this amazing weather; it's pouring with lightning and thunder and everything wet that comes with it.
1) SLEEPING
2) playing in the raining holding onto a pink umbrella and hugging my boyfriend who would probably say, "Are you happy now that you got my hair all wet now?," perplexed but smiling anyway.

Sigh, i just love it when it rains.

Happy 21st JY! ((:

I'm not really enthusiastic about my birthday this year. I just know, it's gonna suck so bad. it's gonna mark the end of my teenage life. ouh well.

I want sushi for my birthday.
(:

2009-04-27T05:40:00.001+08:00

victory

this song rocks. (:

i'll triumph, and rub it in your face to how much of a loser and failure you are.

2009-04-24T23:35:00.007+08:00

senyum sampai ke gusi

I'M HAPPY TODAY, SO THE POST WILL BE FILLED WITH COLOURS! (:

I got yet another distinction; only this time it's the higher distinction xp

I'm so addicted to DW.

Taufiq is gonna pass me Warriors Orochi later in the morning. Ily((:

2009-04-24T10:07:00.002+08:00

if i could pull the trigger to your head i would

I will now relentlessly bitch; no holds barred.

I feel that the moment you are titled an 'aunt', something would fucking go haywire in your brain and you say and think of the uncanniest things. I seriously believe the genetically mutated personality was catalyzed by just one thought, which is money and greed.

Cb.

Talk about my mother like that. nb, she your sister also, knn. You all shunned them and turn them down when they were in need. WE TOOK THEM INTO OUR HUMBLE HOME AND YOU NOW SAY ALL SORT OF SHIT ABOUT US. i hope god never forgive any of you.

2009-04-23T01:37:00.004+08:00

the simple you

I've never really had Ne-Yo on repeat ever until today. Cause I remembered something he had said before;

"Whenever we fight, I'd listen to this song," he said, as he snugged the headset earphone onto my ears.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

HAVE YOU SEEN SINGA?

The G'Love brothers, Huda, and I went on a hunt for them.
K LAH, HOW MANY THOUSANDS OF SINGA PHOTOS HAVE YOU SEEN AROUND LATELY?

tsk, i miss you lah, my fatty cat. ):

2009-04-22T09:43:00.002+08:00

ALL THAT FROM JUST KNOWING MY FAVOURITE COLOURS!

but this is so true in so many levels

read: BE MORE FLEXIBLE.
lol

It's about time you give up, right?

2009-04-22T05:24:00.002+08:00

atas nama cinta

I love love love love cheerleading (:

Idk why I am saying all these. I just enjoyed last night's cheer session (: I think it's because I found out that Mel and MH are Bleach fans too! Yay.

I love denvers lahhh.

K, I want DW6. lawl, i'm an addict.

I'm very depressed tbh. I haven't been wearing make-up for the past few days as I'm now allowing my skin to 'breathe' a little ever since the second trip to Sentosa. I'm still freaking out at how dark I look. I can't stand it. You have no idea how many gallons of whitening and sun-protecting creams I gunked onto my skin.

My depleting supply of make up is depressing too. Now that I don't work, I can no longer indulge in my monthly make up spree. Tsk. I'm sorry, Chels, I've yet to pay up for my eye shadow. I still love you though. ((:

i think i now official realize that, hey, I NEED A JOB lolz

2009-04-21T10:28:00.002+08:00

if only

CB LAH. I can't stand this sing-through-the-nose vox, Andrew De Torres. fuckin' rubbish. However, this song is nice. lyrically. nothing more.

Something's been eating me up
It's 4 in the morning my eyes should be shut
Is it cold where you're sleeping,
Do you keep on wishing that someday I might just show up.
Remember the plans that we made?
About getting married and where we would stay
Do you still hope we end up that way?
Cause I know I've been praying each day

so... yup. other than that, it's fucking nonsense.

i really miss you.

2009-04-21T06:27:00.002+08:00

paranormal

i wonder why you'd do this to yourself.

I solemnly swear that I'd never ever go back home late alone again. Fuckin' cbomg.

2009-04-18T03:47:00.002+08:00

defeated

this is see you later, cause i'm not into good byes.
and yeah, it's for you too.

2009-04-17T00:39:00.005+08:00

I ♥ NY

I was sulking the whole afternoon because my boyfriend refused to go to ECP to eat IceCream Chef with me. He said it was impractical and he had curfew and all the fuckin' nonsense that I don't understand because I hadn't bother to care about how he felt cause I'm a bitch like that.

We finally agreed to go to CityHall to get some Japanese parfait. However, we stopped at our tracks the moment we landed our eyes on NYNY. It was a unanimous decision that we would eat like the Yankees that night.

My boyfriend loved the feel of the place; i swear to god, i don't know why; to which he explained that it's so NY-ish. duh. -_- He liked the service best though in my opinion, they were pretty slow. THEY WERE NICE THOUGH. (:

When Fatty Cat's chicken chop came, I was impressed. The portion was very generous compared to other places. And we saw that the seafood platter was to die for. I WISHED I HAD IT )):

WAFFLES ((: Gelare still beats this any day. However, it's still, well, nice.... i suppose...

TEHEHE, MY FATTY CAT IS SO CUTE ((:

Tehehe, i'm so mentel. Mentel, bukan mental tau.

The esplanade never looked this pretty.

I love you so much Fatty Cat ((:

2009-04-16T05:07:00.002+08:00

world wonder

I wonder why do people have to actually second guess themselves by taking nonsensical personality quizzes over and over again. It's like they are reassuring themselves and reminding the damn world that, "Hey, see, you're wrong about me! I am right about how I think of myself! THE QUIZ IS PROOF."

Yeah, right.

-Don't act smart. Personality quizzes are easily manipulated so you get what you want to see.

2009-04-16T04:24:00.004+08:00

sunday romance

I just got off the phone; I was complaining to my boyfriend that I have this huge craving for ice cream. )): He quickly had this brilliant idea to bring me somewhere for ice cream later. I CANNOT WAIT LAHH. Someone bring me Solero lime please- no shops in punggol have this ice cream. I find it incredibly stupid because Solero is THE ice lolly to have in a blazing hot SG. Plus, isn't it THE staple/common icecream in every 7-11? It's like Magnum ice cream and Cornetto. I don't fucking understand why they don't have Solero here. fuck my life. Lolsz

I'm very hyper as well. I wanna go cheerleading, however, the next training is on Saturday, since I have school on Friday and that I'm rambling nonsense, and i don't understand why you bother to read to this line here, for now you've realised that you have actually wasted that few seconds to read the next paragraph which could be of interest to you, but no, you're still at this paragraph, and you feel like i have too much time on my hands to actually say all this out. bleaghhh

ANYWAYS,
I love HIMYM. ((: it is win!
HIMYM > ALL. The hilarity is so simple. Like what Shafiq had said, "The thing I like about HIMYM is that I can actually imagine all of us together one day, when we get older, doing the exact same thing."

Sigh, Shafiq, you have a way of moving me to tears with your words. It's in a good way, sometimes. At other times, I want to cry in disdain to how ridiculously stupid you are. ((:

Now that it's the season finale, I will emo till the next season starts. ouh well.

This mv reminds me to how I wish I can actually take photographs in the rain and not care about how the world think of me, whether i'm silly to get myself all wet and probably end up with a cold the next day, or it's that i'm probably damaging the camera or anything else along that line.

we all want to be carefree, but there are just too many consequences in life. sigh.

This is such a bummer entry.

2009-04-14T02:30:00.003+08:00

cause that's what friends are for

Revisting Sentosa with a few of the Denvers people was very fun. I think I laughed until my tummy hurts so bad. Azlina and I were to seated in that position for like a really long time for we feared for our lives then. The water was so deep. TEHEHEHAHAHEHUHUBUTOHBAPAKKAUGILER.

Today, Zaki and I went over to TTSH to visit our mums. My mum was doing the afternoon shift, while his mum was warded one floor below. LULZ. small world. He saved me from a barking mad dog.

urgh. whatever...

I'm just tired looking forward to cheerleading tomorrow. (:

2009-04-12T00:47:00.002+08:00

what gives?

You do realise on how absurd it was to have made your analogy of "How I wished My Girlfriend Wasn't A Cheerleader"; Care factor of 10, but sense factor of zero. It defies all logic to the point that I actually wonder if you had thought about it at all.

Perhaps you lack trust with my bases; WAIT, STRIKE THAT. You don't trust my friends, whom i apparently depend on to save me from breaking a spine and neck almost everyday. I don't understand to how it never actually sank into that thick skull of yours that cheerleading is and will always be a contact sport, involving boys. No wait, not boys, men.

welcome to reality pretty boy, nothing is fair.

2009-04-11T02:13:00.004+08:00

for the sky's the limit

Denvers' training held at Marina Barrage (:

My first extension on land! As tall as the Singapore Flyer okay! lulz

I was so surprised on how stable Jimmy is. WAH. idk how he control...

Please watch the supergirl wannabe fly...

... to reach the moon and stars!

First time I stunt single base with Harlis. My taicho is pro manxxx.

I suppose inexperienced flyers tend to trust experienced bases. However, I think that I would do with whoever, just as long as they are bigger than I am.
K, i'm tired, and happy. And of course, very accomplished.

YAY, MORE CHEERLEADING LATER IN THE AFTERNOON. Must try liberty and cupie!

2009-04-09T04:32:00.002+08:00

grumbles

Blast the skies; Zaki and I have been postponing our shoot ever since the rains mercilessly poured in around March. April has been anything but forgiving, with the cloudly skies and hot drizzles. Having been out practically everyday, I was caught in one of those barely there rains; i call them,"the-confirm-get-sick-the-next-day-rains". Sigh. so true.

Daddykins grabbed my arm the other than and said that I'm getting too skinny. LOL. RUBBISH. I don't think i've been doing anything to control my weight, imo.

I WENT JOGGING WITH MY BOYFRIEND YESTERDAY MORNING. omg, I wanted to die after the first 100m. T_T &My legs were already aching from the training day before; thanks ah hakim for the toe touch exercises! Anyways, my boyfriend is the best pacer, ever. Cause he's super nice. I refused to jog after awhile. Tehehe. The irony of the fact that I was the one who called him up at 5am and suggested it.

I dread to go the toilet now. I DREAD TO EVEN SIT. My thighs are aching, but I will endure cause cheerleading is what i love (:

you don't know how it feels to be right under your arms and feeling your heaving chest. iloveyou fattycat.

2009-04-06T06:46:00.004+08:00

adore

I doubt that words can comprehend the depths to how I feel.
I let you, let your heart win.
Do you worship me so much so that you listen to everything I ask of you?
Slap me for being overly delusional, but I'd understand why people hate me so.
Cause you adore me so.
I pull the strings and you'd do the bidding.
I can't stop this enchantment,
I'm sorry, there isn't a spell to stop this curse.

2009-04-05T19:17:00.003+08:00

no matter what

I realise that no matter how distant we are, I still have a small but significant influence in you. Maybe I'm just over thinking it, like how I would always over-analyze your words, and everyone elses'.

2009-04-04T00:24:00.004+08:00

finally, after so long

Harlis finally uploaded this photo up on FB. Extension. (: I am so proud of myself then. I can't wait for cheer later this afternoon!

I had so much fun with my boyfriend last night. (: I don't know how long has it been since we last went out without having to pull each others' hair out. Anyway, sth is dead wrong about the new menu at Pastamania. Ever since it went all halal, it doesn't taste as good. Now you know why they put a dash of wine into your pasta.

The toilets at GWC are so nice. They have like weird themes for each level of the toilets.

And yeah, that's the cubicles. teehehee.

YOU COULD HAVE LIED TO ME
but noooo...

k bye

2009-04-01T05:44:00.000+08:00

if only you could understand

Aduhai cenderawasih pintamu keterlaluan
Kau inginkan hamba kalungkan bulan
Kau kepinginkan kerabu dari bintang berkerdipan
Kau dambakan rantai untaian buih lautan

I didn't asked for the impossible, did I?

2009-03-30T12:37:00.002+08:00

just an ordinary boy,
but he was looking to the sky

I'm now charred at the shoulders, while my face have blotchy spots. It's so fuckin' gross. And to think that people had said that I have relatively nice complexion. Sunblock, doesn't help if you're at the beach for hours. My usual regime of sunblock, moisturiser, white base, and foundation, didn't at all protect my skin from the unforgiving blaze of the UV rays. Trust me, every single on of them supposedly have SPF. I shall now patiently wait for my skin to peel off like a reptile shedding it's scales.

ONE PAPER DOWN! it was well, difficult. I have 9(plus, minus)errors!

So many people are leaving. OMG ):

2009-03-29T18:36:00.003+08:00

sun, sand, and cheerleaders

the weather was beautiful yesterday. The sky was awesome, and the sun merrily blazing, burning the sand and slowly, our skins. At the moment, my skin is etched with a really terrible on and off tingling sensation.

Reasons to why I must lose weight. SO I CAN BE LIKE THEM.... they have no tummy at all. why am i the only one with pork belly and cowtits??

TODAY'S WEATHER IS SUCH A BITCH. I'M SO HAPPY TO BE AT HOME :D

Monday -Friday: STORMS AND THUNDER.

What exactly do you want from me? Haven't I given it all to you and for you? Don't make the you're being unfair to me excuse, for if you are then you're telling me that then how fair is that to me? coop me up like a chicken and tie me to the waist; who do you think you are? it's how my life is. you say how could i be so comfortable with them so fast... If i don't, do you think they would be comfortable around me? THEY'RE PART OF MY TEAM. and since you've never been part of one before, let me tell you this; as long as you're in a team, we must learn to trust each other no matter how short of a timespan I've known them. you can just fuckin' die for all i fuckin' care if you fuckin' have a problem with that.

Monday: early childhood development exams. wish me luck, for i'd need it.

2009-03-28T04:14:00.003+08:00

i'll get through today like how i did yesterday

I need to rest.

how long should i wait?

2009-03-27T06:39:00.002+08:00

and we got everybody saying, WOAH!

lol. idk where i got this from.

I'm so relieved that I handed in my assignment, and done my project. BOTH DONE IN 48HOURS! Wah. I can't believe it myself. I dare say that I did really well for both. :D

So, the following days isn't anything less than exciting

Friday's presentation. Saturday's Denvers' outing- IT'S EARTH DAY, LEAVE HOME! IT'D BE SWELTERING MINDFUCK HOT INDOORS. Sunday's probably the shoot with my cousin and his fiancee, along with Zaki. Monday's exams.

P.s: YOU NEED A DAMN ORGANIZER DAMNITTTT. REMEMBER LAST WEEK????!! your days are jammed packed and it's not getting any better. you don't have enough sleep. AND YOU'RE GETTING FAT. get a pretty organizer for you'd die without one.

2009-03-26T16:07:00.003+08:00

sickening

kalau da kes takde maruah, aper lagi, kikis jer harta orang. i give you love, you give me money, honey. Eh, da macam pelacur kat geylang pulak. siaper tak gembira kalau terima barang for free.
mintak jer. tentu dapat.

sayang dier, entah tidak. sayang duit dier? eh, siaper yang tak suke duit. siaper yang tak suke harta. yang rugi, entah siaper lah eh. asalkan kiter bahagia.

kalau semua perempuan da macam kau, lelaki yang ader otak da jadi gay. this is one of the damn reasons why more girls go to hell. unlike your guccis and LV bags, you don't have any self worth.

2009-03-25T03:27:00.002+08:00

HUNGER PANGS

i want bbq stingray and cockles so fuckin' badly.

and blogger's being a cb just now. idk why.

I'm really hungry. sigh. gotta eat real quick and get back to my project. OMG, I CAN TASTE THE FREEDOM ALREADY. After this, it'd be exams (:

MAGGIE MEE....
-grumbles-

2009-03-24T05:25:00.003+08:00

paint your picture in ink

I sometimes wonder to why I bother to study so hard, but to never be taken seriously, because of my gender. No one listens to me even though im obviously right. kepala butoh.

If you undermine my ability to think and all that, why have me into the conversation to discuss about the matter, only to have it dismissed? I'm so sick of it. If my opinion was that important, or mattered at all, why not take it into account? From the very start, I knew that you didn't care what I had to say, cause you, being you, will forever be ignorant about the facts.

Perceptions are perceptions, but there should be a reason to why, you always do the same thing and end up with the same results. Just because i cant agree with your opinion, means i'm that narrow minded. I AM JUST RIGHT.

It's not about ego or anything like that.
Let's talk about stats about how many times I've been right,
on how many times I had said: I told you so.
On how many times I've made a point yet you fail to see
it until the very last moments.

I say things not for the sake of being right. I say things cause of one thing: IT'S JUST GOOD FOR YOU.
fags

just fuck off. and don't you just think i'm referring on just one person.

I'll be pretentious by ending this post with a happy photo.

2009-03-23T03:15:00.003+08:00

sally can wait

I feel like crying a bucketful of tears as I intensely stare at Chase Crawford's perfectly angular face and perfect dark eyes for I'll know that to have boys molded like him, is God's gift, once in every few billion years. It is because of the media and inhumanely beautiful creatures like him, do girls have the most unrealistic expectations of men. Forgive me guys, but that's how the media put it. YOU REALLY DO HAVE TO SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET, MOUNTED ON A SILVER STEED.

Unless you have eyes set to kill like these.

FUNNY STORY;

I was at a bus stop when a bunch of mutts came along, and attacked me with their subtle remarks.

Mat 1: eh, muker dier sek menet ah. (CB BUTOH WTF. pronouncing it better would sound like a compliment, tyvm. REPEAT AFTER ME: SEX MAG-NET. urgh)
Mat 2: fierce ah dier. pakai baju tiger. (when my dress is printed black and white.)
Mat 1: IT'S A ZEBRA RIGHT?

so it ended there cause their bus arrived.

lol factor: 11/10

I've come to realise that now,
I am hopeless in directions.
roads, maps, streets, turns.
I don't know how I'll ever make it in life.
lol
fail.

Anyway, my sister
is scary whenever she smiles. I was very sure, she had a murderous intend to kill. It's one of those grins that you could vividly imagine her having fox ears twitching and the tail wagging in mischief. perhaps, I'm used to her foul moods.
Again, I'm allowing my imagination to run wild.

BUT IT'S TRUE.
she's scary.

2009-03-20T14:02:00.002+08:00

it takes an acquired mind to taste this wine

I think I have very freaking resonable reasons to be god damn selfish.
Because for one,
my possessions, are mine to keep, never yours to indulge as when as you please. For it is after all, mine.

I never lose my things.

To lose, is my way of misplacing. For eventually, i'd get it back. I know myself. I know where I place my things. Have I ever once told mummy and daddy I lost a wallet, a hp, or anything else for that matter? Maybe my books I do toss it aside and i'd be scrambing to find it the next time, but eventually, it'd be there. I'm catious. That catious of my important possesions, even if they are just material things. Cause I know how much they cost, I know how difficult it is to attain cash. I'd double check, triple check my ezlink to make sure it's still with me. Check to see if I still have my phone in my bag if it's been too long since I last touched it. Get unreasonably insecure when I can't find my wallet through the mountains of the other pouches in my bag. However, in the end, they'd still be with me.

This is why I'm very hesitant to lend people my things; other than money, for some reason- lol. I suppose money doesn't hold a story or sth like that; cause I don't trust them with my things. If it's humanely possible, I'd scream at them for touching my things. I swear, I was very fumed when the aunty at YWCA outram moved my Paris Hilton bag from the office to the downstairs lounge where it's free and dandy for the world to see and touch. Luckily, nothing was taken. mf. MF I TELL YOU.

My clothes, don't even bother, I don't have enough.
Still wonder why I get thrilled buying a shirt that cost 30sgd?
CAUSE IT'S FLEXIBLE; CAN BE WORN ON ANY DANDY DAY.
Fool.
You ask why am i selfish as hell,
cause you lost/spoilt-idk wtf u did with my one most precious thing.
Dare ask what?
Wonder why I never asked about it though mother had told me?
Cause i felt you had enough dignity to tell me so.
Enough honesty in you.
Enough morals or whatever it is that resides in you.
And you wonder why i'm like that.

i still try holding on to silly things,
i never learn.

this has got to be the title of sj.bs one day. kthnxbye

2009-03-19T16:38:00.002+08:00

cause i redefine

"The opposite of love isn't hate," a really good friend had once said,"It's indifference."
Of course, I snorted at him and proceeded to hurl vulgarities at him.
But after a while, what he had said, seemed to make sence.

Cause I don't feel it.
I don't feel the hate.
Nor do I regret a damn thing.
I mean, after all the concern was wasted away, I had nothing to feel sad about.
I didn't even felt betrayed.
Not that I was "numb" cause there was no wound or hurt to begin with.
Now I know, what he had meant.
This is indifference.

2009-03-17T04:57:00.003+08:00

falling

I feel very weak at this point of time.
Perhaps I lack sleep.
The pain/discomfort isn't excruciating.
It's the kind that slowly builds up and eats you up inside.
Ahh, time to visit the doc's before things get worse.

Here's some anime geek talk. Enjoy.

Zaki says:
nvm
just watch kaworu aka tabris, the final angel
he's so hot
:X
red eyes, white hair
[c=13]siti ♡ [/c=#FC0C54] says:
i dont like lah
Zaki says:
i loike
:X
haha
[c=13]siti ♡ [/c=#FC0C54] says:
robots so turn off
Zaki says:
ok la i like cutesy boys u like manly types
hur hur hur
I CAN'T BELIEVE IM TELLING YOU I LIKE BOYS
WTF
WTF
WTF
WTF

YOU GOT PWNED ZAKI. BIG TIME.

anyways,

EVERYONE

MEET MY BOYFRIEND,

SANOSUKE SAGARA

lolx.

2009-03-14T14:19:00.003+08:00

but compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright

I don't like how the younger generation,who see me outside and quickly label me "step kakak2" because of how I dress. Butoh, I AM YOUR FUCKING KAKAK, fyi. I've tasted more shit, and ate more rice than you did. I'll be out of my glorious teen in a year, and you dare label me with the likes of you?

Forgive me if I've attained the miracles of the fountain of youth, and that you look like that, your face aged; lined with depression,and cursed with the after effects of alcohol, drug and cigarette abuse. Excuse me if I seem to gloat, but you YP tak sedar diri deserve it. Don't hate me that I glow with much radiance and grace, with this pubescent face of mine. Don't get me wrong, but one fine day, you'd wish you had more youth like me at 19, when people mistaken you for a 30 year old single mum! Looking younger than I actually am, is forever a compliment, so thank you, and go cry yourself to sleep.

2009-03-11T02:11:00.004+08:00

cause partings are always bitter sweet

Faiz and Saran got into a minor accident just now. Faiz was riding and idk wtf happened, they crashed into the curb. The way Jan had told me, was like as if they were on their way to the hospital or sth like that. I SWEAR, MY HEART SKIPPED 5 BEATS OR SO. I had hoped he was joking. Saran got away with minor scratches and perhaps trauma. I AM VERY FREAKED OUT IDONTTHINK ICAN SLEEP TODAY. i dont want anyone to like, die. I'm just relieved that they're alright.

razin is monster. he eats a lot and he doesn't ever get fat. i dont like him. lulz. joke.
...
.....
..
.
I am still very shaken by the thought of possible deaths. k i have no mood to blog.

2009-03-10T12:24:00.002+08:00

tears don't fall, they crash around me

If i were to stand on stage, the spotlight burning in my face,
you'd still be looking for me in the crowd.
If i were to scream your name, until my lungs collapse,
you'd never notice that I can't breathe.
Your attention is so difficult to buy.
The only time that I have it is when I start to cry.
But those are the times when I feel that it's too late.
Attention, attention. Your fucking attention.
A bucketful of tears, a fragment of a bone,
A fractured skull, or a pint of blood?
A pound of flesh, or sell my soul?
all these for your attention.

2009-03-09T02:15:00.007+08:00

walk, don't run; the sky is fuckin' falling through

God, I feel so square.
Lol. I should seriously be more spontaneous.

Daddykins gave me this phone yesterday. ((: I'M SO HAPPY. Though it's secondhand, he really bothered with my plea about wanting a pink phone. It's gorgeous. LG didn't fail in terms of design and function. It's user friendly to my surprise. It's pretty much like Nokia and Samsung into one. The only reason would I ever give up this phone is if I get a LG Viewty in pink or any other pink slide-out qwerty keyboard- I can only think of the Juicy Couture's sidekick.

My poor baby is having his first day of attachment. I'M SO SAD NOW. EVERYONE IS LEAVING ME FOR ATTACHMENTS AND NS. I think I should go live with my aunt. lulz. Like that would ever happen. I'll hang myself on the first day.

I cant wait for tomorrow's farewell dinner at Sakura buffet. I'LL MISS YOU GUYS.

2009-03-08T02:49:00.002+08:00

face down in the dirt

Spent our 1st year together at Carousel ((:
I had a teaspoon of everything there, except for the chicken wings and Nasi lemak. The food was pretty much alright. Service was great though. Okay, lol. I said that cause one of the service staff there gave me a Macaroon, for free! Taufiq freaked for 10 seconds wondering why he did that. I'M SO HAPPY, CAN'T YOU FUCKING TELL?.

I'm so in love with you. There is no other way that is humanely possible to replace those words.

Everything in this world, is like a piece of a puzzle for me to solve. There is always logic and sense to how one should fit into it. If it's put into the wrong places, there'd be gaps and holes, and if not, there'll be a distortion with the entire picture. God made it so that every question would have an answer and every disease would have a cure. However, I feel that God has this really sick joke with the angels, by deciding to plague humanity with really absurd people. God, I AM NOT AMUSED.

k it's 3am, and i'm just not talking sense.

2009-03-04T03:23:00.003+08:00

dazed

im starting to believe that my sister dances in her sleep. she'd be facing the door, and then a few hours later, she'd be facing the window. SHE ROTATES 90 DEGREES IN HER SLEEP. HOW COME SHE NEVER FALLS WHEN SHE SLEEPS ON HER OLD SINGLE SIZE BED?? Lol, i don't blame her. My bed is that comfortable. AND SHE COMPLAINS THAT I'M LIKE A HAMSTER RUMMAGING THROUGH MY THINGS IN BED!

comical really.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR OUR 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY ((:

I WUV U TEEEEEEE.

2009-02-27T06:55:00.003+08:00

i still try, holding on to silly things

Sheesha-ed with Taufiq and his friends. They were so funny that I keep choking on the smoke, saying all sort of shit.

Hafiz is so freaking irritating, I threw the menu to his face. Angry okay!
We ordered wedges as usual. (: Them wedges gets me so full, pronto. Knowing that their peppermint ice tea is so good from a visit before to the same cafe, we had to order another.

Taufiq fell sick ))): I AM SO SAD. I wanna bring him home and drug him with whatever just to make him feel better.LOLX.

Benn and I are on the phone for at least 10mins for the past few nights. Certain issues seem to never fade out. It's getting annoying that nothing has changed. I secretly had hoped that with my disappearance, something would change. A positive something for once. I don't know about you, but seriously, if i'm being rather insensitive here, please, just stab me, but I really wish that you'd either mend it or break it. And if it was never broken before then it doesn't need fixing. It will never stop hurting if you keep going at it in circles. Nothing will change if you don't fucking do it yourself. It's your problem after all. Friends could only give their different perceptive but you decide what needs to be done altogether. It seriously sucks to be have so many people coiled in the middle. Please, act your age. Cause everyone's losing that last bit of respect for you.

2009-02-26T04:47:00.003+08:00

scream till i faint

I will- yes, will- watch this with my boyfriend or I'll never ever forgive him or myself.
HAHA

shacks@teamdreamz.net said (1:35 AM):
and if there's one person who could talk some sense into him, its you

Talking sense is one thing, but whether a person listens, IS another thing. That's where the "into" comes in. Sigh. People never listen to me, like, ever, because for one, nobody takes me seriously, for I'm a girl. and the other it's people who has a problem, will always either live in denial or have a planet-size of an ego.

My bf never listens to me,EVEN THOUGH I'M RIGHT! I get bored telling him, "I told you so," with every inch of my skin in smug. I'm bored of telling my friends, "why you never listen to me?" or somewhere along that line. PEOPLE, LISTEN TO ME! I'm the most logical person I know- shows you how many people I've met, and how many people I know actually possess a brain.

If i tell you your bf is cheating on you, YES HE IS, CAUSE WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LIE?
If i tell you you're being an ass, YOU ARE ONE, CAUSE NOBODY LIKES YOU!
If i tell you you're a bitch, YOU ARE ONE, JUST LOOK AT HOW MANY HATETAGS YOU GET!

You people are just downright stupid! Doesn't take a genius to know all this. Just take 1 plus 2, YOU'LL GET A 3! Sigh. I'm so tired. Sometimes the answer is so obvious, but people just refuse to see it.

K, i'll stop being angry and conceited. bye(:

2009-02-25T03:17:00.004+08:00

under my skin

People can change. However,very few decide to get out of that comfort zone of familiarity.
change can always be for the better or the worst.
And the thing about change is that most people change without realising it. And those who wish to change find it a chore and hard.

Change is bitch. And bitches don't change. People i know who changed, become the biggest bitches.

Frankly, I have no idea to where this is going. It's anything less than substantial.

so lol @ me please.

I swear to god, I wished someone would really slap you back into reality. The world doesn't involve around you and you alone. I do not owe you a damn living. Why can't you grow up and stop acting like a pompous brat? Friends are not your disposable cutleries. You don't ask for trhem as when you please.

2009-02-24T00:24:00.002+08:00

i saw it all

All over again you make me fall for you.
I can trully believe
that I can spend my entire lifetime with you

CUT YOUR FUCKING HAIR!
lol.

I just counted that I have more than 10pairs of footwear already. :x

2009-02-22T18:25:00.002+08:00

yawns

i don't mean to be utterly delusional, BUT FUCKING SERIOUSLY, why are you copying me?
IN EVERY SINGLE CCB, ASPECT IN LIFE, you dare, insult me,YET YOU BLOODY COPY ME?

2009-02-21T04:11:00.003+08:00

GO KAIRI!

Zaki and I had teh session a night ago at 1.30 am. The word of the day had to be CB-UGLY, for I was describing girls whom I find are God's idea of a sick joke. Stab me, I'm oozing with guilt already. Eventually, the topic of Rat-girl came into mind. THANKS EH JAN, you infested our minds with this.

Talking to geeks like Jan is so much fun. Jan, you better snap out of your nonsensical desires to be dead, cause we're still here for you. don't be a selfish turd.

Taxi uncles seem to think that either my bf or I, is somehow pure chinese. Let it be Malay uncles or chinese ones, they'll somehow believe that we're part of that 70% population of the chinese. Flattering? Maybe, but WTF, I don't see how humanely possible is it for me, to look at all chinese. let's ignore the very minute percentage of Chinese heritage within me, and come to think of the very rationality of how tan.... and tan, I am.

I don't know how fucking stupid full grown men, can really get.
Man: I'LL SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON YOU, TO HAVE YOU.
Woman: haha. But I'm in love with someone else.
Man: -REPEAT FIRST LINE-
Woman: k good, I have free stuff.
The man's the idiot and the woman's the whore. So, what's new? NEXT DRAMA PLEASE.

I AM GOING TO WATCH BLEACH WHILE THINKING OF KAIRI. lol.

2009-02-16T22:20:00.002+08:00

vertical rush

Now that Jeff of Top Chef is out- I AM SO SAD, he is such a hottie.Don't he remind you of Jesse Spencer from House?- I'm rooting for the next best and humourous chef there is in the show- Fabio. (:

What's there not to like about Fabio, really? He's a chef, he's cute, he's italian, he's talented- molecular gastronomy genius-, he's funny and he's a chef. Wait, I did say that already, didn't I? <3<3

I love food, I really do. Though my friends complain that my gastronomic capacity is of just one prata, I really do love food. Or maybe they haven't seen me eat like how Tee seen me eat. k kinky

I'M GOING TO WATCH MORE VIDEOS AND EAT MY HEART OUT NOW CAUSE I AM VERY DEPRESSED.lol.
okay
no, i'm not.

I EAT CAUSE I CAN. so fuck you.

2009-02-16T00:21:00.008+08:00

i bet you believe, that i'm better off with you than someone else

In just a few more hours, after some probable tossing and turning, I'll be at my first day at work. I'm a bundle of nerves somehow.

A trainwreck more like it.

So how was your Valentine's day?

just like that.

2009-02-14T12:31:00.002+08:00

secret valentine

2009 has been awesome so far. I was offered a teaching post at a nearby kindergarten. It was totally unexpected as I went there to do a study and the principal just went like,"Would you like to teach?". I'm super excited to start. I love kids. (: thank you everyone for your well wishes, and their absolute fear for the lives of the kids there now since I'm around. Benn had said,"You're like the angriest person I know!". Awww Benn, you ain't see nothing yet ;)

Logan was quite upset about me tendering my resignation. Believe me, I hadn't seen myself resigning from Suki that soon either.

time to get ready for my valentine's picnic WOOTZ. ily taufiq rashid

2009-02-10T21:17:00.003+08:00

the best of the week so far

#1

(click to enlarge)

five points to jumatun for being so freaking lame.HAHAHA.

#2

I GOT MY NEW PASSPORT!!! (: <3 time for you people to update yours!

#3

Bought a picnic basket! So,so happy. (I wished I had my laptop right now, then I won't have to use this photo. It's the closest to mine)

#4

Benn agreed to drum for us!

bye

2009-02-09T16:58:00.002+08:00

a reminder

Songs I wanna jam:
1)check yes juliet
2)lollipop
3)addicted
4)a story to tell your friends
5)with me
6)remembering sunday

kthankxbye

2009-02-09T00:30:00.002+08:00

you're the one that i want

I had a McFlurry and an Ice cream sundae yesterday. The first two ice cream in months. My first two desserts in months. so yeah.

Don't ask me what i'm doing for Valentine's cause I don't know!

2009-02-07T22:53:00.002+08:00

yeah, whatever

I'm really cranky. I'm guessing my aunt's negative energy is draining mine. Yeah, I'm that all optimistic.

It's freaking Spring! I love Spring. The nights are unusually cold and the days are somewhat sunny and windy. I love it when it's Spring, especially in Singapore. you can actually feel the sudden change in weather later on in March-May where it'd be mindfuck blazing.

It's the best time to actually go out- which explains why I'm cranky now for I can't go out- and hang out under the sun. Picnic, anyone?

It's also the best time to shop, for Spring clothes. IMO, they are what I think are the most humanly possible to wear-especially in Singapore context. Plus, Spring clothes have so much bright colours on them, it's impossible to hate. The hues of bright orange, pink and green, makes me so happy. DON'T YOU FEEL MY JOY THAT IT'S FUCKING SPRING AGAIN!

Anyway, a must have for Spring- yup, here's the girly and shopping bit.

1) A bright bag. WHO DOESN'T LOVE A BRIGHT BAG!
2) A pair of 'in' shoes. What it means: A really rare and expensive pair of shoes by some top designer that costs 3 quarters of your salary. care factor= zero
3) Something sequined. (: Yeah, that's rad. i would love a nice clutch with all the shiny crystals or a hairband with the nice plastic gems.
4) A white banded watch. I don't know if that matters at all.
5) A piece of jewelery that carries a statement. A good statement, I hope :)

http://jezebel.com/374515/the-5-items-you-must-have-for-spring

2009-02-05T07:56:00.003+08:00

twinnings in the morning

I am thoroughly distraught with the fact that Dan Humphrey is now sleeping with that woman. I will never ever forgive the writers of GG, HOW COULD THEY!!??? ))): Dan Humphrey used to be so nice! Reminded me on how much I adore Taufiq, the sensitive new age guy. BUT NO........ they had to ruin Dan's reputation by making him the man that every man supposedly is... The jerk who gives in to temptations and the seduction of another woman.

I
CANNOT
TAKE IT!

And why is Chace Crawford still disgustingly good looking? The more I look at him, the more I feel that it's impossible for Man to be so perfect. Not to mention that he looks utterly masculine even with his 'manbangs'. Again,

I cannot take it.

heroes just makes me upset. The cheerleader's so whiny and nosey. I'm so happy they still have Sylar in the show though. He is so badass.

Ouh ya... I bumped into my ex boyfriend two days back at city hall mrt station while waiting for Ba Yun. He was waiting for his current gf who seemed to have stood him up- hah! 1-0. He said I lost a hell lot of weight- which is a lie cause every one lies to me about that. Thankfully, I looked awesome- 2-0!!!!-, in my seemingly all black outfit and my high waisted skirt. Yes, i have that much of a self-esteem going on there.

Sigh, I'm still not over the fact that Dan did that. I will cry myself to sleep now. )):

2009-02-04T16:25:00.002+08:00

pinch my heart

Ever since my father became captain, he's at home very often, sth i'm not very accustomed to. Now I can no longer have the angsty brat persona that I usually put on in face of my peers. Sigh. It was so good while it lasted.

Idk wtf is wrong with the desktop keyboards. I MUST FUCKING STAB EACH KEY IF NOT IT'D FAIL ME.

2009-01-31T02:25:00.005+08:00

an idiot's guide to life

Rule #1:

No matter how much you wanna impress a guy/girl that you like a certain something as much they like it, please do not push your luck to it, especially if you have no decent knowledge about it. DON'T EVEN TRY. A person must seriously <3<3<3 as the dimwit that you are-and you don't even need to hear this from a budding psychologist, IT'S JUST BASIC SURVIVAL KNOWLEDGE TO THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD. If you hadn't mattered before, would your suddenly increased knowledge in his/her particular expertise could impress him/her? He/She would just think you're an ass of a fool to even try. In other words; DON'T MACAM PAHAM.

I'm not saying that it's wrong to fight for love or anything, but to make a fool out of yourself is like totally embarrassing.

This is especially for all the groupie girls out there who suddenly claim that know it all about music. So every riff containing just a guitar is solo? Every drumming contains double pedaling? When the fact that there is none at all? WTF? Like seriously, HOW NOOB ARE YOU? LIKE STFU ALREADY! If you can tell me every damn string on a guitar and when it is tuned or not, then i'll spare you for everything. Till then,

it's Rule #2:

never ever share an umbrella with someone who towers you twice your height. The purpose of the umbrella would be redundant for both of you will get wet.

Rule #3

Always dress goddessly like Aphrodite. Unless you're poor, you solely depend on your face.

And if you have a face that I'd rather bag it than to see it, THEN STAY AT HOME. LOL JOKE.

Rule #4:

If you're a guy, always try to look badass. In this case here, it's an epic fail, since the guy in the middle is just to boy-boy to even pass.
If you're a girl, DON'T TRY TO LOOK BADASS, cause as seen in the picture here, it's a total fail as well.
And if your friends tell you that you're too skinny, THEN THEY'RE LYING. Cause how can that be skinny?

Rule #5:

Sarpino's pizza is win. LIKE SERIOUSLYYY, they put every other pizza I've ever eaten to shame. I don't why, I might be starving to death but I'll never be able to eat more than 2 slices of pizzas.

Rule #6

Step jambu is okay, BUT DON'T OVER DO IT. This is totally humiliating. lulz

but God knows you're built for sin

2009-01-29T01:18:00.004+08:00

stars can't fail us now

Now that you're back, I wanna spend more quality time with you, staring into the sky till the dawn breaks, with the wind whistling gently a tune. I seriously love you my kental boy (:

idk why i look so dark here. I WANT TO DIE. ):

sheesha-ed with Taufiq, Fir, Haqeem, Faiz, Razin, Prem and three other people who I don't know. Saran, Shafiq and Jane who were invited totally bailed out on us. And yes, him in the same sentence as the other, really wicked. A big thank you to Razin who not only initiated the idea, but also for paying for everything. ily deep2 <3<3

As a birthday present and a reminder to not run off with some Malaysian skank when Taufiq's there on vacation, I compiled random stuff together in a really sweet vintage box. Sweets, hersey kissables, a pacifier, a random note, a birthday card, and a chrome zippo. He was so thrilled with the effing overpriced-one-function-of-a-contraption I tell you. It's so incredible at how easy it is to make a guy smile. Nah, it's just me. I'm that awesome to know what my man wants. WOOTSZ. I think I should just buy every friend a zippo. LAWL

He bought me a burberry shawl and a magnetic bracelet cum necklace in KL. Lol. I love you sayang!

I seriously think that Topshop is ridiculously overpriced. Especially when it comes to tees and polos, even after discount. Like no way in hell will I pay 50sgd for a tee. I bought accessories from there though. Now that's a steal.

OMFG, MY BOYFRIEND SANG TO ME THIS EFFING CUTE SONG HE WROTE. Who cares about being a musician or not, as long you have the words that comes from the heart, it's great to hear. <3

2009-01-27T04:37:00.003+08:00

for i need you, just like the air that i breathe

Two things I miss:
1) muhammad taufiq
2) cheerleading - MUST.... LOSE WEIGHT...

The masks we wear... Wow. To think that a person you see, through a picture, let's say, has got everything. Great friends, or a beautiful face or a real great body... But once you dissect the face and chest, a whole other mess comes into the picture.

Can't wait for KL and Cambodia trip :D YEAH.
Can't wait to be around children teaching them the A, B, Cs. Kindergarten teacher me! Wootz. Pray people.
And finally, can't wait to meet my boyfriend in just a few hours time. I've missed you so much.

A raise of hands to those who think that F.O.B's new album's was pretty trashy.
.
.
.
This is what happens when you get married to Ashlee, Pete. Shit. And Patrick, what's with the barely audible singing. &To think I used to love your voice.

2009-01-26T17:54:00.004+08:00

just mouth off about the world
and how we know it’s going straight to hell

Exams results are out! One distinction and a pass. My aunt went freaking berserk with "WHY JUST A PASS? YOU HAVE NOT BEEN READING ENOUGH!" which is probably her way of saying: I'm so happy now that I wished I could die. Never would I dreamt to have a niece like you.

Yeah, aunty, I'm that good.

K, i joke.

Saran, Shafiq, the Slut and I- I CAN'T HELP IT JAN! THE JOKE WAS EPIC!- went to Jumali's bbq yesterday at ECP. I think I was starved mental, walking from area E to C. I stuffed four huge tiger prawns shamelessly. Good shit :D

I have hot friends.

OUH BENN YOU'RE SO HOT! lol. again, this is to boast his ego, and nothing more.

Bennlol, don't cry, you know we love you. <3<3

2009-01-21T00:28:00.003+08:00

most of all, it's built to last

cause i'm the happiest in your arms

2009-01-17T08:43:00.005+08:00

but i must confess, i'm in love with my ownself

Don't try to make it professional when the matter was after all personal from the start. Hit me with the facts on why you refuse to cooperate. If I'm over analyzing this, then do forgive me, for I'm probably over using my counseling knowledge- yes, fuck you, I'm taking the counseling module this term. If my other superiors had no problems with handling me, I seriously don't see why you do. If you can't talk to me one-on-one about whatever it is you are upset about, then seriously, grow up. I mean isn't that what maturity is about? Facing even your most worst enemy? If you can't do it to an 18 year old girl, won't people judge your capability to lead?

Got free tickets to Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella, starring Lea Salonga. OMFG. SHE IS SO CUTE ^^v

Met the boyfriend after his school at City Hall. I had asked him to buy me chewy cream puffs from Chewy Junior at Bugis.

me: DID YOU BUY HALF A DOZEN CHEWY PUFFS FOR ME BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT FLAVOUR I WANTED?
taufiq: ya. you know i'm like that
me: OMFG U ARE SO CUTE!

Yes, please envy me now and get on your knees, for I am a goddess.

idk

Before the show started, I managed to get a shot of the stage curtain. So pretty... omg, every thing is so pretty.... No photography allowed during the show. Tragic.

My favourite song from the musical (:

Impossible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage.
Impossible for a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage.
And four white mice will never be four white houses.
Such fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee of courses. Impossible!
But the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules
and won't believe what sensible people say..
and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible
hopes impossible things are happening every day!

It was a great show ((:

The next day, I went over to NP to meet Jovan to pass him some stuff.
On the way there- the 1hr and 30min bus ride- I texted Razin. I ended up smiling all the way in the bus. This is why(in malay, i won't bother translate this):

me: mepek pepek, lembut macam tetek. da ah, tak mu emo. aku da nak gi NP ni sekarang.
razin: LOL. yang kau nak gi NP to asal?
me: sal aku mimpi.
razin: lol. so you are not coming lah.
me: yes i am lah! i'm meeting my friend to pass sth to him.
razin: kau nak bagi aku aper?
me: rumah ah.
razin: -insert sth weird here cause i can't remember what he had texted back-
me: susah ah nak berbual dgn manusie macam kau. i meeting my other friend. Not you. da lah, tak mu emo ah. lubang hidung mu tetap menjadi pujaan hatiku.
razin: LOL. sarapan bangse ah kau. (FYI: sarap is a word razin enjoys using to describe rubbish talk.)
me: SARAPAN IS BREAKFAST BODOH.

~LOL. great way to start the day.

Left Arina and Julie for lunch at Far East Plaza (: I LOVE FEP! It's official. m-must. goooo. shoppingg...

<3

The boyfriend came over after Friday prayers.

Met Juliescary with her boyfriend, Skinnyfries. They are so hyper. Damn cute.

Yes, very cute.

After Skinny and Julie left, we went over to meet Wanda. So there... Off to school a few hours later.

(:

i'll continue some other day. till I get pictures from Wanda of course.

2009-01-12T01:24:00.005+08:00

the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen

I'm almost snoozing off right now, whilst doing my paper which is to be due on Wednesday. I'm freaking out, for anyone who is sane and healthy would do so, for nobody can conjure a brilliant thesis of 2000words in 3 days; one that is so brilliant that it deserves an A.

Went to Tampines with Tee yesterday as whenever we're sick of home, he'd go,"It's been a long time since we went to Tampines Mall eh?". Right. Had dinner and decided to get on to doing some random shopping. Another t-shirt from Splitz- TEH KEWLEST SHITZ DEZIGNS EVAR- and a freaking steal V neck tee from Cotton On for him. I generally do not like Cotton On- based on the unruly mess I always see at Plaza Singapura- however, I had to step in there for the sake of finding a certain vest for the boyfriend.

Some jokes...

# Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
# Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
# Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
# Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
# Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
# Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
# Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
# Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out

K nights

2009-01-09T03:14:00.002+08:00

bedtime stories...

Was repulsive. I love Adam Sandler, but recently, he's just not doing it right. I did manage a smile or two, that's because of the guinea pig. And what's up with using the same himbo for the same dumb Brit role? I do think the Brits are much more intelligent than the let's-take-over-Middle-East Americans.

What's good?

Something on BBC. The Diary Of Anne Frank. Yup, Jews are greedy. But an eye opener nonetheless.

I wonder what it feels like to drink my woes away.
Oh wait, been there, done that.
It's real mature cause you gotta be past 17 to do that.
I wonder how it feels to be utterly pessimistic, wishing they'd die by popping tons of pills when they're sick only to make them feel sicker.
Again, been there, done that.
I suppose it's to gain some sort of sympathy from others since sadness doesn't just reek off of you right?

You people are pathetic.
Already 19 (or anything above prepubescent) you think of dying...
And to think I'm going to be a fuckin psychologist...
You'd probably shoot me back down with "just look at the world" or "I'm brought up broken."
DIE. OH, GO AHEAD. Strangle yourself with your electric guitar strings, or jump down a building or frantically find a razor... The world would do good with less people who are so negative. Negativity is so powerful. The vibe just gets to me.

Jan, I support your hypothesis on suicide. And in case you or anyone else wants to do it, I shall quote; "Not in front of me."

Stop being such a wuss and live your life. Cause when you fall you either get up or stay there. Nobody can help you if you don't help yourself. And if you decide not to help yourself, you're just making it difficult for the people around you. And that is just selfish. Your bleakest moments are probably just the stepping stones of your lives. However, if you're still a puss by 50, just kill yourself already.

yup, that pretty much sums up everything. Time for BATMAN!

2009-01-08T02:50:00.003+08:00

there is no beauty in your make-up

I like to make this clear that no matter how annoying the both of you are and how you both cannot stand each other, I have to say that the both of you are part of my life and I love you both. Though it's very unlikely that both of you would ever stop it, I'll still stand up for you both depending on who is right and who is at the wrong. Yes, one is incredibly melampau perasaan terganggu, and the other just wants to pwn at everything, it's your life not mine.

BFFs (:

Slowly, each of you would be in NS. Thankfully, you guys won't be enlisted at the same time. Saran would be out by 2011... So would Jan... I hope. Then Razin and Shafiq would be in by 2010/2011... COULD BE 2012! 6/4 years together. The best friends I ever had and will have. No doubt about it, hands down.

2009-01-06T21:32:00.003+08:00

these words are my heart and soul

I have cynics and heretics for friends, but it doesn't mean I would love them any less. Through the years of friendship and this invisible silver cord that bounds us together, perhaps, there are no secrets. I've coped and probably accepted every tiny flaw that you have. However, it is undeniable that I am getting very very tired of the same complain over and over again. For you, you just think that every single one of them is as bad, but wtf, you are after all STRAIGHT. Nothing will change if you don't change. It will always be a different player, but doing the same story. What's needed to be changed is the question. You can't just believe that the next chick to walk through your door will be THE FREAKING ONE-XOXO-SOULMATE-LIFEPARTNER <3<3! Here's a tip, for every species, MAN, WOMAN, DOG, CUNT OR GIRAFFE, doesn't mean that they know/notice of your existence means that they have a thing for you! God, is it really so hard to tell whether a person likes you or not? NO, just fucking ask or they'll do the fucking asking, and if that never happens IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE. End of discussion.

Recently, I bought this off the net. LOL NADDIE, LET'S WEAR OUR STUD SKIRTS TOGETHER.

I believe that mine's a high waisted skirt. I thought I was totally slaying my reputation and ripping my face off the entire planet thinking that I'd look like a stubby dwarf or gnome with the skirt on. Turns out awesome.

Here are some tips on wearing high-waisted skirts(BOYS, you may skip this entire section):

Do opt for a pencil skirt or A-line fit for work. These are the best options for a clean and elegant silhouette, and can easily be paired with a blouse, crisp French cuff shirt, and blazer for a formal look.

Don't pair the high-waisted skirt with flats. The best options for this look are high-heeled pumps, stilettos, or platform wedges. Since most high-waisted skirts are the focal point of the outfit, you'll want to elongate the legs as much as possible.

Do try on the tux-style high-waisted skirt for special occasions. Available in a variety of metallic and shiny fabrics, these are a unique take on traditional styles.

Don't wear this one if you have a short torso. The high-waisted skirt (and pants) are best suited for women with long torsos since they do cinch up at the waist and take inches away from your upper body. If you're short or petite, this look will be difficult to pull off with style.

Don't wear it if you're heavy chested. The high waist cinches right below the rib cage, so it's not a good idea to wear something super-tight around that area; definitely choose lower waists if you have a fuller upper body. If you still insist on pulling it off, be sure to wear a loose and flowy top to balance out the look.

Do pair it with a big belt. Wide belts are a top pick this season, and a belt helps you cinch up the waist even tighter! Still, if you're looking for a figure-lengthening look, this one is not for you.

I thank god that I am properly portioned.

I am now branded as a mindfucker by my best friends. I always keep them guessing....

2009-01-05T10:13:00.006+08:00

FriendsOrEnemies

Today, I rose satisfied with the ample amount of sleep I had the previous night, starved however. At the moment, my eyes are really quite heavy, but my mind is wide awake. Perhaps I'm mentally preparing myself to a fresh start to working back at Suki. I love Suki, oh yes, I do. Not only do I not waste a single cent traveling, I get Japanese cuisine at it's finest.

I can't wait to meet Jan and gang after work. Good old Yengjie is going to army soon. Commando no less! (:

Yesterday, Firdaus' dad wedding at Grand Copthorne Hotel. My dad says he'd rather give me 10kSGD for fun rather than splurge on my wedding. Yes, dad, I'd very much love to have 10k for fun (: Plus, I think I'd want my wedding simple. However, if the prince of some weird country decides to court me, WHY NOT!!

50k wedding banquet.

k, off to work and fun. I LOVE MY DEPRESSING LIFE.

p.s there is something awfully different or new about my sister, but i just cannot put my finger onto it.

2009-01-04T03:02:00.005+08:00

go out in style

Everybody in my family is buzzing about Azmi getting engaged soon. -_-
I wished that everyone would calm down... Probably it would be the wedding (probably in a few years) of the century as I'd probably see light sabers and jedi knights instead of the usual silat opening thing.

Other than that, I don't see why everybody is all crazy about it. IT'S BOUND TO HAPPEN RIGHT! I mean, yeah, I expected it one fine day, but tbh, not this soon!

makes me wonder what we have to wear... Jedi robes?!

Just to sidetrack, I've watched Ip Man with my boyfriend and his cousins. TEH KEWLEST MUVIEE EVA! Omfg, it was awesome.

After that, I went off without any of them to hang out with Nadiah and Mike.

He had bought this gorgeous mask from an art shop to satisfy his new found hobby of making masks~ He's gonna tzeng the mask into a werewolf somehow. I don't understand how he could bare to even cut into it. THAT'S IT, I'M BUYING A MASK TOO.

He also spent some cash on a toy gun. As he need something to shoot.......

.... his other head. Also from the art shop.

I don't like Freddy Vs Jason.

And just in case you guys have forgotten how my cute boyfriend looks like or are lusting for him these days, here's sth to wank on.

2009-01-01T05:09:00.004+08:00

the sounds of the new year

Had fun with the secondary school guys on New Year's Eve. Supposed to meet Zeek too, however, he had to go fishing. FISHING! +_+

So what happened was..

A hell lot of smoking.

Emo guitaring

Peekchure taking. All in facebook. DON'T TORTURE ME TO UPLOAD THEM HERE THANKS.

And a hell lot of fun/stupidity.

Yup, story of my life. AWESOME NEW YEAR. (:

You know the irony of people who claims to be holier-than-thou? They're full of bull themselves. FULL OF BULL. "Oh, I'm a sweet innocent little kitty cat", "I don't do this and that cause it would hurt my reputation", "I am so much better than you because... well, I just think I am." Two words. Don't bull. Let me just summarize to you in a story;

Malin Kundang (also called Si Tanggang and Nakhoda Manis) is a Southeast Asian folktale about retribution on an ungrateful son. A sailor from a poor family, the protagonist voyages to seek his fortune, becoming rich and marrying a princess. On his return to his home village, he is ashamed of his humble origins and refuses to recognise his elderly mother. She curses him, and when he sets sail, he and his ship are turned to stone

Tak guna belajar tinggi-tinggi, rupa lawa kalau tak hormat mak bapak sendiri. If mats and minahs can show respect and even give their allowance to their parents, I don't see why educated people like you, can't do the same. The worldly possessions that we have now and will have later on, can never measure up to our parents' deed. I swear, I really thought I was wrong about you.

2008-12-31T04:40:00.008+08:00

goodbye

In just about 24hours or so, we'd be greeting 2009 with a blast of firework displays, countless hugs and kisses, and many other merry things that I cannot be bothered to think about right now. 2008 was a great year. Hands down, the best ever. The fall outs and other seemingly bad memories, I count them as the best turning points of my life, for through them the friendships and family bonds have became stronger than ever. These invisible thread that connect us with each other will always be threatened, not just by other people, but by ourselves. For now, before we embark in a new year, we shall and should forgive each other and more importantly, ourselves. We must remind ourselves that our little world is not impenetrable, for in the midst of our joys and triumphant, there are others whom we don't see, are suffering in the plague of war. We don't just make fuckin' New Year Resolutions for our personal gains, but for gains that would make this world a better place. We might not be able to stop the ongoing war at Israel and Palestine nor in Somalia, but we can always stop the war between ourselves.

You're the light of my life, you sick shit! I love you no matter how sick that brain of yours can be! Your jokes, I CANNOT STAND THEM; they make me laugh till my tummy hurts. I'll always love you (:

What can I say? tbh, I love you guys. :D

You're so sick.

Denvers.... Ah, I love you guys and I miss you people heaps. We are the most epic cheerleaders ever! Like seriously, how many cheerleaders have you seen totally working the baju kurung?!

Jm, pre, sherlene and the other BME people, I swear, I've never met a bunch like you guys in my life. The kind of ideas you people throw.. Yes, probably you guys shall be the brains and brawns of this crazy nation. JM, i love you. YOU'RE THE SICKEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET TBH! I cant believe that I spent 1hour talking to you just about one person.

Lastly, Jan and gang... I'll never get a decent photo of you all, ever... And to think I spent half my lifetime with you guys. WE WILL ROCK KUALA LUMPUR IN FEBRUARY. :)

Ah, 2009... Sigh. I GOT EXAMS THIS FRIDAY! HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE. I'll be mugging now.

Anyway, I'll leave you with my defense to why I don't think my make up is that thick...

LOL. don't ask me who she is, cause i don't know/remember. She's in my frienster though. lmao.

2008-12-30T04:25:00.001+08:00

you are the one and only

I FUCKIN' LOVE AVATAR: THE LEGEND OF AANG!

(:

2008-12-28T06:08:00.004+08:00

drained

Our group presentation was in a word: awesome. The lecturer wanted us to circulate our slides to the rest of our classmates! Anyway, I seriously cannot believe that someone could actually go to class in the most disheveled hair, and after sex clothes/pjs; sweat pants, slippers, an over sized shirt and a cardigan. Downright disgusting. not only did that person wore such a get-up for class, it was for a presentation as well. MY GOD. I so don't mean to bitch but seriously, doesn't mean you're married/attached you have a seasons' pass from dressing up-properly. I don't care if you have crazy hair to be honest, but I cannot stand the fact that you'd actually wear something so ... EVEN WORDS FAIL ME... gross for a freakin' presentation!

I met up with the BME guys for a while on Friday. God, I miss the lot of them; Jo, Fab, YF, Marzuq, Mario and Jon were there. I wished Vicente was there though. He'd always have the strangest comments ever.

After that I caught up with Nadiah and two of her guy friends, Benlol and Josh. They were a ball of fun to hang out with. Ben has the weirdest and so-cannot-make-it pick up lines. And to think his American accent could charm any Asian chick; he has had too many blonde moments in a day.

and we danced on into the night

Hahahehe

Slept over her place and camwhore until I couldn't take it. And yes, everybody loves J's skirt.

2008-12-24T01:28:00.002+08:00

I KISSED YOUR BOY AND HE LIKED IT!

Ahh. Pete Wentz... The things I would do to him... MUAHAHAHA.

Good night :) I have a date with my cutesy boyfriend again.

2008-12-23T03:04:00.002+08:00

for sure

All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

yup, the fuckin' best I will ever have.

I'm so emo now. Butoh. LOL. I cannot believe that I wasn't given the perfect score just because of a referencing criteria- if referencing is even a criteria. 18/20. Bleagh. I slogged for the essay yet I wasted practically 2 marks for sth as trivial as referencing. Sigh. SIGH. Lesson learnt, well done. I firmly believe I've wasted my chances of getting a distinction now. I can so imagine my aunt's sms now; "Why? -insert something gibberish here- Blah, blah, blah. So, what are you gonna do now?!". Thank god my parent's aren't as meticulous or whatever the word is as her when it comes to academics. I suppose they strongly believe that whatever the fuck I did, I did it my best.

I will now remind myself to why I don't quite favour dining at Pizza Hut; everything there contains chicken. Well, practically everything...

My boyfriend, out of randomness, decided that we should go vegan; for at least a week. Well, not entirely vegetarian, but 70% veggie eating for each day. Which seems to add to the fact that only one meal, can consist of meat. I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK BABY. (: To why he had started this new fad was because he wanted clear and healthy skin and the best way to attain that is to eat right and go for a detox internally. In support of his efforts and dying wish for clear skin, he dragged me into it as well. I'm sorry baby, but I've already cut my intake of chicken, duck, lamb, mutton, and beef- I only eat beef once in like every 3-4 months?- to it's max. To live on just tofu seems to be scary. Plus, I'm no Hindu. Lol. Joke, I'm sorry Shafiq, but the beef part totally reminded me of you thinking that I thought you were Hindu. LOL.

I love you people & of course all my Hindu friends. Peace.

2008-12-22T03:01:00.003+08:00

so is this really what you want from me?

I've been watching too much of Inuyasha. Hehe (:

I've completed my fuckin' essay. One more essay to go before the exams till I can finally unwind for a well deserved break. (:

Hakim and Lilo called just now when I was dozing off as I was too tired from thinking on how to complete my essay. Got me all watery-eyed. Sigh, I miss you guys too ):

HAHAH.

I convinced Firdauz to get me and Nadiah to help out with his father's wedding at the reception's. HAHA. N! I just given you and your mum an excuse to buy a really pretty dress!

I LOVE CHAWANMUSHI
Lunch with baby tomorrow! ILY!

2008-12-21T02:21:00.003+08:00

from am to pm

Time/ Date: 0615, 20th December
Location: Changi Village bus stop
After Kenneth's party.

status: tired

Time/ Date: 1715, 20th December
Location: Outside Plaza Singapura
Walking to The Cathay to meet up with Jan, Razin, Saran, Megat and Shafiq (:
to watch Twilight.

status: half alive

P.S: TWILIGHT'S A FUCKIN' WASTE OF TIME IF YOU HAVE THE MATURITY OF A NORMAL 18 YEAR OLD ADULT. It's not as fuckin great or even awesome/epic at all! IT'S A LOAD OF BULL! Even the fucking book is a load of bull. Like the book, characters talk too much and they never, ever, ever get to the fuckin' point. However, if I had the mentality of a brainless 15 year old, I'd gladly give it a 6.5 out of 10. Yeah, yeah, the lust, the desire, THE ATTRACTION. HOW OLD ARE YOU?! Ditch Twilight people, the trailer might be awesome, but that's as much action you can get from the entire movie. I take back every damn word I had said about Twilight before this entry. It was romance taken to the very extreme. Too much of one thing, is never good. The only thing good about Twilight? Doctor Cullen (:

The results of just 2hours of sleep since I woke up on the 19th, 1800hours.

FUCK THIS ENTRY!
Bottomline: great weekend. INDULGE WHILE YOU STILL FUCKIN' CAN!

I'm tired and I want to sleep T_T

2008-12-19T01:06:00.003+08:00

I think I finally got it to why my boyfriend was singing
"That's what you get" by Paramore.

I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why?
All the possibilities...
Well I was wrong

Time to emo. kthnxbye.

2008-12-18T00:02:00.003+08:00

But I don't really like you, apologetically dressed in the best, but on a heartbeat glide

After many years being together, dedicating our lepak sessions with song and nicotine, and the occasional carbs and saccharine- my god, why do I rhyme like this?, we've decided after squabbles after squabbles about choice of songs, to write one for ourselves. It proved to be fun actually, but horribly exhausting.

I'm excited obviously, as the first song we are working on was written by me-quite horribly, in a spur of the moment when I cannot fall asleep. I think I can safely say, it's not what Razin had in mind, but it was a progress. I cannot blame him though. I had the whole Blink 182 and ESTK vibe going on when I was writing it! sigh, i am confused.

I'm so enamored.

HI JAKE RICHARDSON! I LOVE YOU! I don't care if you're just an extra in many-many hit television shows, YOU ARE STILL SPIFFING CUTE! (:

K, I'm going to watch Batman Beyond movie, after which, I would be reading Twilight. It's like taking me back to my preteens where I would dwell myself into books like these, and imagine a boyfriend as hot as what is described in books. I KNOW, I AM SO KENTAL!

Since we are in the topic of pure berangan-angan(daydreams), I EFFING WANT A ROCKSTAR BOYFRIEND. Not just a rockstar, but an angmoh rockstar boyfriend. Hahahehehuhu. My boyfriend is so gonna emo after reading this. However, I don't give no shitnits, cause he has horny thoughts about just about every pretty female celeb there is. Remember your orgy with the PCD, baby? YOU FUCKIN' WISH!

i love you baby! (:

Remember children: Listen to real music, not the Jonas Brothers/Sisters. BACK IN YOUR FACE MAINSTREAMERS. stop trying so hard not to be who you are. Face it, you are ugly, fat and you suck.

2008-12-16T00:35:00.002+08:00

all again for you

I crushed
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you

This song, never ever fails. IT NEVER FAILS....

2008-12-15T03:01:00.003+08:00

so out of this world

I love it when he smiles, the way he flips his hair like as if it's so long, the way his eyes gaze meaningfully into mine... and I love it when he calls. But he never calls at all... thanks to soccer.

Monopoly is so stressful. It got me so emo. I was near bankruptcy. You'd never want to have the feeling of being bankrupt, not in this world, not even in a game. However, the tables turned and I was the last to lose. Sigh. By sheer dumb luck, that is.

2008-12-13T19:24:00.005+08:00

blown away, blown away

This is Miss Thailand, of Miss World 2008. Yes, she's that gorgeous. T_T As expected, she did not even get through the semi-finals. She just doesn't fit the western definition of beauty; and that is to be of an Aryan descent.

I shall now remind myself to what a stressful period it's supposed to be for me. So much for it being the festive season. However, I'm not afraid; yet.

this cartoon reminds me on how much i wanna strangle a certain person for vexing me into tears. i am angry. BYE

2008-12-12T02:24:00.006+08:00

a no boys entry

Chelsia had a make-up private sale for the 3 of us in class ytd. The best $40 I ever spent. If only I had a lifetime supply of B.B eyeshadow... The other two girls and I spent practically half our break time on the wonders of eyeshadow.

One of the two amazing eyewear that I had brought was this one right here. Awarded 'Best Cream Shadow' by "Self" Magazine (2007). I bought it in galaxy, a shade of really dark but glittery grey. I've yet to experiment on it though. Can't wait! The other eyeshadow I bought was the Shimmer Wash Eyeshadow in gold. My fingers were itching to try it once I got home!

I tried the rose gold look. not bad for a first attempt! Huhu. I decided not to put any eyeliner or mascara on cause it'd be such a hassle to remove! :D Anyway, my eyewear make up that I used was all pretty shimmery and glittery, so recommend that you'd use shimmery make-up for the base- in this case, the gold colour. Stick to matte make-up for the browns (corner of the eyes), purplish pinks(on the crease) and the whites(browbone).

products used:

Lancome 4 Colour Focus eyeshadow - all the colours i need for the look
Bobbi Brown Shimmer Wash Eyeshadow in Gold.

nights

2008-12-11T03:59:00.003+08:00

(:

Taufiq cabbed from Pasir Ris to Punggol at 1230am just now just to meet me. I was so angry with him that he cabbed all the way here for nothing. His excuse was,"But I miss you," his huge puppy dog eyes watering. I love you so much, baby :D

Someone had said this once, so I'll say this to make things crystal clear;

cerita yang dah lama habis, jangan diungkit-ungkit lagi

And this too;

siapa yang carik siapa? aku yang carik dier ker? dier yang ngadu kat aku per. tu lah, lain kali, ader boyfriend tu, tak mu control queen. nanti dier lari kat pompan lain. memang pompan tu, bitch lah kater kan, tapi, munasabah tak kalau dikatakan yang kalau kau tak control giler babi dan asyik2 nak ikutkan kau, dier tak kan buat cam gini, dan bitch ini tak kan masuk campur? da lah dulu yg kawan primary school aku kau buat gitu, tak erti ker? abeh dah settle cerita tu, maseh tak nak berubah, taknak dengar cakap org. yang rugi siaper? aku ker? gasak kau lah. kater jer cinta. kalau cinta itu patut terluka sangat, takde org yang nak jatuh cinta. kalau kerana cinta hati pedih dan berbisa, itu da namanye seksa. suker kena seksa? memang cinta/sayang ader pahitnye, tapi manisnye tentunye lebih. fikirkan sendiri ah. mepek pepek, lembut macam tetek.

da ah, gua nak tido! hahahahhaha.

2008-12-09T17:01:00.005+08:00

siapa kata gadis melayu tak menawan?

Aidiladha 2008.

The thing about the western counterparts of the family is that they have really cute mini babies. Look at how Amirul smiles. He had this slightly too long blue denims on him, and it made his legs look so short and stubby. HE HAS THE CUTEST FEET EVER!

Here, we see is our mini flirt, Aini comforting a very disgruntled Ahmad. Though, it's my hand in the photo, she was practically all over him- touching him every where! She has no shame, I swear. Hahah.

Finally, this is mini diamond- Durrah. She is a splitting image of her mum. So fair and so pretty. :D

Reasons to wear make up: YOU'D LOOK FREAKIN' FLAWSLESS WHEN THE FLASH IS USED!

Jln2 carik makan! All the food was gone! And Noni was craving for Fried Mars Bars.
And yes, very much like my friends, I do hate family gatherings.

I <3 sambal prawn! now i feel like my blood pressure increased dramatically thanks to the high intake of cholesterol. HAHA. Binge...

2008-12-08T01:47:00.006+08:00

the sixth

As usual, it's the sixth of the month; our freakin' anniversary. (: 9months!

We celebrated it at Manhattan Fish Market. I've been dying to eat there and finally, boyfriend brought me there! I wasn't at all disappointed! The food was top notch, and the place had this nice ambiance.

A page of the menu. I WANTED TO TRY THE LOBSTER LAH. However, I would never finish sth as big as that on my own as my boyfriend is probably allergic. Fucked up, okay.

The only disappointment was the cream of mushroom soup. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING AS BLAND AS THAT.

siti = (9'_')9

bland bland bland soup = add more salt.

Flame on.

I suppose it's called flaming grilled platter for a reason.

Omg, it's so good.

Baby's fettuccine grilled fish

dawg.

Come on people, it's best you try :D

Muallaf was an eye opener. Taufiq kept gushing at Sharifah Amani's every word. He probably hung on to every single on of it. -_-

i <3 you baby! I cant stand your cute face, makes me wanna step on it.

2008-12-06T02:25:00.004+08:00

since when...

Was it ever cool to hyphen every letter in a verb in your every paragraph, just to put an emphasis on something you find crucial? Does one actually realise that to do so, is blatantly asking your reader to spell the very word out mentally. For one, it's exhausting, and for another, i think the caps is enough to emphasize your fury. Yes, we get it. You are upset, but why agonize innocent bloghoppers? But of course, I'm just generalizing. The neon coloured fonts, the unnecessary caps, the hahahehehohohuhu behind every line they find worth mentioning... For god's sake, spare our eyes. Pet peeve.............

I believe that a hell lot of people would do this thing of, "Don't read my fucken' blog if you don't like what I write," which i think is really dumb. Like, yes, we give a damn to what you write-it's quite honourific actually- cause we actually find you rather interesting, or you're just plain fun to laugh at. some people decide to isolate themselves by privatizing their blogs, what a heart breaker. You totally would disappoint my anticipating vexation. However, don't fret, you're still cool that way. I am just way too peculiar about the representation of literature.

On a completely different note,

I cannot stand the fact that so many people I know or read about are just that stupid. They hang on to something not worth having. Is that loyalty or is one blinded by the elusive l-o-v-e? Do they just want to get hurt, or are they for certain that person is true love. But here's the irony, since when is it ever said in a text that love is supposed to hurt? It does hurt sometimes, but is it supposed to be that way everytime? When are you people going to fuckin' grow up and not go on to that endless circle of getting hurt? Look at the clock, it's time to move on.

I like punk goes crunk!

Been in my itunes for months already, so I thought of sharing, for once. Not a huge fan of the band cause I find them writing retarded songs but the bassist cute seh!!!

2008-12-05T02:08:00.006+08:00

don't stop

I

cannot

wait

to

spend

money
!
!
!

N and I went to Plaza Singapura today. I was quite half hearted to go as it was raining like it had never rained before. Spare me the agonizing lecture of it being the monsoon season in this part of Asia, cause I know. Made me freaking wish that I was in the Middle East, with all the glorious sunshine on my face. Just to sidetrack a little, I FUCKIN WANNA GO TO TURKEY NEXT JUNE. One of my aunt's in-laws is getting married, if I remembered correctly. IF I could perhaps chip in a lil to the air tickets, my aunt is sure to let me be there. Hahahehehuhu.

Anyway, while I was waiting for Nad, I went around at the ground floors of the humongous shopping center in search of scraps of food to munch on since she'll be making her grand entrance in half an hour or so. I was freakin hungry by then. I bought Jellybeans. BUTTER POPCORN FLAVOUR JELLYBEANS IS TEH SHIT! It kind of sets my heart ablaze, and tongue just yearns for more. MORE. When she finally arrived, she got hooked. Nothing could stop her. She could have cried when I took them away.

We window shopped a little. And I found a pair of Oxford looking shoes that are a must have, and a pair of very cute loafers that I've been meaning to get since I saw it a month back. Though I seriously feel that loafers are the most auntiest footwear ever, Sheryn later in class proved me wrong. She wore it like it's hot! AND THEY WEAR YELLOW. Yet she looks totally unaunty!

In case you goon girls have no spiffing clue on what loafers and oxford are, here's an idea. I got them off the net. The ones I want to buy is 500 times nicer than these! I fuckin promise you, they are!

I am so into fashion now. I GREW UP. k. That's just two shoes. I'm in a desperate search for more. DESPERATE I TELL YOU. If you see shoes like these around, please tell me. again, my cry for help has never been answered. AREN'T HALF OF YOU BITCHES READING MY BLOG ARE GIRLS WHO DETEST MY VERY HOLY EXISTENCE? lol. Anyway, do tell, cause I'll kill your mums if you dont.

I finally had fun in class. Like, okay, the lesson was dreadfully boring. I was nodding myself to sleep. However, when it came to our mini break, the clique got all high for some reason. Sometimes, I feel it's such a crying shame that I only get to meet these people for just 3 hours, twice a week. I seriously have this delusional thinking that we'd be better friends, if we had more time for each other. I'm also secretly in love with Chelsia. Her Brit accent drives me wild. OKAY THAT IS A JOKE.

Speaking of friends, I miss my sec sch friends whom I've not seen in days, and my poly friends, whom I've not met IN MONTHS. I might get really big headed soon, so please meet me and deflate my over-sized ego.

Also, I need someone to tell me if I'm fat or not.

Here's my most recent photograph:

K, bye people.

they shine like silhouettes

2008-12-04T02:05:00.004+08:00

NGENGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I feel like tearing my hair off. I am seriously tired and rather pissed off. On the contrary, I have no solid evidence that what happened was the cause of my carelessness to have not double checked or the cause of plain ignorance by the other party for using my location convenience to their advantage. At the moment, in fact, for the past few days, I've been boring myself to death by watching tons of documentaries just to get me snoring to sleep. It's not that I'm actually suffering from any form of insomnia, I just don't feel like sleeping when I feel very annoyed. Please shoot me.

And for the record, I hate a manipulating skank who claims to bear her entire promiscuousity on another party. FUCK YOUR MUM! I am very pissed. Do remember, he's my boyfriend's cousin. If you cause him to have rifts with me, YOU'RE CAUSING A RIFT BETWEEN ME AND MY BOYFRIEND. I'LL STEP ON YOUR SKELETAL FACE! Probably you've reached some sort self actualization since you're the modern Hitler of the century, but you don't full me. Please do something to that face of yours. What the fuck is the point of being in Beauty Therapy when your face is a total hypocrisy to what beauty is all about.

SIGH. I'll go watch more documentaries now. T_T

2008-12-03T00:59:00.003+08:00

humming merry

I must confess, that I am guilty of always taking a peek at your photos. That huge smile of yours seems to remind me on how much I'd love to break your perfect teeth apart, and how I hope that your acne would mutate into a grotesque tumour. That's how much I'd like to hurt you, though I know, you did nothing wrong.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

The restaurant kept playing this disc that has this song. It gets to me, I swear. I seriously would request a change of CD! |:

I HAD MY TYPHOID JAB TODAY! I'm such a big girl now.... rofl. Trust me, I was shaking like a leaf in front of the doctor, however, I braced myself with all the courage I could muster just for that few seconds. I shut my eyes really really tightly.... Three seconds passed since I felt a probe through my delicate skin-lol- so I peeked a little, wondering when will this heart racing phenomena of vaccinating would end. Turns out, it was already out! For one, it didn't feel like an ant-bite like what half of the population said, neither did it felt ticklish like what a certain sadist nurse had said. I practically pranced out of the room, feeling oh-so-mighty!

A very very very very random thought of the day:

I am very very very obsessed with Li Syaoran from CLAMP.

I have a huge crush on him lah, hello! I suppose the fetish for boys with dreamy brown eyes stuck till today (:

yeah, you know it's you

2008-12-01T03:07:00.003+08:00

happy birthday Shona!

The most interesting thing that happened today was that I managed to bump into my sister at home. Lol.

Other than that, she managed to pluck my eyebrows. I was quite terrified at her menacing knowing smile of which i decided that it was now or never.

Turned out not bad. It's so neat now.

This is now

bleaghhh. such a camwhore. (:

How many times should we play the merry-go-round and end up at exactly where we used to be? Isn't it time for a breather? Why do we need to glorify ourselves with the matters of familiarity and not go into the dangers of the unknown? Does this dark dank hole we crawl helplessly in the only place we know?

K. I <3 YOU PPL. bye. I'll update if I'm inspired to criticize anyone.

2008-11-30T01:32:00.000+08:00

sex sells and your sex cells

The boyfriend and I finally went out on a date after so long.... He's been studying. Shocker, i know. HEHEHE! I had Ebi Curry Don at Fork and Spoon, while he had some chicken shit, which i didn't bother to snap a photo of. IT'S CHICKEN. Btw, I don't quite fancy Japanese Curry. It's such a.. mouthful, i suppose. I still prefer the traditional Indian curry!

I GOT NOTHING INTERESTING TO SAY!

MY BOYFRIEND HAS ACNE. LET'S LAUGH! okay, joke. I LOVE U BABY!

siti ♡ kucinta             says:
WHY WONT WXYZ AND QWERTY JUST MAKE A MOVE
XXX says:
fear of rejection
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
and not wait for THAT TIME that will never come.
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
like WXYZ
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
fuck, nak tunggu THAT MOMENT. cb u think that moment happens in real life. SIGH XXX
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
omg kalau nak try ah
XXX says:
its not as easy as you think you know. the fear of rejection is overwhelming
XXX says:
esp when a guy likes you like damn badly. he'd rather love you from far den get close to you den get rejected
XXX says:
my english is bad. my eyes are half closed
XXX says:
lol
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
THAT IS DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD. lol
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
joke
XXX says:
relax. its instances like that, that makes a man mature in love
XXX says:
i've been thru it
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
awww
XXX says:
i think
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
so cute
XXX says:
lol
XXX says:
really
      siti ♡ kucinta             says:
U ARE SO KAWAII!
XXX says:
ok your lesbian

PRETEND IT'S INTERESTING!

I cannot wait for everything I've planned for next week. EVERYTHING. (:

2008-11-26T01:01:00.003+08:00

femme fatale

My favourite blonde of 2008 is none other than the very sexy vegetarian Kristen Bell. Not only does she look great in orange- something that I can never pull- she electrified us with her role as psychotic Elle in heroes, her subtle alluring voice in Gossip Girl, she also got our hormones raging in her sex kitty role in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. You know we love you Bell (:

I get this rather insane satisfaction, to the point that I find it quite of a perversion, whenever I crack a can of Cola open, for the customers at the restaurant. It's not the just sound of the can being opened, but also how the liquid fizz it's way down through the cubes of ice in the glass. I'm not a fan of fizzy drinks for I've abstained from that horrendously diabetic drink for years-perhaps once in a blue moon- but I don't know why I had the urge to get myself a small bottle of Cola today. I suppose this one of those blue moons. So after I had it chilled for a while, I opened the cap to be pleasantly greeted by that so familiar fizz, and poured it into a cup full of ice.

I'M TELLING YOU, I WAS THE HAPPIEST GIT IN THE WORLD FOR THAT FEW SECONDS!

Now that I'm drinking it from that very cup, I don't feel that happy at all. The gases attacked my guts with every possible effervescent there is. It's now that I realise to why I don't drink Cola on a regular basis.

I suppose this is a sign to how I miss work already.

You know, I'll never get sick on how many times I say this, but you guys are really the most awesome people I've ever met. In spite of the many times, I've made you guys mad, or created some sort of rift, you guys were always there, even if you do feel like stepping on my face. I feel that you guys kept me grounded for all these years, to slap me in the face with words when I get too big headed. You guys remind me of crude reality, always honest and always have good intentions. <3 you ppl. I WANT TO KILL YOU GUYS.

Jan, you're one of the only person in the world i can trust in spite of your innate ability to shield your thoughts from me. You're quite a wonder, and a mystery no doubt, but you're always there to put some joy and laughter in the little circle.

Shafiq, you have one of the most ridiculous minds amongst all of us. I sometimes wonder if you have a vortex that actually sucks your brains in, in your head, for I feel you are quite mindless, so to speak. However, in spite of your tenacious ability to turn all of us off with your senseless talk of perversion, you are just plain lovable. It's so hard to not like you, i swear. And one day, YOU'LL GET LAID, SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT!

Razin, the most -_- of the three. You give me OMGs for countless times on how brilliant that mind of yours works- in doing the dumbest things ever. You'll always have a plan for the world to taste the likes of Razin. And whether you fail or not, you are by far, probably one of the bravest I've ever met.

hehex. enough of rambling. i'll do sth useful now. like watch House!

2008-11-25T01:28:00.000+08:00

as fake as the moans you make

The movie to watch this month.

Another tale by Yasmin Ahmad, starring her favourite mini Audrey Hepburn, Sharifah Amani.

THE movie to watch in December, a great way to end the year, if I might add, is Twilight.

I've mentioned this movie like fucking eons ago in a previous post. IT IS A MUST-WATCH. I have not bothered to read the novels- I doubt that ever will- but I suppose it's like the forbidden vampire love books written by another author, L.J Smith. Pretty typical, but this is a flick for the romantics. (:

At the moment, I'm savouring my day off from work and school with Daim, Kinder Schoko Bons, and Panna chocolates that I bought from Candy Empire, while watching Merlin. Reminds me of the 90's where there was Xena the Warrior Princess and Hercules on television- they were the most ridiculous shows I've ever seen. If I can find Robin Hood(the brit show, not that kinky lame ass one that the americans produced), I'd be sure to watch it. Their irish-born RH is really hunky.

Question. Why are they showing Gossip Girl, and How I Met Your Mother next Monday instead of this week? Why do they do this like every other alternate weeks??? I AM ANGRY.

Remember Sky Dancers? It's painful to watch it now. I swear.

One of the guys prominently displays homosexual tendencies.

lalalalaa